1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My Biggest Fear

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Soundofmusic, Aug 16, 2017.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 2 of 2
  1. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Actually, this might work. I definitely feel comfortable bringing it up with most of them, so I just have to find the right time to bring it up and mention that it's in a self-help effort. And they know I appreciate honesty above all else.

    I think that's why I played the straight card for so long as well. Now I'm beginning to embrace that I'm different. They just tend to bring up how I'm "weird" a lot but I can't tell if they find it endearing or not lol. Oh well...

    Funnily enough, I do this a lot. I keep a bullet journal and I make lists about EVERYTHING because I'm mostly self-aware and like writing stuff down to clear my mind. The mirror thing I need to try though. Thank you!
     
    #21 Soundofmusic, Aug 17, 2017
  2. RJay

    RJay
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    932
    Likes Received:
    1,361
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Yeah, I mean, just cause it worked for me doesn't mean I recommend it necessarily. Only you know who you could have that openness with. But, I do totally relate to the fear of making a fool of myself. I have always had a habit of apologizing after talking to friends. Like, "sorry to lay all that on you," or "sorry to talk your ear off," stuff like that. I'm trying to not do that anymore!
     
    #22 RJay, Aug 17, 2017
  3. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    :frowning2: is it because you're married or because of your parents/siblings/etc?
     
    #23 Soundofmusic, Aug 17, 2017
  4. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't date because before I came out, I obviously only tried with men and that was just not working for me. Not many men would show interest and when they did, I wasn't interested in them further than for like, kissing. My longest relationship was 3 months and the minute I met a girl I liked, I ghosted him. whoops.

    Now, it's been almost 3 years since I first came out to myself and I have been on a couple of dates with women after meeting them on dating apps but that sort of thing is really stressful for me. And I haven't met anyone in person that has peaked my interest since my "trigger". I find celebs attractive and random straight girls I know but I haven't met any bi/lesbian women that I have clicked with, and it's like I'm blind to them idk... Like Ive mentioned before though, I am trying to get exposed to different types of people and groups to expose myself to meeting new people.

    That's kind of why I bring it up, I guess. Because if I don't, my friends forget, or act like they do, and then they start pushing men toward me. According to my cousin, who has been out for years now, making sure people are aware of it increases my chances of meeting someone.
     
    #24 Soundofmusic, Aug 17, 2017
  5. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm sure that it would be liberating. I wish I could let them know. It would be a huge pressure off my back. But yeah, it'd be hard. Maybe someday.

    I apologize too! I will also try not to do so.
     
    #25 Soundofmusic, Aug 17, 2017
  6. silverhalo

    silverhalo
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,698
    Likes Received:
    3,723
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I totally get all of that. Someone may have suggested it before but are there any meet up groups or LGBT help groups or centres around that you could go to to try and meet more people, whether they turn out to be friends or more.
     
    #26 silverhalo, Aug 17, 2017
  7. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Not where I live! BUT, I live in a very gay neighborhood, so I'm making an effort to get better acquainted with my neighbors. I also, as mentioned before, signed up for acting classes (they start next week) and I know that there tends to me more LGBT people in the arts, so hopefully that will help as well. I guess I just need to be patient and meanwhile, work on my self-esteem and my fears.

    Thanks :slight_smile:
     
    #27 Soundofmusic, Aug 17, 2017
  8. greatwhale

    greatwhale
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    One of the biggest mistakes modern humanity engages in is our impoverished concept of the self. It is the fundamental confusion between the abbreviating symbols we use do describe who we are to each other such as: our names, the social roles we play, the titles we take on at work, etc. - with who we really are, which is much richer and more complex than any symbol we could use to describe us! You have to realize that it's all an act! We become who we play at being!!

    As the poet Walt Whitman would say: we contain multitudes! The "self", such as it is, is like that bunch of clowns that emerge out of those little cars in a three-ring circus...

    So which of your many selves is being made a fool of? Is it yourself, or your concept of yourself? Maybe "The Fool" is precisely the one "self" whose voice you most urgently need to hear!
     
    #28 greatwhale, Aug 17, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2017
    SquareBiz likes this.
  9. silverhalo

    silverhalo
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,698
    Likes Received:
    3,723
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well it sounds like a great plan, I wish you luck. You will get there.
     
    #29 silverhalo, Aug 17, 2017
  10. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Amazing perspective! I will give this some thought.
     
    #30 Soundofmusic, Aug 18, 2017
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 2 of 2