I'm very embarrassed about Pride

It doesn't really have to do with the "assimilation train" and whatnot. I'm just not too fond of the usages of words like "disgrace to the LGBTQ community" and "degrading".

 

haha sorry if what i said sounded offensive. Now i feel pretty bad for posting that.

 

Don't feel bad, but lets talk about it.

You say that you want a pride where people wear what you want and what you approve off. Okay, but why? Is it because certain clothes will offend some people? If that is the case, then what about certain acts? Should PDA be allowed? Should holding hands be allowed, but not making out? Who is going to enforce all of these rules?

Its impossible to have a parade to tell someone how "proud you are of being yourself" and then have someone else tell you how exactly to be yourself. Granted if you are in the committee of your city's parade then you are welcomed to make it what you will

 

I think it's cool.

I know the history is rooted in serious protest, but the way I see it is pride isnt about displaying how 'normal' lgbt people are like "look we're just regular people!", its about celebrating being lgbt

- and even just love/sexuality in general in some ways.

Society has come along way in terms of social acceptability of sex, but it's still pretty repressed in alot of ways.

 

No need to feel bad. I do understand why some people are not too fond of Pride Parades, and I do think they generally have valid reasons.

I do however, prefer to avoid words like "disgrace" and whatnot, mostly because we end up essentially trying to cut ourselves from a very real part of the LGBT community that is composed of very colorful folks of all kinds of colors and personalities. Which isn't to say that we should all be friendly and get along, but that trying to create a wall between the groups would essentially be doing the same thing straight people are doing to us.

 

Come to NYC, we've got plenty of that going on!!

 

Instead of repressing people at pride parade it would better idea to complement it with activites, parades that insist in showing the more quiet, discreet side of gltb. I dont know, maybe a parade of cisgendered homosexual and bisexual + discreet non binaries and bi genders, everyone focusing on a message of " some of us dress in ways that shock you, some of us dress in a fashion that is considered normal" even when it doesnt matter how you dress it would be good idea to do activities that break stereotypes.

Why? Because its easier for people to accept cisgender homosexuals (or bisexuals). Thtqould be a first step that would make it easier for them to accept the transgenders, the non genders and everything else. I even suggest for transgender people to dress neutral gender just as a strategy for getting acceptance then as you get more acceptance you can gradually tone up your real identity.

Of course it requires a sacriface but it can help. (Am im if you are a FTM transgender youndont have to wear a pink dress just some no-gender cloth)

This would be particularly helpful in countries with medium to high homophobia.

 

The thing that seems to get consistently overlooked when this topic comes up ( because it seems to appear periodically, I'm assuming during 'Pride Season') is that straight people behave in all kinds of ways that easily match anything you are likely to see at Pride. But it's them, so of course they mostly just accept it.

The point has already been made that shirtless men are not uncommon anywhere it's warm enough to be so. So are straight women in bikinis and both genders grinding and dancing and whatnot in public places or clubs where all can see. Mardi Gras has also been mentioned. Then there's the city of Las Vegas...and TV commercials that use straight sex to sell things or even sell sex itself (what do you think a Viagra commercial is?). Etc. etc.

The point of Pride is to celebrate us, not make straight people happy (although a lot of them go in some places and presumably have a good time - which raises the question of just who these straights are that we're trying not to offend...).

When straights give up all their hundreds of sexual spectacles running 365 days a year Ill consider the idea that we should give up our one day a year.

Todd

 

Todd:

I don't like going through Las Vegas and seeing escort flyers with large black dots on private parts on the sidewalks, I've never been to Mardi Gras and wouldn't be interested, and I think that some of the things that reportedly happened, or happen, at Woodstock and Burning Man, presumably more straight than not, aren't that cool. It's not so much as it affects adults, but I prefer real young kids don't see any of these hi-jinks through the media and have to have them explained to them prematurely. Eventually, they'll need to hear it.

