Never having a kid

True. All women do not want children.

As for Tightrope's sentence about the desire to have children ending a relationship, shouldn't it? That is a huge thing to disagree on. I'll end here because I don't want to derail the the thread.

Beware Of You, I think that love and support matter way more than being biologically related to your child. There are plenty of options for you to have children including adoption and surrogacy. If you love and care for that child, you are the child's father no matter what some stupid test says. Personally, I consider a parent someone that loves, supports, and takes care of their child. They want the best for their child and will put the child first. It doesn't matter what the DNA test says.

Also, just because you're gay doesn't mean that you can't have a biological child. You and your partner could each have a child with a surrogate mother. Regardless, when it comes down to it, I think that the results of a DNA test don't really matter

 

Such a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing

 

It's not a 100% thing, but for many straight people, and especially women, having children is very important. I've known a few straight career women, or women who didn't have the patience and aptitude, who didn't want children. However, they are the exception rather than the rule.

 

Absolutely. They should part ways. It's a huge chasm that can't be bridged.

 

I looked into adopting, but it's hard. You have to have a good deal of money, and perfect credit, generally own a house, have a well-paying job...it was a lot more rigid that I thought. I know they want the kids in stable families, but I felt like I needed to be rich, or something, between the requirements and the legal costs.

 

I love the idea of adoption, regardless of being gay. I know several hetero couples who have adopted simply because the need is there. So many children and babies are in need of good homes around the world. Also, with the worlds population, I don't see an acute need to personally reproduce. My partner and I have discussed adopting when we're in our early 30s perhaps; and personally, I am extremely excited about the prospects and do not find myself feeling that I would have less love for the child because s/he is not a product of my semen (in fact, that scares me!).

 

Not true, and especially not true if you foster-to-adopt from the system. Here at least, the requirements are to be stable (you can be on govt aid) and have a home (renters are ok) and any medical conditions must be controlled.

It doesn't cost much, and if you F-to-A, the state will reimburse for any expenses. What happens is that as a foster parent the state pays you to care for the child, so its basically free, and you can be due licensed, meaning you can adopt the child if their parents lose custody. Foster parents are first in line to adopt when parental rights are terminated for the birth parents.
They match you as foster parents and you can say you want a child who will most likely be available for adoption.

its cheap if you go via the state. My partner and I have researched it and it is quite feasible.

 

I have similar anxiety about having kids, except mine revolves around the fact that I can. I still have the capacity to bear my own children, but I don't want to. I want someone else to have my kids, which is impossible unless I have the money to spend on a surrogate.

 

I would never understand people who think like this. :dry:

 

That's a pretty horrible thing to say.
If the child must be genetic in order for he/she to be considered as 'your child', I hope you don't end up with any.
I'd be concerned for the child.

 

The only reason I can see for gay people existing is population control and to be a helping hand... that is to take care of extra children, elders, or anyone that needs it.

If you can't naturally have the kid you want, it is just as natural to adopt one. A lot of animals will intentionally and unintentionally adopt others, it really isn't a strictly human thing.

Being gay means you are an extra adult, with extra resources, to help make up for those that can't or don't do their parenting properly.

I'm not gunna say the kid si still yours I understand the biological aspect you are struggling with, however if you want a natural reason to adopt, the above should explain that. You are here with the need to parents, and the means to do so, therefore it is only natural that you help out "humanity" and adopt another child. It still helps our species survive, it still is pro actively ensuring our species survival. You may not be adding to the population, but you are stopping our population from growing smaller.

Not saying children who don't get adopted die, but from a natural perspective, if a child had no parent without governments then that child would most likely die from starvation, exposure...etc. but if you come and take care of them, you are still giving a +1 to our species, you are still doing everything that natural parents do.

There is a reason to adopt, not just for love and a family, but to help keep the human race going, all of us need to do our part, and if you can't have kids, then you should take care of kids if you are so concerned with the continuation of our species.

Also, children can pick up personality and character traits of you, so they may not physically be you, they can be in the mind you can influence their development just as much as their paternal parents, you just don't dictate what they look like.

I think adopting is more noble then anything, you are dedicating yourself to HUMANITY< not yourself, wanting to raise your own child doesn't necessary help keep our speecies alive, but wanting to raise ANY child, means you are dedicated to our survival, and aren't going to let us loose another person. You are very much and very naturally aiding humanity.

Sorry I can't stress that enough, adoption is still helping ensure our survival and is just a proactive as procreating IF NOT MORE. Because non-adopted children would die in nature, they need an adult to care for them.

There are plenty of other animals that take care of non-blood related offspring and adopt, so why can't you as a human, it is a part of nature.


****

There are plenty of people I know that lack a mother or father figure, and had to substitute someone; sometimes non-blood related, to play that role. They have no bond or love with their paternal parents and have plenty of bonds and love with the people that cared for them.

 

See this is where alot of my bothers with being gay came from. Theres no real way to get rid of these feelings, but change your focus.

Instead of looking to the future and what could be, look at the now and enjoy being gay. Lifes too short to worry about the future, things change, all you can do is live in the now

 

You never know what could happen. My boyfriend is a few years older than me and has a four year old daughter with his former fiance. We had her all weekend, not even two weeks ago. Sure, it isn't stereotypical but I genuinely love and adore her. I never thought that I would ever want kids, or want to deal with them at all at such a young age, but like I said..you don't know. Don't be depressed about it. It'll happen when or if it is meant to.