Invisible lesbian syndrome

Can I have some of your fashion sense lol! I wouldn't even know where to start.


I agree with some sort of "thing" what ever it may be that only LGBTQ can see. That would be cool, you don't have to wonder.

 

Right? Sigh. If only...

But honestly, Jinkx? And this is meant in no offense, seeing as I'm questioning/attracted to girls, too... but if that's you in your avatar picture, and I saw you in real life, I would definitely think that you were at least queer. I don't know, some girls tend to give off a more 'girl-friendly' vibe than others, you know? Whether it's by the way they dress or act, etc. And it seems like you'd probably be one of those girls, and that's a good thing! Well, it would be for me, haha.

 

whats wrong with a power dyke? lol

 

There is this book for the kindle, it was really good. The L Worlds. The main character is a power dyke but its good.

 

OMG!! Power dykes!!
<3<3<3
Gosh... I loooooooooooooove Rachel Maddow.
And if only Bette Potter were real... I'm still hoping Jennifer Beals would switch teams.

---------- Post added 19th Dec 2012 at 09:50 PM ----------

I kinda agree with her...
You set off my gaydar.
Then again, women can tell... Especially dykes... =P Also gay men.

For me some women have been able to notice it. Not right away, but even when I was in denial, I was pretty sure they thought I was gay. I didn't mind given that I'm not homophobic...
I think what has tipped off people the most is my lack of interest in men (as in the object of my lust). Then again, I'm very tomboy-ish.
Granola dyke here!

 

Yep. My gaydar seems to be really sensitive at times, it's crazy. But like I said, it's mostly the vibe I get when I'm around that person, especially when I look in their eyes. I don't know why that is, really, but it's what I feel.

Mhm, one of the things that really made me begin questioning was when I first started my current job almost two years ago, and I met this one girl who I became really good friends with. It was interesting because as the weeks went on, we of course became closer, just as friends and I didn't think it was anything unusual. We were just always around each other a lot. Apparently another older guy who was working there thought differently and asked my friend if were "together". Really? That was the last thing that crossed my mind :rolle: But was I giving off some kinda vibe?

The second thing was kind of more surprising. I ended up becoming best friends with this guy who worked there too, and a few months into our friendship we were sitting in his car at night talking about the first time we met each other. He just so happens to be gay and out (his whole family knows), and I was telling him how I basically knew that he was when I first saw him at work. But he also told me that he thought I might be gay when he met me! And then he asked me if I was. Talk about a shocker, I had never had anyone tell me that before. I didn't mind but it's kinda like "Wow, you thought I was gay? How? Why? :eek:" :lol:

 

I just go around doing this

 

As a fairly femme chick that's generally into fairly femme chicks, I've gotta agree. I don't want to compromise my comfort/style for the sake of being noticed by other gay girls, but it's frustrating when I so desperately want a girlfriend.

I did make an awesome rainbow bracelet for myself, but people don't tend to notice it. Even if I'm wearing it when I come out to them, they don't realize I have it on unless I point it out.

I'm totally fine once I start chatting with a girl, but I have a really hard time initiating a conversation.

And I have to agree with some of the other ladies, I'd guess you were gay if I saw you out and about. Maybe it's because I dated a chick with a mohawk, who knows.

 

I would suggest you be yourself and not hide in any way the fact you are are attracted to women. Say hi to them and allow yourself to be approachable. The one surefire way to not be seen as lesbian is to always hang out with the same guy. You say you are questioning your sexuality on the profile thingy. It is best to know ones self. You could wear a female female symbol as a necklace or bracelet as it makes a solid statement. Hugs

 

This is always a BIG problem for me, because other than my bff who lives on the opposite side of the country, all of my friends are guys. When I'm up at college, I spend all of my time with one guy in particular (who I've known since high school). I'm really open about my sexuality, but nobody would ever guess by looking at me.