I can watch the effigy of the phallus in the parade as can other adults, some of whom will be indifferent, amused, or offended. I'd prefer that young children don't have to form an opinion that soom. But your point is taken. Kids might ask what Viagra and erectile dsyfunction is when they are 7 years old and see it on TV. I know I might have. I saw the word brothel in an article at that age and asked my parents "What's a brothel?" Not what you expect to hear from a young kid!

 

To echo what others have said, most of Pride events are tame, it's just that the media and certain people most likely chose to focus on certain aspects that may be a little more wild. I attended my first pride event this year and it truly was an empowering experience, not a sexual one.

Also, overt displays of heterosexuality are everywhere--music videos, superbowl, the majority of sitcoms and movies feature blatant sexuality (hetero), so if people in society need to get to know some LGBT people IRL and stop basing it off of a Pride event.

 

I fundamentally disagree with this point of view, and I have to wonder exactly how many people have either been to a Pride event or watched streaming coverage of one. The vast majority of people in the event and watching the event could blend in on any street in rural small town America. Most people would not give them a second glance.

Why does the media focus on the half-naked people, the drag queens, and the crazy costumes?

First, because the overwhelming number of people in the media are straight and likely believe that those are the "real gay people" - these are people who likely believe that every gay man loves shopping and comes out of the womb with an eye for fashion and the ability to style hair.

Second, because the more sensational and outrageous people they can find the higher their ratings are likely to be.

Now, some people might say, "Well that's all the more reason that everyone should come to pride events dressed up in conservative clothing, to show them just how normal we are!"

People who would say something like this or think like this have no idea what Pride is about... it's about celebrating who you are and the diversity of our community. It's not about hiding in the closet and trying to appear as non-threatening to heteronormative society. On the contrary it's to challenge heteronormative culture and break down the walls, and it's the most outrageous and most outlandish people who do that - it is not the people who conform to socially acceptable sexual and gender behavior. It's the drag queen who walks down the street, which sends the message, "Yes, that's right - I can be a man in a dress and the world keeps on spinning."

This is like telling women during the womens revolution where they were fighting for their rights, that they should all show up in a dress, and present themselves as "proper ladies". After all they wouldn't want to upset men by wearing pants, and if you come without wearing a bra you will not be allowed to participate at all.

It goes counter to what is trying to be achieved. It's about pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable behavior, and demanding equal rights for ALL people. By the way, the Pride events are not just open up to LGBT people - they're open to straight people as well who step outside of hetero and gender normativity. So this means if you're a straight woman who likes to dress super butch, then there is a place for you. If you're a straight man who likes to cross dress, there is a place for you, too.

I would even argue that there is a place in Pride for people who go against the socially acceptable form of beauty. I would love to see people out there saying "Fat is Beautiful" and "Black is Beautiful" - both things that our culture and society say ARE NOT beautiful.

Pride is about celebrating who you are as an individual person. You don't have to be half naked or a drag queen to show up, and that's true for the overwhelming majority of people at any Pride event. You don't even have to look like that to be in the event. In fact, the parade runs the gambit from the outlandish that the media likes to focus on to local businesses and church groups. Yes, that's right - there are church groups that support LGBT people marching in the parade. However, you won't see them getting equal time with the right wing fundamentalist Christians. Why? Because they go against the media narrative.

What I dislike the most is the root of this thinking - that people should aspire to be "normal" or that we should be ashamed or afraid of those who are not "normal". What is "normal"? People use that word as if it had some important value, and as if "normal" were synonymous with "good". Normal is nothing more than a statistical average. When we use the word normal we're saying, "The majority of people dress this way." Or "The majority of people act this way." Or "The majority of people identify this way." The logic after those statements does not automatically flow toward: "...and if you don't dress, act, or identify this way you are bad or undesirable because you deviate from the statistical average which we define as normal."

Is that what we are fighting for? Is that the world we want to live in? Absolutely not. We want a world where EVERYONE - INCLUDING those who are not "normal" - can find a place and find acceptance. The truth of the matter is no one is "normal" - and this is true for people who are straight and cis-gendered as well as LGBT people - because there is always going to be some aspect of who we are that stands outside of the mainstream of society. There is always going to be some aspect of ourselves that makes us different, that makes us unique, and Pride is about celebrating THAT which makes us different not which makes us the same.

