my coach.....

wow....that just blows. You've got great advice in the above posts. It takes plenty of courage to stand up against discrimination of any kind. Good luck.

 

At this point if you take you any action you need to have some record of it in writing. There is evidence that you spoke to the coach before your demotion (the thread you posted at EC), so print that out as well. Personally, I think you might regret it in the future if you don't take a stand on this, but that's easy for me to sit here and say.

The flip side of taking a stand is that your life in the short term may get worse. You could face discrimination, getting beat up, vandalism, etc. You may not be ready to come out yet. Kids will talk. A lot for a 15 year old to think about! I wish you luck; you have already been very brave! keep us posted

 

Seriously, you already have grounds to act. He should have been able to give you a reason the first time you asked. Coming up with a reason after the fact is not the same at all. He has been using the word "faggot," a lot. He could probably be fired just for that.

From his perspective, he is obviously really uncomfortable with gay people, and he may feel that you will be better off with the other coach. Maybe he doesn't know how to coach if he can't call his players "fags." (That's kind of sad, really.) But since the two teams are not equal, demoting you obviously does you an injustice. It's wrong to demote you just because he's uncomfortable.

Please tell your parents what is going on. They really can help. Since you are already out to them, there's no reason not to ask them for help. Aren't they going to find out you've been demoted anyway? Won't they want to know why?

What do your teammates feel about all this? I think it's likely that, if questioned about it, at least some of your teammates would corroborate your story that he's been using the word "faggot" and so forth. Even if they've all been participating, they will be bothered by their consciences if they have to lie. Ask them why they think you've been demoted. You played with them last year, right? Some of them will not feel okay about this.

You do not have to accept defeat. Go talk to your GSA. Talk to your principal, who supports the GSA. Tell your parents. Tell all your friends, so that it becomes the talk of the school.

What your coach is doing is not allowed. You already asked him once why he demoted you--this time do it in writing. If you don't have an email address for him, print it out on paper--and do include your suspicion that he had demoted you because you are gay. Give a copy to a supportive adult at school, and make sure it is dated. You want there to be records.

Don't just tolerate this. Things like this continue because they are tolerated. Print out both of your threads from here and go to the principal of your school--really!

 

another important point to remember

 

Biggest bullshit answer. Sorry for the language, but I would still at least go on record that you were asked to "lead the younger kids" so as to prevent this happening next year. I would still try to fight it though.

 

That's another bullshit answer from him. Leading younger kids is not the purpose of a high school player; it's the job of a coach. He still hasn't said that you aren't qualified to play varsity. He just doesn't want you on his team. And we all know why.

I don't think your administrator would like it if you went to the local news media with this bullshit. It's very obvious what was done to you, and why it was done to you. It's making you reconsider playing baseball, a game that you love and that you are good at.

It's obviously up to you how to proceed, whether to talk to this administrator, or have a talk with your parents. Have you ever read the site outsports.com? If not, take a look at it. It will provide a lot of support and maybe give you some ideas.

 

:eusa_clapI applaud you for staying strong:eusa_clap

I agree that his answer is crap, and unfortunately it is difficult to work against; I like the idea presented below.

Can you try talking to your new coach at all?

---------- Post added 24th Mar 2011 at 11:16 PM ----------

idea presented above* lol, I'm not phycic

 

The power of the media is incredible, and, if things went that way, it would surely bring him hell.

You should talk with an administrator/administration and describe the course of events leading up to your demotions and your suspicions that it may have been due to you being gay. Also, bringing up how he and the team are using the word "faggot" and refusing to stop is big. If an administrator shrugs it off, talk to someone else, even the school board. At least one person is bound to listen and look further into it.

HOWEVER

He could be a semi-decent guy, just worried about his team being distracted and possibly jeopardized due to the fact that someone gay is working with them. In that case, you should tell someone about the team. They may be able to do more with students.

 

Talk to your AD. Talk to your high school principal. HELL, take it to your Superintendent. Raise holy cane.

He can't pull that shit and expect to get away from that. And if no one does anything, call your local news stations. They'll blow the lid off of the story. Any school would not want to risk that.

As for the guys on your team, if they threaten you. Call the cops. Same thing if they start following you. And for extra protection make sure someone walks with you whenever you're going somewhere. Like if you're walking to your car (or your mom's car). That way they can't ambush you or something. They're not going to want to chance a witness getting away.


I want to congratulate you on being so strong, this is truly a messed up situation.

 

I think that Chip has exactly the right idea here. Send your coach an email saying that you want to encourage tolerance among the younger kids, openmindedness about gay players, etc, and see what happens. If he writes back with anything homophobic, then you've got all the evidence you need, in print. It's vital to get it written down!

Good luck to you!

 

That's very messed up.

Are you trying to get a scholarship for baseball? If not, then on one hand it might be fun to be on JV and be a star. It seems like there's a couple ways you could deal with him. On JV you could still get better, and play so well that spectators wonder why you're on JV at all. And you'd have a better coach.

On the other hand, its still very messed up. Maybe you could talk to a school counselor.. they might have experience and know the best way to deal with him, specific to your school.

 

Welcome to the Margins man. Fight it, don't let this aggression stand!

 

I hope you fight this thing and not let the coach win. Ya, its a tough battle, but it counts. Bring in the ACLU if you want. Let them decide if you have a case or not.

Either way, I found this today and thought it was pretty cool. He is of course not the only athlete to come out, but most of them come out after they retire. He is just starting.

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2011/03/2...-players-in-the-closet-should-give-me-a-call/