Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by junebug99, Oct 7, 2017.
I hope so.
As I tell others. Beauty fades. It's best to find someone who has qualities that don't fade and values the same.
I was listening to a book the other day, that was explaining how people who are comfortable with themselves don't feel the need to criticize others. The person who comments about the size of someone else's butt, is insecure about their own. Pointing out or judging others who are "worse" often is a way to feel better about themselves. Likewise people who make comments about looking feminine enough or too tomboyish, probably are insecure about their own femininity or masculinity. Probably steeped in their own fears of being unlovable. So bare that in mind. When they make comments, it's more of a reflection of them than of you.
Yep totally agree not worth bothering with if they don’t like you for who you are!!!
I personally am quite femme but my I find tattoos and short hair so attractive.
As everyone else has said be yourself, you're amazing as you are no matter what others think. I know it's hurtful when your parents or anyone you care about doesn't like the way you dress but really it's not their choice and I'm pretty sure they love you no matter what.
Junebug,you sound like you have a strong sense of self, and that's beautiful.
Myself, I'm pretty butch and my girlfriend thinks that's sexy. Go get it girl, you're going to be loved for who you are
Thank you! I do have a strong sense of self. And I usually don't give a crap what anyone thinks of my style.
No such thing, I’m very attracted to tomboyish women. I also am so myself, kinda I guess? I never thought to catergorize myself but after reading this thread I realize I have gotten comments about my masculinity over the years. The worst ones are from my mom. Ages ago after a haircut she was very angry with me, she said: “are you trying to look gay, because no daughter of mine is gay!” This was long before I knew. It wasn’t the first overly emotional response based on my appearance. I get similar reactions for letting my hair gray, hair dye gives me migraines etc so I stay natural. So many people resent that, especially the older woman at work. One even told me you are pretty and you would look so much better if you would dye your hair, it ages you horribly. Ummmmm, fuck that....what gives her the right. This is all weird to me because my appearance has always been practical, simple and me....
My daughter recently said that I should grow my hair out because I “look like a dude”. She said it nicely and it was in context because we were talking about hair appointments. That was just a funny moment....
My Mom is the same way. I would never say that to her. But she seems to think its ok to say to me. I usually get defensive with her and then she shuts up.
I don’t have much contact with my mom anymore, so it’s not much of a worry now I guess. When I do talk to her I’m full armor so it really just bounces off now.
Wow. What's up with these people/mothers?! What ever happened to:
"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." ?
I think I'd start reminding them of this if it were me.
I do. But she does it anyway. She just bugged me about it the other day.
My mom has never subscribed to that philosophy and probably never will.
Geez! Who needs that? I'd tell them to get used to it, then. It's none of their business how you cut your hair. Why does anyone else care what you do? It doesn't affect them! I find it very strange that they're so worked up about it. When I first cut my hair short, my mom thought it was great and I only got compliments. When my sister and I were younger, my dad would, every once in a while, suggest we cut our hair short. We'd had short hair when we were little and he just thought it was cute. Neither of them ever said we had to look one way or the other.
I am glad to see all the love for short hair and tattoos; that means there is hope for me yet!!
@junebug99 Honestly, I don't think there is anything wrong with dressing in a style that suits you. I personally have a love for zipper hoodies and jeans. My friends think I look like a confused teenage boy, but I really don't care. I am not comfortable in much else and when I am uncomfortable in my clothing, that has a way of projecting into other areas of my life.
I am still trying to find my way and learn to deal with not caring what others think, but the first step in that process is being comfortable with myself.
I do. I shut her down right away. I like my look and I don't care if she does.
I'm totally comfortable with myself. Another tattoo on the way. And I can say with confidience that she will not like it. But I will do it anyways.
No such thing as too much Tom boy. If that's what makes you comfortable, then fine.
I read a meme the other day that said:
'I used to be a huge Tom boy, but now I'm just a full grown lesbian.'
Made me laugh. Lol.
The funny thing is that she thinks people will mistake me for a lesbian. Always worried about what other people will think of me. I couldn't care less what other people think. I am who I am. And anyone that does not like me one doesn't know me at all. And two they are probably hiding from their own truth and don't have the courage to face it. I may not be the most beatiful girl but my soul is.
It also makes me wounder if people forget that everyone has feelings. But I guess they wouldn't care if someone hurt theirs. I just can't belive the nerve some people have. It would be nice if they minded their own business.
it makes me wonder too, what gives people the right. I will never understand how it is my mom always seemed to value appearance over me. I’m sure you are beautiful inside and out. People need to bite their tongues, cuz everything is attractive to someone, especially if it’s genuine and authentic xo