Oldest guy you would date?

LOL! That rule sucks. :lol:

I just turned 13, so (13-7) x 2 = 12!!! So, like I'm not allowed to date anyone older than 12???

I don't care how old someone is, long as he's hot looking and nice to me. :icon_smil

 

As of right now, I'm really just looking for people that are around my age. 2-4 years is probably the most I'd go in either direction.

I've heard that the older you get, the less the age gap matters. Once you start getting into your 20's and 30's, age probably isn't going to be as big of a deal.

 

For my friends (all 13-15 years old) i say no one over 18 because at this age, we shouldn't be dating people who are legal drinkers/drivers/voters. You can, but i just think it'd make more sense to date someone who you'd probably have more in common. But after 18? I think that the -7 x2 is a good rule....and after 40, who cares. Whoever you can get and is good to you, date. I don't really know if there even should be rules at all. But under 25? Defintely, although you think you might know a person, i think people can take advantage of you more easily in that period. But 25+ date who's good to you. Even if they're twice your age (after that, it gets creepy to think about so i can't imagine many people wanting to date someone over twice their age).


Oh and Dave, as for kissing that 26 year old? Totally cool. Whats give or take nine years anyway? lol (BTW may i recommend the song Rock Me by Liz Phair, quite funny how it depicts your situation almost exactly).

 

Proud has some excellent points although I would raise the magic age level to 21. Big age differences involving a partner under 21 can put the younger, less-experienced person in a dependency situation, allowing the older person to potentially take advantage of the younger person. The older guy will usually have more money, be mobile, have an apartment and be better connected (and experienced) than his younger counterpart.

Once the playing field is more equalized, age tends to become less of a factor than say physical and intellectual compatibility, shared hobbies and interests, etc.

There are a multitude of reasons why a partnership with a large age disparity can be attractive for the parties concerned. The older person could be consciously or subconsciously attempting to capture something he missed in younger days. The younger person could be looking for the father figure or older buddy that offers more appeal than friends his own age. Historically, there is a lot of evidence for age disparity in sexual relationships. See

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

or a nice article on disparity in general in partnerships and how that can affect the success or failure of a relationship.

http://members.aol.com/slevay/page23.html

I don’t have enough personal experience to judge what’s ok in terms of age difference but I can verify that all the differences and the societal stigma get thrown out the window when you really love someone. As long as the partners are of legal age, the “rules” become very secondary. With only about 7 months of “gay” experience under my belt, I’m currently learning quite a bit from 3 more-experienced guys, two of them aged 22 and one aged 28. As far as I’m concerned, I have yet to encounter a generation gap. In the end, it comes down to whether you feel comfortable with someone. As Proud mentioned, when it starts feeling “creepy”, the age difference is probably too big.

 

I dont really watch the age rule, i just date guys that i like and have stuff in common with, i usually date into the 20's, i like mature men.

 

It would totally depend. Someone mentioned that someone younger than 21 would have a big disadvantage compared to people 21+ but really, that's not always true. You could have a 21yo living at home and going to university and an 18yo who lives on their own and works full-time, in which case I would say the 18yo might well have the advantage.

That's the reverse of the Cougar Age... i.e. if you date someone younger than half your age plus 7, you're a cougar. I.e. if you're 32, your cougar age is 32/2 + 7 = 23, so if you date anyone under 23, you're a cougar.

The funny corollary is that if you're a hockey player, the formula is just half your age. :lol:

Well I can only speak from my experience but when I was 21 my first real actual boyfriend was 29 and I personally thought it was great. And surprisingly at the time, he turned out to be more immature than me in terms of knowing how to deal with relationships. That was quite a shock--I kept assuming that at 29 one would know what was and was not appropriate and then found out that no, someone's age doesn't always indicate how socially able they'll be.

To me, around the late teens the whole "appropriate age" thing tends to get a little blurry, especially if we're talking about the older party being in their 20s. I mean, granted at 18 I was a lot more naive than I was at 21 but I can completely buy that other people at 18 could be as "together" as I was at 21. But even then, I think I could have dated my ex-boyfriend when I was 18--it's just that I wasn't out yet.

I think the degree to which one is out can (not does necessarily but definitely can) make a big difference in queer relationships, too. For example, my relationship at 21 with my then-29yo boyfriend was his first relationship with a guy, too, and I think he'd maybe had 1 or 2 others with women before that, so in that respect we weren't completely in different worlds.

Of course, I met someone when I was 26 who I became involved with who was 20 years older than me, which given that he is literally old enough to be my father (quite comfortably) would have previously made me feel weird but really, being with him felt nothing like being with a father figure, so at the end of the day it didn't feel that weird. I don't think going by what "feels weird" is necessarily such a great policy unless someone has REALLY interrogated their feelings enough to know whether the weird feeling is very genuinely their own or just a background default.

At the end of hte day, I think you have to look at the motivations for the relationship. If you have a younger person who HAS to be with someone significantly older and deliberately seeks that out or an older person who HAS to be with someone significantly younger and deliberately seeks that out, that to me is where I would start asking questions. That is, when all your potential partners' differences in age/life experience from yours becomes the defining feature of your attraction to them, that to me seems unhealthy. Or maybe "unhealthy" isn't the right word... immature? It just seems like it's a bit unbalanced (in the sense of weighted incorrectly, not mentally unstable).

If people happen to stumble into relationships with people who are quite different in age and/or life stage/experience, I'm like, "Cool." If they deliberately go out looking for those kinds of relationships, I begin to ask, "What issue is this symbolic of?"

Being with my friend who is 20 years older than me "feels," to me, like being with my other friends who are closer to me in age. That is, he treats me like an equal, not a child, and I treat him like an equal, not a parent. Ironically, I have a friend who is only 2 years older than me who occasionally treats me like her little brother or child, so you begin to see how flexy the concept of "age" can be.

But as I think someone else said, if you think he's hot and you're into him and he's into you, go for it! Life is WAY too short to psychoanalyse everything to the point of paralysis. Carpe diem! And carpe boyem! Or guyem. Or... whatever, you get the idea.

 

hehe

Well...Dave knows my age so he can do the math...

(I'm not gonna go there!)

 

*Slap*...
(Naughty boy:lol

 

VIRTUAL BITCH FIGHT!!!!
lmao:lol:

 

TBH, I don't think age matters, if you like the guy and he is OK looking, it should be cool.

Like what would be wrong with some 29 year old guy going out with me. Like I can do sex stuff, and people say I'm very mature for my age, and I read a lot, and I can talk about heaps of things. And like I'm not talking about that guy I met at the bus stop, but say I met one of you older guys, and we liked each other. Why would that be wrong?

 

Anderson Cooper is 39, I'll date him. Only 19 years older.

 

Oooh - I'm nearly in with a chance at 42 then. I'm not as grey as Anderson either (in fact I'm not grey at all, though it is receding).

As for how old I would date - I tend to be attracted to somewhat younger guys than me, so I couldn't really see me dating anyone my own age. Age range I'm attracted to is early 20s to early 30s mainly - though I realise the chances of anyone in that age range being attracted to me or anyone my age is fairly slim.

 

I dont know why we obsess about ages and stuff...I agree that 13 year olds shouldnt be dating 42 year olds and stuff like that...but a number is just a number you know...lol...just get over it...

 

Yeah, Anderson Cooper is the oldest I would date too. 24 years? That's not creepy. In the least. Oh well.

 

Hmmm...I would date Ben Browder, who's 43...so 27 years...yeah, just a tad creepy.