I hate the way I look

Hey, I don't have facial hair either. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see a big issue with it. Tons of dudes don't have any. And I know how the deep voice thing is, but I've been reassured by my partner that I do pass-voice and all, especially around his little cousins. You're 5'4"? Pfft. Dude, I'm only 4'11". At least you have some height on you. If you get read as a freshman, I barely get read as 12.

Yeah, a lot of this sucks. I know. But try your best to look on the bright side of things. There's the future to look forward to and amazing things can/have come from guys who have been on T for not too long. Until then, do your best to boost your self-confidence and how you carry yourself. That in the end may help you a lot more in the end. I've noticed for me that being more self-confident may have been helping me pass more than my clothes.

tl;dr - Try not to put yourself down so much about the current situation. Boost your self-confidence, swagger and how your carry yourself and that will get you pretty far until you can get T to help you a bit more. Keep your chin up, bro.

 

I can't speak for everyone, but my dysphoria has lessened a bit since I was first coming out three years ago. It was total hell and I remember crying my eyes out in the shower a lot. It was horrible. But right now, things seem to be more manageable. I'm positive you'll find coping skills to get you through the day.

Dude, the masturbation thing was all me for a while. Being frustrated was a huge bitch, and it kind of still is. For me, I found a way around that issue and I can still "get off" without having to do too much; and trust me--bottom dysphoria for me has been fairly intense for a while. I guess when you've been frustrated for so long (and questioning yourself), you can adapt and find a way around any problem.

I know it's kind of hard to find a bright side, especially when things are as dark and complicated as they can be. But do what you can to stay positive. Find your inner self-confidence and try to carry yourself with that and swag (ugh don't kill me).

If you're looking for trans* merch, you could start a kickstarter to raise money to get yourself a packer or a binder; or if you can get a Visa gift card, you probably won't have an issue at the checkout. The contents usually come very disscret (my binder came in a blue envelope of sorts that had a plastic bag material to it for example; and I hear packers come in plain boxes with a company name) so you don't have to worry about someone giving you weird looks about your stuff. I'm pretty sure you can check out a Big Brother binder site and see if you qualify for one.

Yeah, times can be dark. but it's always darkest before the dawn. It's easier said than done, but do what you can to find some sort of hope to hang onto. Think about the future and how you'll get T and surgery one day, how you'll find love and just envision who you might be five or ten years down the line. For me, I just keep that in mind--how everything is so close that I can taste it.

I know how much it sucks, but try to keep your chin up.

 

Dysphoria's a bitch, but try to give things some time. You might latch onto some coping mechanisms to lessen things.

 

Time does wonders, man. It may take a little time, but I know things will improve.

 

Hey there,
The most beautiful man I've seen in my life was FtM. He has a gay male lover. Listen, I'm not transgender, I'm a lesbian...but let me tell you, I don't really ever notice guys at all. Really, my mind is always "girls, girls, girls". But this guy who is FtM, made me look back twice. He wasn't tall, he was around 5' 5" and I barely could see any stubble. He had beautiful bleached hair and slender but slightly masculine arms.

Pure beauty I tell you.
And I'm not even lying.
Who knows, maybe that person is you.
Have you ever come out on a panel and explained your story of being transgender?
Never gonna forget that person I saw that day. A lot of girls like some femininity anyway.