Online Dating....to Real Dating

Alright, not sure if this was the right place to put this, but...

So I'm new at doing this online dating thing.

I've been chatting with some guys online the past few days and today he's invited me to go to a free drag show in Manhattan tonight. Should I go? I mean I don't know him really well, but he seems really nice. I've never been to a drag show. He lives there but I don't. Little bit afraid to go into the city at night by myself but he's agreed to meet me at the ferry terminal at least. Do you think it is risky? Worth it?

Also another question, but again I'm new at online dating, and a bunch of guys all message me at the same time and I talk to all of them and get along with a few of them, and they all invite me on dates and stuff...is it wrong to go on dates with multiple guys I meet on there? I mean, it's not like I'm actually in a relationship with any of them, I haven't even met them yet.

Sorry about the stupid questions, my mind is just a little hyper today trying to sort my emotions out and stuff. I've never even been on a date with a guy, and the prospect both frightens and excites me.

 

Alright well I didn't get a chance to read any responses before I left, so I guess I didn't follow your advice, sorry..but just to update....I did go meet the guy in the city, we went to a free drag show at a gay bar. He was cute and seemed really nice; same age as me. He didn't drink but I had a few drinks. Afterward it was like 3 am so he invited me back to his place for the night. We made out on the subway and then at his place we cuddled and fooled around a bit sexually: performed oral on each other, and I bottomed for him, which was my first real experience of sex with a guy (yes, I insisted on a condom!). We slept in each other's arms, then we woke up around 11, I left and just got home.

I suppose things could have gone really badly for me if I put myself in this situation with someone who had malicious intentions. But I don't regret anything I did, I'm happy I did it.

I'm not really sure going forward what's going to happen, if a relationship will develop, but it was still a great experience IMO.

Though now I feel guilty about another cute guy I've been chatting with whom I also connected to really well, I can't have two boyfriends, ugh....

 

Actually just to update, when I left this guy's apartment the next morning, it was a bit of a rush. He said he had a doctor's appointment or something and was sorry he had lost track of time. (We slept in together til like 11:30 am, so I don't doubt the veracity of his story). Though I thought it would have been nice to maybe spend the day together, or at least I expected him to go with me on my way home, or even just to walk me to the subway stop, cause I was a bit hungover and had no idea where I was, but whatever, got dressed quickly, and I figured it out.

Keeping in mind your story, I was thinking this was probably just a hookup, he got what he wanted, and I would never hear from him again. I mean, it was technically a date though, we spent most of the night out at the gay bar watching a drag show and having a good time; he had been nice enough to take the ferry to come meet me so we could then ride it to the city together. Quite a lot effort to invest if all he wanted was quick sex.

But we were getting so affectionate together at the bar and then again on the train that I guess we both knew what we wanted to do; I certainly don't regret the intimacy even though I was drunk.

Anyway, after I left, he did text me telling me to have a good day. A few hours later I responded and told him you too, but that was it, no more responses.

Two nights ago I messaged him thanking him and telling him what a wonderful time I had with him and all that, but he didn't respond. So I was accepting the idea that nothing would come of this, and I should just move on.

However all of a sudden tonight, just a few hours ago, he messaged me back apologizing for not responding sooner and told me "no problem " in response to my message.

Now, neither he nor I mentioned anything in our messages about seeing each other again or doing anything. I was shocked that he responded at all though. Does he want to see me again? Does anyone have any advice on what I should do or say? Ugh, I'm so lost at the whole relationship game. :help:

 

Well yeah I guess one of us has to step up...but the dynamics of our relationship were such that I would feel a bit strange being the one to ask him out now...I'm just very shy and passive I suppose....I never make the first move...


I've been trying to go over in my head all the reasons he might not want to see me again. I did have quite a bit to drink, so my memory is a little blurry from the time at the bar, I hope I didn't embarrass him. I feel like I was probably getting a bit too affectionate, my arms were pretty much all over him from beginning to an end...dunno....:icon_redf


But anyway, all he said in his text was "sry" for not responding and then "no problem " in response to me telling him thanks for everything. It sounds like he's just trying to be nice and let me down easy. Do you really think he's still interested? I don't want to sound desperate or anything.

 

Alright so yesterday I messaged him back telling him that I was happy just to hear from him again.

No response again. :icon_sad:

So a day later (tonight), I decide to gently confront the issue and asked him if he didn't want to talk to me anymore. He then responded quickly to me telling me sry, that he sleeps during the day and has been very sick. I told him sry, I hope he feels better...and no response from him.

Does this guy want to talk to me ever again or not?

 

Alright, so the guy I went on this date with still hasn't really messaged me after our last exchange (where he apologized for not messaging and said he's been sick)...should I message him again? Would that make me look desperate, or a nuisance? It's been like a week since our last contact.

I'm trying to think of reasons why he wouldn't message me. Is it because he's just completely not interested? Is there some kind of awkward tension because of the fact that we slept together on out first date? Does he think I'm some kind of drunken slut for doing that (ironic since that was my first real experience with a guy)? Does he think I was just looking for sexual hookups and not relationship material? Or was he just looking for a hookup all along, despite the fact that he explicitly said he isn't on his profile and to me when I was with him...?

The thing that bothers me is that we haven't had a single real conversation since that night, so I have no idea how he really felt, what I might have done or said wrong, whether we might have been able to make something work...I really want to at least message him and talk to him, but I don't want to be thought as some kind of obsessive creep in case he really is just not into me...

If we leave things off as they are now, then that night as far as I can tell was little more than a glorified hookup. :icon_sad:

Ugh, I can't handle personal relationships. :bang: :help:


Today I tried going out on a lunch date with someone else but it was really boring, I miss the fun I had the night I went on that first date when I started this thread....

 

Anyone? Should I message this guy once more or just forget about him? Maybe he's been waiting for me to make the move?