It is the challenge of those of us who ARE the most "normal" (i.e. those who can pass easily in a society filled with heterosexual and cis-gendered privilege) to protect, to defend, and to embrace those of us who can not. Because when we fail to do that, we're not just rejecting them, we're rejecting part of ourselves - because we're creating a society where what makes us different is not accepted, either. We're helping create a society that says it is okay to discriminate, to fear, or to even hate those of us who do not conform to certain socially acceptable behaviors.

Oh, and by the way - there is nothing inherently more sexual in Pride than in any other straight celebration. If anything it's pretty tame by comparison. Just as one example, go to Mardi Gras and you'll find no shortage of straight women flashing their tits for straight guys, or guys whipping out their cocks to flash at women. It's one of the reasons groups like Girls Gone Wild go to such places - because it's Straight People Gone Wild.

Go to virtually any movie and turn to virtually any channel on TV and you're going to be bombarded with straight people having sex, wanting to have sex, or planning for ways to get to have sex. Even if your TV channel has NOTHING to do with sexuality, the commercials will. If you were an alien from outer space and came down you couldn't be blamed if you mistook straight people as sex-obsessed fiends simply based on how things are portrayed in the media.

Heaven forbid, though, a gay man walk down the street in a speedo - a bathing suit that would be perfectly acceptable at the pool or beach - because after all, dressing in a bathing suit clearly sends the wrong message. It's a good thing there is no such thing as bathing suit competitions where women dress in bikini's to be cheered and voted on by straight men... or something called Miss America... oh wait.

Oh goodness, I think I caught the vapors! Someone help me, I just realized straight people like sex just like gay people! Oh my goodness, I better run my ass over to church and pray! :rolle:

 

I just think it is really counterproductive how gay folks claim to be no different, and how being gay is normal, yet go out and participate in (often really gay) festivities to show their pride in something that what they claim to be really not that special. In turn it just differentiates them.

 

i have a question. how did u come out to ur parents? i havent yet and im really stressed i need some help. my mom and dad dont like gays. will they hate me too?

 

If I asked my mom what Viagra was (had it been around when I was a child) or what a brothel was, she probably would have just told me. In my family we generally don't believe in hiding things from children, whether good or bad. Innocence is just the act of romanticizing ignorance by and large. I learned virtually nothing new in sex education in school, for example.

For those who do prefer that the more adult things be offstage...I've seen several accounts of Pride that describe 'family friendly' areas or time periods when more adult things aren't happening. As has been mentioned, the media seem unlikely to cover that however or mention the differentiation.

Todd

---------- Post added 30th Jun 2013 at 01:01 PM ----------

Yeah! What he said :eusa_clap

Todd

 

i like pride [although i have no experience with it] exactly because it challenges the traditional

 

I've never been to one, but a year ago, a friend of mine went to a pride parade and took hundreds of pictures, that he then put up on Flickr. There was one part of the parade in which a man dressed in kinky leather clothing was taunting religious protesters. I was in two minds about seeing the pictures, because I agreed with the principle of the matter, but his attitude and appearance pretty much gave off the message that gay men are nothing but "sinful" perverts that want to go against the grain of society. Furthermore, a lot of people just looked like freaks in a circus. I'm rather conservatively-natured, so I don't care for things like this to begin with, but in ways, I think it makes the LGBT community look bad. There is nothing wrong with showing pride, but keep it dignified, not outlandish.

 

Hazzah! No one has posted the Harvey Fierstein video yet

[YOUTUBE]0_OQeA3GiRw[/YOUTUBE]

 

Hehe, actually, they have in other threads, slightly different context. (*hug*)

 

If only I had the confidence to go to pride
I think it's a great event like one big family, I have never been to one but I would imagine that the atmosphere is amazing where you can be who you are.
If I had the body for it then I would remove my t-shirt.