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Is it right to defend gay people while still being in the closet?

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by KyleD, Mar 20, 2014.

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  1. Austin

    Austin
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    No you're a terrible hypocrite!!!

    jk... of course its fine... seriously.
     
    #21 Austin, Mar 22, 2014
  2. Kasey

    Kasey
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    Even if you don't want to come out, what is wrong with being an ally of any kind?
     
    #22 Kasey, Mar 22, 2014
  3. wolfxinxchains

    wolfxinxchains
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    I don't see why it would be wrong, it could maybe even help you figure out to come out to if and when you decide to
     
    #23 wolfxinxchains, Mar 23, 2014
  4. resu

    resu
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    I think defending others is a good way to build up your own courage and overcome fear of being outed. If someone asks if you're gay, you should say it doesn't matter what your orientation is. Homophobia is something that has to be learned, and so it can only be unlearned if people speak up against it.
     
    #24 resu, Mar 23, 2014
  5. apostrophied

    apostrophied
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    No, it's absolutely unacceptable, you should be a raging homophobe! :wink: Just kidding, why would it be wrong? If you don't want to be outed, just don't bring it up all the time. But if the topic comes up and you have something to say about it, I don't see why you shouldn't say something.
     
    #25 apostrophied, Mar 23, 2014
  6. Kaabool

    Kaabool Guest

    My dad used to say gays should be taken to an island, and then since they don't breed they'll disappear. Beats forced extermination I guess xD.

    Well, I do think that you have to be ready that if you do defend gay people, most will question wither you are gay your self. And if you are not ready to say yes I am, and say no you are not (makes your closet more depressing), then come out later, it will be a bit awkward I guess. If you are not ready to take the heat of people thinking you are gay, I'd say don't make much of a fuss about it - yet.
     
    #26 Kaabool, Mar 23, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2014
  7. KyleD

    KyleD
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    I get that it's the right and courageous thing to do but if anyone asks me if I am gay and I say no because I am not ready to come out yet then I will feel terrible.
     
    #27 KyleD, Mar 24, 2014
  8. Kaabool

    Kaabool Guest

    I personally agree, so try to build up courage first to be open about being gay, because only then I think will you be confident in defending being gay. If you say nothings wrong with it but you deny being gay, there is a sense of shame in it as far as I personally feel about that (Which is ok, but as you said you'll feel terrible).

    And people say all kind of things about things they have no visible tangible realization of, all my friends and family changed quiet a lot about how they discuss gayness ever since I came out...in-front of me anyways....:wink:. Some even apologized for the hurtful stuff they might have said, some did stop socializing with me though..so be prepared! Good luck.
     
    #28 Kaabool, Mar 24, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 24, 2014
  9. GreyPundit

    GreyPundit
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    Seriously. The defense of any subset of humanity is the defense of humanity; it's the subsets that must be disposed of.
     
    #29 GreyPundit, Mar 25, 2014
  10. BelleFromHell

    BelleFromHell
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    I didn't even fully acknowledge that I was a lesbian until I was 16 and I started defending LGBTQ rights LONG before then.
     
    #30 BelleFromHell, Mar 25, 2014
  11. Theron

    Theron
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    If you feel safer identifying as an ally instead of coming out for now, then do what you feel is best for your health and safety.
     
    #31 Theron, Mar 26, 2014
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