1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I will never accept straight dudes in my friend group.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Suspect13, Dec 25, 2023.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 3 of 3
  1. Rayland

    Rayland
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2021
    Messages:
    2,211
    Likes Received:
    1,683
    Location:
    Estonia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You could try to explain your feelings to your old group instead.

    Your plan can backfire and you could end up not having any friend group. Think this through.
     
    #41 Rayland, Jan 15, 2024
  2. Altanero

    Altanero
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2018
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    97
    Location:
    Spain
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    As they've told you before in this thread, I realize that maybe you're not here searching for advice, but looking for a place to shout all your anger. That's ok. I don't know you, I've never experienced what you've experienced with straight male bullies. You have the right to be angry... but think about what it may cost to your group of friends. Think about two things. First, your gay friends want to have those straight friends, and you could led them, by your actions, to get angry with you because you're trying to boycott this attempt of change. And second, those straight guys don't seem to be upset with gay people: in fact, they want to be with you. And think about who is prejudging gay people here as menaces, threatening, bothering, disgusting to straight men and using it as a "weapon" against them... just as, if I may say, straight bullies used to think about gay people and treat gay people.
     
    #42 Altanero, Jan 15, 2024
    Rayland likes this.
  3. staticinmyattic

    staticinmyattic
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2021
    Messages:
    230
    Likes Received:
    149
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I for one am going to take a break from giving you advice, pop a big bowl of hot buttery popcorn, and enjoy the fireworks show.

    I beg you, please tell us in excruciating detail how this goes.

    If you want to try advice mode again, I’ll switch up, but until then, I’ll join you in goblin mode. Can’t wait to hear some drama, thanks!
     
    #43 staticinmyattic, Jan 15, 2024
  4. Rayland

    Rayland
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2021
    Messages:
    2,211
    Likes Received:
    1,683
    Location:
    Estonia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey everyone,

    this thread will be closed and not open for furter replies, because it causes conflict and there is no advice asked here.

    Anyone who wants advice on how to deal with their fears regarding this or any other situation or seeking advice how to handle similar situation better is free to create a new thread. :slight_smile:
     
    #44 Rayland, Jan 15, 2024
    Chiroptera likes this.
  5. Chip

    Chip
    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,560
    Likes Received:
    4,758
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    There's something in the psychology field called "cultural encapsulation." This happens when we surround ourself with people who hold beliefs or have had similar experiences to those we've had. And cultural encapsulation is dangerous, because it causes us to believe that our tiny, encapsulated world actually, objectively mirrors the real world.

    It doesn't.

    You are making a whole bunch of completely unfounded generalizations that the slightest amount of research (or even observation outside of your culturally encapsulated world) would quickly prove false. But if you remain ensconced in this encapsulated world, all that will happen is you will continue to feed into your inaccurate and, frankly, ignorant beliefs.

    Yes, but "a lot" isn't by any means "the majority." And that's the cultural encapsulation I'm speaking of. All of those folks are wounded. But their wounds are no different than a man who has been raped by a gay man saying "All men are manipulative assholes and are untrustworthy." These folks need to do their work and heal. Otherwise, the anger is going to consume them, both in terms of mental health, and eventually, physical health.

    The difference is, most straight men are decent people and don't treat their gay brethren with bigotry and judgment.

    *Most* straight men in 2023, at least in North America and most other civilized countries, don't have any problems with gay men.

    You know what? You sound like a complete asshole. Be careful what you wish for... it may backfire in that your gay friends actually appreciate and embrace the straight guys in the group, figure out that you are simply a hopelessly judgmental, bigoted ass, and decide to reconvene without you.

    Seriously, dude. This is fucking ridiculous. You desperately need therapy so someone can help you process all this anger and trauma you have. You're going to live a pretty miserable life otherwise.
     
    #45 Chip, Jan 17, 2024
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2024
    Contented likes this.
Page 3 of 3
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.