Never having a kid

Thankfully, I prefer women, so this isn't a problem for me.

 

You can always have a surrogate mother for you and your partner. First of all, you need to get that silly idea out your head that you’ll never have a family.
Adoption is always an option. Even if biologically the child isn’t yours, you still get to bring up a child. That child will still carry your name. That child will call your “Dad” or “Father”.
If that’s not enough for you - if you need to have some genetic ties, then In Vetro pregnancies are readily available for any gay couple. You can get a surrogate mother who will be artificially inseminated. The child will be yours by right and blood.
Don’t be disheartened, mate.

 

You can have that...why wouldn't you think you could?

Surrogacy, IVF, there are sooo many options. Of course those are expensive.

Even if you took the "cheaper" way out and adopted form the state, that will still be your baby. You could go cheaper and do insemination (via lab or the old fashion way) into a girl and have her sign papers turning over all parental rights.

There are a variety of options. Soo many.You can have that. This is assuming you are biologically male. (your prof says genderqueer)

If you are biologically female.... Insemination is $300 to $500 if you want to do it via a fertility clinic. its free the other way.

I think IVF and surrogacy are the only expensive options. Also private adoption can cost. Adoption from the state is cheaper and they sometime reimburse for the cost.

 

You could share with a surrogate mother. And the other thing is, dude, if you adopt the kid will TOTALLY be yours!!!

 

There are many options out there for us! Don't get discouraged! For all you know, that kid might be someone else's (say, they had to get a sperm donor....just go with me here!)

Being gay is only a lonely time if you let it!

 

I never understood why have someone with the same genes as you matters I'm sure adoption can be just as rewarding. And it is your kid as you look after them.

 

My husband and I are going to adopt in a couple of years, already started the process rolling by contacting the council who are sending us out information, then we'll maybe call them or organise a meeting to see what we have to do.

My view is there are kids out there right now who do not have loving parents, and they're in need of a stable home. If we can offer that it doesn't matter if they're genetically related, they'll still be our kids.

 

When I think of who I am I can normally date them back to something to do with how I was raised or something that happens to me. If I lived in another country and was raised by different people I would be unreasonable from who I am now.

So I think when you adopt that child will be yours, no less so than if it was your child biologically. It's my belief that raising a child makes you a parent, not just being related from them.

Hope this helps : )

 

Please, if this is the case, NEVER adopt if you can't be a true parent to them.

 

why people obsess over blood i'll never know. human nature is my only guess. i love the thought of raising children to let that get in the way.

i am in no why condemning you for feeling down. there, there.

 

I've actually considered not having children, because I wouldn't want to let them grow up with a mother that is always sick, leaving the other parent with having to take care of them. I have crohn's disease, and there's no way to know, if and how, often I'll be plagued with flare ups in the future. But if I have a least a couple of years without a very bad flare, I might go for it.

 

I can see how this would trigger all these doubts, but parenting isn't just "owning" someone who looks like a younger you. Defeatism will never put you in a position for your goals either. People don't want a partner who breaks down and whines about being gay and never having kids. Sorry that's harsh, but talking of a lonely existence...sounds self-fulfilling.

Get in a position where you could possibly be ready for such a responsibility and then worry about it.

 

Societies the world over link being a complete person with having children and rearing them.

I say "bunk." Society doesn't have to raise them day in and day out, in a possible dysfunctional couple, and dole out the money for them. I have never looked at not partaking as being a deficiency. I'm glad, actually relieved, I have avoided this ritual.

Even today, it's on everyone's minds, especially women's minds. I've seen situations where a guy not wanting kids and a woman wanting kids is what pulled relationships apart.

I can't go in for a haircut without "do you have children?" being one of the first questions a lady hair cutter asks me. It just happened this Sunday. I just made a circle with my fingers to indicate zero, and said "I don't like them." She changed the subject.

 

I know this may not make you feel that much better, but adoptive families are real and feel real. My cousin was adopted at 8 months (kinda late for an international adoption), and besides the fact that he's Asian and his parents aren't, you'd never know the difference (he just turned 6). Read about gay families, it might make you a little more hopeful. All is not lost, I think that the sheer fact you are even thinking of wanting kids is great. A lot of gay guys your age never even think about that.

 

If you are really that concerned about the genetic part, maybe you can co-parent with a lesbian

 

There's the ideas others said. Personally, I'm getting over the fact that I'll never have genetic kids of my own. But hey, adoption is always an option.

 

Plenty of male "baby trap" types out there. The "all women want children" thing, hopefully, is a stereotype. ...Unless I'm wrong about that?

 

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/28/we-found-our-son-in-the-subway/?_r=0

Is this a traditional family? No. But is this a family built on love raising their kid to be a good man? Absolutely. And that's all you need.