How to satisfy a bisexual/pansexual?

This thread looks vaguely familiar... Oh, wait, it's from 6 months ago.

Teasing aside, I agree with the consensus. It's probably not an issue for bisexual/pansexual folk.

 

^ Well, it's got me about 19% more pessimistic :l

 

I also like people because of their personality, but I'm gay and I can't help not being physically attracted to women. I think it's a bit unfair to take the "I focus on personality" speech to describe your pansexuality because many of us care about the mind of a person more than their body as well, but we're exclusively sexually attracted to certain gender(s). And if being pansexual means not caring about the gender, does that mean that you're attracted to no one or that you're attracted to anyone?

Please take no offence, I'm genuinely interested.

 

Bisexuals don't need both genders at one time. We can be satisfied just fine with one, we're just able to be attracted to both men and women.

 

I ebb and flow, going from guys to girls. But that only effects attraction at first sight. We're just like everyone else looking for that special someone whether it comes in the form of a guy or a girl. Gender doesn't really show up that much. And for those of us who do make the mistake of going for gender over heart once doesn't repeat that mistake again. I once made that mistake - a guy and a girl - I was madly in love with him, but went with the girl due to her gender alone. Since I didn't feel anything for her, nothing happened between us and I lost him the process. Last time I do that, if I went with my heart I'd be in a awesome relationship right now. So can society have an effect? On some, but once that mistake hits you in the face? It's hard to repeat it - so follow heart over society.

We're just like everyone else. Just, for the most part, gender blind. A real turn on is personality.

 

Agreeing with most of the above! I liked guys in high school, then dated a girl for 2.5 years, during which time I literally thought I completely straight because I was only interested in her. Now that the relationships ending, I like guys again.

There are a few insatiable bisexuals out there, but there are insatiable straight and gay people too. Take each person one at a time.

 

You still haven't learned! Can someone give him some tips?

 

If the sex is good it doesn't matter.

 

I saw the title of the thread and died laughing! The poster above me is Spatula, so it appeared as "How to satisfy a.... Spatula" :roflmao:

 

My gf is bi. We aren't sexually active but... In theory, a bisexual is someone who is attracted to either gender. So, if your partner is bisexual- they will enjoy you regardless of your gender. The same should be true with a pansexual partner.

 

Exactly.

 

This is pretty offensive, and I think you know it. Do you want to tell me why it is you think that bisexuals have a unique problem with faithfulness? I don't know why people think it's acceptable to troll with this.

 

aww =(

I might seem like i'm not qualified to answer since i'm generally involved in non-exclusive relationships, but that has nothing to do with my sexuality, i'm just an outlier when it comes to my attitude to sex and love (i think they're completely separate things that happen to mix together extremely well and i seem to lack the instinct for jealousy that most people have)

Basically, no, it's not like that. No matter what gender someone happens to be, if we enjoy our sex life together and fall in love, then i would be happy and blissfully sated. In the words of Juliet: What more satisfaction couldst thou have?*

just because you like people of either gender doesn't mean you're compelled to have at least one of both.

*(i'm guilty of paraphrasing, juliet actually said "What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?")

[edit] oh i'm sorry!!! I didn't see the date or the reply previous, just went straight off the OP! Glad to hear you found a great bi guy =D congratulations!

 

I have attempted to live a bisexual life. I have known from the time I was about 13yo that I was gay. But, again, I chose a "straight" life. I had mentioned to a few people that I was Bi, and everyone just went with it. No one cared.

Few years later, I marry a women and have kids. But there was always a big peace missing. I craved the touch and feel of a man.

So an answer to the original question. No, I do not believe a bisexual person can be please by only one side. But only if that side is not willing to help "act" out the other sex. My wife now knows I am gay, and she does everything she can to ensure my satisfaction. It is not an easy road, but a road that can be traveled.

Side note; I don't know much about pan sexuality so I cannot form an opinion on it yet.

 

it sounds like you're describing the experience of a gay man not being able to be pleased by a woman, not a bisexual man not being able to be pleased by only one sex.

I can imagine quite a few people being offended by your post, but i think it's said in innocence rather than malice.

 

As someone who has this fear, I think it just stems more from inherent human insecurities. Some people are always worried that they aren't providing enough for their partner, and if you are dating someone who is bi/pan, you have some topics that are very easy to dwell on. Not because it's any more likely, but because it's there. After all, if you're insecure about someone leaving you for someone else, a bi/pan person has twice the number of people they could do it with.

It helps to remember: Someone who is bi/pan isn't any more likely to leave than anyone else. They're people who have feelings. Sure, there are some who can be kinda douchy, but again, no more so than anyone else. Try to stay confident in yourself, and (like all relationships) trust develops and grows over time.

 

You are spot on.
I meant ABSOLUTELY no harm. I am still fairly new to even talking about how I feel with all of this. I can now admit that, yes, I am a gay man. I cannot be pleased by a women. But I attempted to give a perspective of a bisexual male.

Again, if I offended I am sorry. Didn't mean to.

 

no worries man, you didn't offend me =) but a lot of bi people hate that stereotype, is all.

 

But you're not bisexual, in the sense of sexuality at least, you're gay, you identify as gay, you say you've always identified as gay(well, from 13).
You can't, then, give a bisexual perspective. You can give an opinion of what you THINK a bisexual perspective would be, but you don't actually have that perspective because you are gay.

Also, not to make this thread about you, but if you "cannot be pleased by a woman" why are you allowing your wife to do "everything she can to ensure [your] satisfaction"?
I rarely like to judge someone elses life choices, but this, well, this just sounds terrible and not healthy for either of you.

Anyway, as I reopened this old thread and as a bisexual/pansexual/omnisexual(whatever - basically, I can love anyone) myself(who happens to be the one in a loving relationship with Robert, by the way, so the opening post is alot out of date), I guess I should give my perspective.

I am sexually attracted to both men and women. With Robert, I still find women sexually attractive, however, I reckon were I straight, and I was in a loving relationship, I would find other ladywomen sexually attractive(same with gay, except, you know cockpanted men not ladywomen) BUT thats because sexually attractive people are sexually attractive - but that does not mean I would cheat on my partner.
It's not about how many who's you could have shenanigans with, it's loving the person you're with.