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I think I'm turning a corner?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RJay, Aug 29, 2017.

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  1. NeonSocks

    NeonSocks
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    Note to self: don't read this thread while in a situation where laughing out loud will earn odd looks.
     
    #321 NeonSocks, Sep 5, 2017
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  2. RJay

    RJay
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    Noooooo, I don't wanna be my old self with her! I want to be OVER her completely. What do we all think are the chances I'll see her and feel just fine? Cause a week or two ago, I felt all clear-headed and accepting of the fact she's straight, but now just knowing she's around the corner, I'm starting up again with all the "maybe I can wear her down" stuff!!!

    As for the video... Hot. Milk of magnesia, hahahaha! Now I'm picturing joining V in the bath, though, thanks a lot. She loves to tell me about relaxing in her tub. Stupid stupid V. Could she really not know what she does to me? ARGH. I think I need to kid around with her when she does and says stupid stuff like that. I wish when she sent me the sexy shoe pictures I had said something like, "STOOOOOP! You are killing me!" or something like that. I think I will start doing that. Like next time she texts me about being in the bath, I'll say, "wish I was there." Haha. That would stop her. Hopefully.
     
    #322 RJay, Sep 5, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2017
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  3. NeonSocks

    NeonSocks
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    And why are you nervous? If anything, you seem to have become more confident in yourself in her absence so that should help.
     
    #323 NeonSocks, Sep 5, 2017
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  4. RJay

    RJay
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    Because I'm afraid it will all go out the window in her presence. I'll just start fawning all over her again and trying to get away with touching her, etc. UGHHHHH.

    I need to start messaging girls on the dating site that shall not be named. There are several attractive ones that have "liked" me, and one even messaged me who looks intriguing. Hmmmm. Don't know.
     
    #324 RJay, Sep 5, 2017
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  5. Moonsparkle

    Moonsparkle
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    Total resurfaced tangent here but I am just catching up on all the grammar lessons!

    Sort of having a flashback to 7th grade English class..
    Is ending with a preposition that whole 'dangling participle' thing? I seem to remember that phrase being kicked around a lot in that class....

    Oh, our gramatically-correct sassy selves probably WILL meet (though we won't know it's each other!). Because at some point we're all gonna end up in our muscle shirts at the much hyped lesbian bar that begins with C in NYC ! (or is it G???) :smile:

    **And THANK YOU to whoever threw out 'Average Winged Matchmaker'--24 hours later...TWENTY FOUR..I finally GET IT! Haha! DUH!
     
    #325 Moonsparkle, Sep 5, 2017
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  6. azzi

    azzi
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    :joy::joy::joy: if you didnt say that, i was gonna say strawberry milk tea :smile:
     
    #326 azzi, Sep 5, 2017
  7. leb10

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    Do it! Message those girs!

    I don't recall you mentioning V texting you about/while in a bath. Soooo- sorry for that re: kiykoko video. Don't listen to Girls Like Girls....

    But seriously, you're strong and have had some space to look at the situation with some distance. If she's flirting with you, call her out. Say something like "you're such a flirt, is this how you get all those big muscle-y guys?"
     
    #327 leb10, Sep 5, 2017
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  8. Moonsparkle

    Moonsparkle
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    Well, just a thought but wondering if you're nervous because you are scared to wreck up what you got goin' on right now by ending up all gaga over her again.

    I mean in V's absence you became friends with L, you visited other friends. AND you put yourself out there what with Average Winged Matchmaker and all! And people are LIKING you. You're on a good track right now....and it must feel good! So I can see the thought of NOOOOO GO AWAAAAAY feeling!

    (The thing is you can have her in your life AND all the other good stuff too--or I am pretty sure you can. It's just going to be a bit of a transition.)
     
    #328 Moonsparkle, Sep 5, 2017
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  9. Searching1

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    @RJay are you still planning on having a talk with her or "casually" brining up that you have a crush on her? It sounds like you want to be past the phase of hanging on hoping and wondering. Hopefully you're just building up seeing her and once you so you will feel more at ease.

    I hope the dating site goes well! Enjoy the messaging :wink: Have fun with it!
     
