Is sexuality fixed from birth or does it change later in life?

Agree with this. In an ideal world, everybody should be comfortable with their own sexuality. But we don't live in an ideal world, and relationships involve managing your own and somebody else's emotions. I'm specifically thinking about myself here, as a bisexual woman in a straight relationship. If things were different, my sexuality could be a problem. Thankfully its not a problem. But if I ever felt like seeing a professional to help control my thoughts & desires for women, I don't think that should be anyone's business but my own. Free will and voluntary action is the only basis on which I'd defend anyone's right to see a therapist, and if anyone forces somebody into doing it then they should go to jail.

 

I've had times where I've been questioning about my sexuality, you can see from my old posts on here. I was 16 when I first posted on here, just a kid really. But I was never in despair or anxious about what it meant. For me, my questioning was more like "OK, I am feeling things I didn't expect to feel, and I want to know why that is, so lets go find some information by talking to people who know more than me". I've always been head strong and not someone that can be pushed around and never really felt boxed in by society. Sorry you're not happy with things, I don't really know what to suggest if you're unhappy. Physically I have always pushed my body to the limit in sport and I think that has created a lot of mental toughness.

I honestly don't know the answer to any of those questions. If changing sexual orientation was easy then it would be common, and if it were common then sexual orientation would probably be a non-issue. Some guys, there are a lot on here, they seemed to lose their attraction to women as they gained an attraction to other guys. I never lost my attraction to guys, I just gained an attraction to women. I have no idea what would cause someone to lose an attraction they previously had but it seems pretty common. My own attraction to women didn't just dawn on me one day, it kinda built up gradually. I definitely didn't choose it though. I'm definitely not saying that sexuality is a concious choice but I do think experiences have an effect. If you are open minded enough to do something in the first place, you can probably learn to enjoy anything that's pleasurable and then maybe your brain creates the attraction in order to drive you to seek more? That's the most logical reason I can think of to explain my own journey. The brain causes feelings in us all the time in order to behave in a way that is self-preserving, and having close bonds with people is definitely going to help that.

It's people that force other people to do things they don't want that should go to jail. I'm not sure any of those rules should apply to someone who is acting voluntarily. Therapy is like medicine/drugs - they have effects which can be both positive and harmful, and you don't know til you try. That's why doctors need to explain the benefits & risks and gain informed consent before proceeding.

 

I agree with this. I definitely think it’s equally possible to argue that someone’s sexuality changed as it is that they just discovered a new aspect of themselves. I don’t think either interpretation is wrong and it’s up to the individual. I go back and forth a lot on which one “fits” me. I definitely am aware that I made conscious choices to explore my sexuality that no doubt have impacted how I feel about my sexuality now. I didn’t have any obvious “signs” I was gay before but I think it’s possible some of them were subtle enough I could have been interpreting them as pointing to something different. Everyone comes to their own conclusions and should be allowed to do that, but what I think we should be trying to prevent is attaching any shame towards however someone may identify and how they arrived at that identity.

 

Yeah its a pretty good compromise.

I think there’s be a lot less fully straight people around if there wasn’t a stigma towards same-sex experimentation.

 

The underlined bit really resonates with me. While I wouldn’t say I intentionally started exploring these things, once I realised there might be more to life than boys I freely chose to find out more. I could have ran away from that experience and tried to forget all about it.

 

I definitely think there probably a good number of people who feel this way; more than prob admit to it because it goes against common rhetoric regarding sexuality. I definitely think imho sexuality can be a choice in terms of what we want to do and how we act on it, but at the same time I don’t agree with people who feel that there is “one” right sexuality for people to be.