No clue until later in adulthood?

I also figured it out just recently that I am gay. In fact I recently realized that it's been a year now.

For me, it was a crush on a girl that did it. I believe I had an internalized homophobia. That was why being gay wasn't even an option, in an unconscious way. Growing up, I was fed the idea that gays were strange, weird, wanting to be different, wanting to call attention to themselves. And I wasn't like that at all. Well, maybe I was a little weird, but all I really wanted was to be normal.

Through many experiences of understanding the lgbt community, I believe the homophobia finally went away, and this opened the door to the big crush that changed my life. It was on a girl. At first I was like wtf!? What is this!? I don't get crushes on girls! But I could not deny that I was crazy about her. As it all sunk in, everything began to make sense. I really had always felt different. It was just that I didn't WANT to feel different, so I probably didn't even want to admit to myself that I felt different. I couldn't see me being gay as an option, so I got crushes on boys, just like I thought I was supposed to. But once I got these feelings for this girl, so many things made sense, and I actually felt good about myself in ways I never had before. My perceptions changed. I felt no attraction whatsoever for men. I could only see myself with a woman.

 

Fascinating, cause I'm feeling the same way. I mean, the world seems brighter, the colors seem sharper and I feel like I'm home and comfortable with myself in a way I never have before.

 

I had no idea that I might be bisexual, but my experience was different than other bisexuals. When I was a teenager I had no sexual desire for boys but only for girls, so I assumed that I was a lesbian. Then last year at 26 I started a romantic and sexual relationship with a long time male friend. The thing is, I still am physically attracted to women in general and not attracted to men in general. I was totally blindsided by this at the time, no clue this would happen. Two yrs ago if someone had said I'd be in a fulfilling relationship with a guy I would've said they were crazy, that just wasn't me. It still feels weird at times, and still don't know exactly why. A therapist told me that my sexually probably didn't actually changed, but it was more that I put myself in a situation where I realized what my true sexuality was. If that's true then I'm like a 98/2% bisexual.