 

I can see the problem for you, many people will automatically put you with your friend as a couple. The idea expressed here about the rainbow bracelet may be the answer to your problem. Attempting to be identifiable as a lesbian or a gay can be maddening. The only sure way is to wear the t-shirt that says I Like Girls Who Like Girls! :lol:
Thia of course me not be subtle enough for some. Good luck in getting spotted. Hugs

 

OMG!!! SO EFFING TRUE...
I think the easiest way for me to spot on Queer is walk, talk and how they seat.
That said, with masculine gay men and femenine lesbians or just people who pass easily... their eyes... GEEZUS... Their EYES... I don't know what it is. It like when it comes to Queers their eyes would shine in a different way. IDK... I can't really explain.
Definitely their eyes.

I know!! I think it's has to do a lot with how intuitive a person is. After all gaydar is about reading body language accurately.
I'm pretty sure one of my teachers in college thought I was gay (I was in denial back then). Her brother was gay, so she have had real contact with Queers. She always encourage her students and told them they can be anything. She used to say I'm a strong woman and the sort... but I remember that the last time we talked before she returned to US, she said that again. "You're a strong woman. You can do anything you want"... and IDK... at that point I knew she suspected me to be gay. She never said anything on the regard but it was just her whole vibe and the way she said it.

Also when a few people, especially women, have asked me if I had a man... I have said "No", if I didn't; but I guess my lack of interest in this stuff sort of tips me off.

---------- Post added 20th Dec 2012 at 05:46 PM ----------

Huh????!!! Doesn't this set people's gaydar off???
That'd defnitely make me wonder if a girl was really straight.
I personally have more female friends than male friends, but I get along with the later better. Why??? Because there's no sexual attraction, at least from my side.

So, yeah... Some lesbians tend to hang out with boys more often than girls... and some gay men tend to hang out with women more often than with girls.
Fag hags and Lezbros...


Also I have a closeted gay friend who always hangs out with me. He's has his quirks to the point he sets pretty much anyone's gaydar off... and I'm very tomboy-ish. Yet people have asked if we are a couple because we hang out a lot.
Heteronormalcy. People assume that given that he has this quirks and I'm a tomboy, then there's a "balance", therefore a relationship is possible.


Finally, try comments that make it obvious. At this point for me it's just sooo annoying to have to come out. So I throw little comments here and there: "Oliva Wilde is so hot... I totally have a crush on her"... Or "I love men... just not that way". Or "men have the wrong type of genitalia"... I mean, if people don't pick it up after those comments... I'd just think they're idiots.

 

Kay- I DO wear a rainbow bracelet (perhaps you didn't see my post before), but people rarely notice it.

Queen Bee-I am a REALLY open person, so coming out to people isn't a problem. I frequently make references to my sexuality, and have no issue whatsoever in setting people straight (no pun intended) if they ask if a friend and I are a couple. Most of the guys are also very vocal about it (in an affectionate way), so even if I didn't mention it, they probably would. My issue is more is being recognized by/ meeting other gay girls.

 

Yeeeah... about that. I just realized that I have a very bad habit of passionately denying any interest in having a boyfriend, especially when I'm asked by mother or any other family member/older adult. We're really close too (my mom and I), so sometimes it can be a little funny to have her 'investigating' me. :lol:

Token mother-daughter dating conversation:

Mom: So, Thieves... sweetie, have you found yourself a boyfriend?
Me: Oh, no, no, nooo! Nope. (continues doing what I was doing before like normal...)
Mom: Really? You don't want one? :eek:
Me: Not really. Too much drama.
Mom: I understand... You don't have any guys that have asked you out?
Me: Yeah, a few, but I just don't want a boyfriend. I'm way too picky.

Mind you, I've been saying the same thing since I was in high school. :lol: Anyway, I'm starting to think my mother might be onto me, seeing as I haven't had a boyfriend or had much interest in having a REAL one since I was a teenager. I really do sound indifferent when I talk about meeting men. I wonder what she'd say if I were 25 and was still saying the same thing?