I came out to my husband and have a question

I respectfully but totally disagree. I bet he wants them, just as @StefanSoul wants them from his wife and just as half the world has stalked an ex-partner's new partner on social media because they 'wanted' to know everything about them and the relationship they were dumped for! It doesn't mean that any of those people are owed the details, nor that it is beneficial in any way for them to know the details - it's just human nature. It certainly isn't something @Elle993 should feel pressured into or made to feel guilty over not sharing.

 

Well it's ok for us to disagree my friend. I was however referring to people currently married. Not people with ended relationships. So if I misread or missed something then my apologies on that. I was basing my comment off the original post. To my understanding she is still married. So my point of view was based off of that which I stand by my words on that. That's just how I personally feel because to me marriage is a sacred thing and should not be taken lightly.

Also I just want to correct one misconception regarding myself though. I don't want anything per say from my wife right now except to focus on what she needs and is going threw. So I need that to be clear from jump. I also don't have to ask my wife very often if I want to know something. She shares things willingly with me of her own accord. We share things willingly with each other. That's not to say we haven't ever dropped the ball or made mistakes. We're only human. More often then not mistakes get made because we are trying to protect one another. As a general rule of thumb that is how we try to be though. That being said I personally believe if your in a relationship with someone then yes you owe it to them to be the best you that you can possibly be and be entirely open and honest and that means sometimes answering the hard questions and that door swings both ways. Otherwise why bother getting married at all?

Now when it comes to the matter of exes if it is a fresh break up in a relationship then yes I do feel the humane thing to do is answer all the questions the other person has to best of your ability so that they may find some sense of closure to it all. Anything less then that is just cruel. Now if it's a situation of a lot of time has past down the road then I'd agree with you and say yes nothing is owed. I personally do not have that issue as most my exes became friends after a certain amount of time has past and often hit me up for advice. Now I don't mind that, but sometimes I wish they didn't do the caring and sharing thing quite so much. lol

 

I was also shocked at how well my husband took it. I had been stressing over this for some time and I eventually set a date and time to tell him and my children. I thought he would be angry or he would cry but he did neither. He told me that he loved me so he wants me to be happy. We also haven’t taken any steps to separate and for anyone who doesn’t know, it would appear that nothing has changed. We did agree that it would be ok for me or him to seek other relationships as long as I don’t flaunt it in his face. He claims to not want to meet anyone and is happy living together despite the lack of intimacy. I, however, don’t feel that way. As much as I’m in love with my best friend, I can’t expect her to leave her marriage. If she ever does we would probably be together but she is not at the same place as me yet. It hurts that I’ve found exactly what I want but I can’t have her. She constantly complains about how unhappy she is I’m her marriage and how she wished she met me before she got married but she holds her vows sacred. She is also 10 years younger than me so maybe she is still too scared to take the leap or maybe she just likes to tease me with the thought that we could be together. I don’t know but I do know that I want to seek out a relationship with a woman at some point but I just don’t know when or where I’ll find this person but I’m sure I’ll know when our paths cross. I can’t wait for my friend because she has given me no reason to believe that this will ever happen. For now, it seems to work living with my husband. We have separate bedrooms and he is respecting my boundaries and talks to me about my feelings. Some days it makes me question if I’m doing the right thing because he has been so wonderful but I know I’m my heart that he can’t give me what I need and vice versa.

 

It sounds like you're handling it really well @Elle993.

 

You don't have to *prove* anything, you get to define yourself.