I’m new- married for 10 years and finally questioning my sexuality.

I just wanna say -- me too (except I don't have kids). It took me several years until everything clicked into place. And suddenly, everything made a lot more sense and my intense relationships with my best women friends made a lot more sense and all that you described sounds really familiar to me. It was liberating and golden to come out to myself, and to realize that coming out to others was also for me and not for them. Even though aspects of it have been hard, it's been so wholesome also. And it doesn't have to happen all at once.