    #329 Searching1, Sep 5, 2017
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  10. Moonsparkle

    Moonsparkle
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    Nice! I love the suggestion of using this muscle guy line!

     
    #330 Moonsparkle, Sep 5, 2017
  11. Soundofmusic

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    Hard to catch up on all the gun you have all had but just wanted to say, good luck RJay! Im sure once you see her, things will flow. Again, youve got this!
     
    #331 Soundofmusic, Sep 5, 2017
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  12. zumbaqueen

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    Or while your drinking, I almost choked. Lol
     
    #332 zumbaqueen, Sep 5, 2017
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  13. junebug99

    junebug99
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    @RJay Yeah. Don't keep hoping and wondering. Just find a way to let her know how you feel. I'm sure the group of us will be able to assist with conversation starters.
     
    #333 junebug99, Sep 5, 2017
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  14. RJay

    RJay
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    Yes I have to get it out in the open. So either my coach's cute line, the line above about her being a flirt (that was a good one!), or something along those lines. I think if I do it right, I could move on in my head but save the friendship. That's what I'm hoping!

    I think @idsm is still holding out hope for us, haha, but she really is straight.
     
    #334 RJay, Sep 5, 2017
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  15. dreamingfreely

    dreamingfreely
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    I love Hayley Kiyoko and listen to her all day at work. I named my Pandora channel for her Girls like girls lol and have my phone playing on my desk for anyone who comes in my office to see.
     
    #335 dreamingfreely, Sep 5, 2017
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  16. Moonsparkle

    Moonsparkle
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    @leb10 -Hayley Kiyoko--thanks for introducing me, wasn't familiar with her. Good stuff!(and that video...hmmm...not too bad either :slight_smile: )

    @RJay - I imagine seeing V this morning is going to bring up all kinds of I GOT IT SOOO BAD feelings. But you do seem pretty sure she is 100% straight. Stay strong, and you have a couple GREAT lines to choose from to come clean to her! May I once again suggest Miss Movin' On--Fifth Harmony... as the soundtrack for the morning ??

    :musical_note::musical_score:'I'm not the way I used to be
    I took the record off repeat......:musical_score: :musical_note:

    :relaxed:
     
    #336 Moonsparkle, Sep 6, 2017
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  17. idsm

    idsm
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    What?! You, too? :astonished::unamused:

    Yeah right, L and V both... pffff....
     
    #337 idsm, Sep 6, 2017
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  18. RJay

    RJay
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    Oh dear LORD, seeing V was awful. Just awful. We spent an hour together in my apartment while the kids were playing. Just chit chatting about this and that. But, she makes me weak and dizzy and and and....

    New plan!!! (How many times have I said that?!) Next time we are alone, I'm going to say: "So, I've really been feeling like starting to date, starting to explore my sexuality, but the problem is I compare every woman I meet to you, and they all fall woefully short."

    It's not as cute as what the coach suggested, but it's more REAL, more serious, more HONEST. But still not so intense or invasive as to make a friendship impossible. I just need her to tell me she's straight and can't/won't go there with me EVER. I hope she can just tell me that. I think if I hear her say it, I can move on. If she just flips her hair and giggles and keeps up with the ambiguous act, I'll have to up the ante and tell her, "listen, I really need you to tell me flat out that our relationship is and always will be purely platonic. Because as obvious as it is that you are straight, you are the first person I've ever fallen in love with, and I got myself all wrapped up in a fantasy that you might be open to getting involved with me."
     
    #338 RJay, Sep 6, 2017
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  19. junebug99

    junebug99
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    Good plan. Time to just take the chance and end the uncertainty. And then you can decide if you want to persue a relationship with her or seek out another one. We all know you can do it!
     
    #339 junebug99, Sep 6, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2017
  20. RJay

    RJay
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    Thanks! A friend I ran this by said just to avoid using the words "in love" or that could make friendship impossible. So, I'm just going to stick with the idea of starting out the conversation with the bit about wanting to date but comparing everyone to her. And then just let the conversation go from there. Hopefully she just stops me right there and tells me she loves me as a friend but is the straightest girl ever. And that would be that. I'd only say more if she *doesn't* give me a clear STOP sign.
     
    #340 RJay, Sep 6, 2017
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