How to react when you meet someone smarter than you?

I think a person's character is immensely more worth noting than a person's intelligence... For example, if for some reason you consider intelligent people to be "better" than you or idolize them in some way.... Don't. Arrogant intelligent people are no better than you, and in terms of character, they might even be "worse" than you from a certain perspective....

I'd much rather befriend someone who is "averagely intelligent" and an actual good person than an arrogant ass-hole who just happens to be very smart... I know quite a few people that are smarter than myself in certain topics, but i associate with few because it seems in my area of life that the smarter people get the more innately arrogant they become. They can be the kind of people who discredit other people --- (wont talk to them, look down on them) just because they arent as amazingly intelligent as themselves and that kind of attitude sickens me

Obv. not all super smart people are arrogant... just to clarify before I got off track.

And I agree with Nikky DoUrden. IQ is not an indication of full intelligence, and imo i dont think it should be thought of as such. There are MANY types of intelligence, some not academic and the different IQ scales dont always account for this.. + There are social intelligences, understanding intelligences.. TONS of intelligence types basically! So while someone might be a genius at math, they could be very bad at social interaction. They might know nothing about engineering, they might know nothing about music, or art.

Its all about perspective And when I think of it like that --- no person is innately "better" than another because of intelligence. Self-Worth is just that -- Self. You probably are smarter than them in other areas... but tbh in my opinion you (not YOU in particular.. but you as in an individual) shouldn't need that kind of comforting thought to rationalize not feeling a certain way.


In my own experiences, I am academically intelligent and I feel like I can not talk to people about anything academic in relation to myself. People will literally get mad at me or stop talking to me, because they are jealous or think that i am trying to show off... I might get extremely depressed if I get a B on a test or homework assignment. Its gotten so bad that i cant even talk to someone about it... because maybe someone else got a D+ and they are livid that i would dare to be upset.

While I do get that looking at other peoples problems is important from one perspective, I don't think it entirely discredits your own problems... I mean rich people have problems too. All "actual" problems are respectable in my mind, as long as they are not portrayed as more important than other problems when they are not... So in context, I am upset over getting a B, but im not crying, my parents are not hitting me or telling me to do better.. I am simply upset --- and i choose to not talk to people about it because It makes being friends with people a lot easier. I feel quite arrogant for even bringing this up, but its kind of society's conditioning to make me feel this way.


And i got WAY off topic xD but yeah!!! Don't feel bad Just love yourself and accept! Comparing people can be harmful to self-confidence

 

There are no exact standards of defining "smart". Smart can mean many things. And I'm sure that no matter who you meet that makes you feel inferior, there are some things you can do that they can't. Maybe those things are not outwardly noticeable, but your talents will show eventually.

 

How to react when you meet someone smarter than you?


"He/She's a Witch! Burn Him/Her!!!"

 

Don't worry so much. No one is ever gonna be upset with you around here for 'venting' any of your frustrations. Especially since I have to admit to some extent I understand where you are coming from. I myself am not quite at your thought level though, but I would consider myself 'right on your tail' so to speak.

I think in the 7th grade my IQ was determined to be around 136 which is good, not quite a 160, but definitely higher than the average person. By a rather large sum even. So I can understand what you're talking about. I come from a rural area where education is well...lacking. Most people around here don't have even the most basic grip on what should be generally understood information. When I try to communicate with people around my area I have to dumb back my choice of words or I'll go clean over their heads unintentionally.

Hey if you ever need to just let your intellectual side out and use those words that most people can't keep up with I'd be more than happy to listen. I'm definitely high enough up on the scale to comprehend though I can't make any promises I would have the brain power to interact and provide lively feedback. Maybe though, after all Sherlock had Watson. :3

I didn't have that problem in college. I started going through post-secondary so I was doing college classes at around 16. Unfortunately at the same time I was easily what could be described in retrospect as 'depressed' so I never really applied even the most basic effort into my work. Sometimes I went the route of completely not doing any work, but when I did do work it was the night before and it was a rushed piece of garbage that I made up on the fly. I still generally got a B when I actually finished a paper though so I guess that's not bad for zero effort ^.^

" I spend nearly all of my free time in bed, alone, playing on the internet." <--- that's how I would summarize my entire life. So, welcome to the club

 

It really pisses me off.
There is a long line of people with genius level IQs on my mom's side of the family... engineers, biologists, you name it! I fell like the dumbass bastard child of my family. They were rich and went to private school, while my mom won't even let me go to public school! My mother did nothing to help me with my education, EVERYTHING I've learned after 4th grade was self-taught.
It makes me want to shot myself whenever I think about all the brain-dead idiots in public school who don't give a rat's ass about education who "earn" a high school diploma, yet I have to settle for a GED and be labeled for the rest of my life as a high school dropout all because my mother is a bitch.

 

Oh wow that sucks

I hate parents who just decide things for their kids. I get that it's a parents right...I guess. The only thing it ever seems to accomplish is ruining an innocent child's life in some way or another. It happens over and over, I especially hate any parent who drops their kid out of school in order to teach them things like 'creationism' because that's just mental abuse of a child in my opinion...but that is beside the point.

Don't let something like having a GED instead of a diploma hold you back. With the GED you can pursue college so why not see if you can get yourself into a decent university and work towards a long term career?

 

My sister is far more intelligent than I in many respects and I love her dearly, but her brain is like prize truffles soaked in hundred-year-old brandy and coated with edible gold leaf--in a can, with no can opener in sight. I admire the things she knows, and she admires the fact that I am better equipped to use what I know. A lot of it is just getting to know the person, strengths and weaknesses, and appreciating their abilities. Just like if you can barely run a mile and find yourself in the park with a marathon runner. Admire but do not idolize or be intimidated.

 

I don't feel bad unless they're being arrogant about it. The world needs more smart people.

 

Simple Thoughts, your reply put a smile on my face. You seem to have a remarkable kind of mellowness about life's foibles that is so cool. I am envious, my dear Watson!

Don't want to be a Freudian monster and say "It's all mommy and daddy's fault!", but it is hard to resist the conclusion that a lot of my personal anxiety is something of a residue of theirs. My family is all extremely highly-strung people, to the point of making Woody Allen seem like Jeff Spicoli. (Old movie references there.) Although I am considered the laid back one in the family, I know none of them have the least clue of my inner turmoil. Being with my wife, a relatively mellow person in many ways (although resolutely not in others), helped me out a lot, I think.

I think nearly all of us here at EC are the procrastinating, eleventh-hour home-working type. Would there even be EC discussion boards if there weren't essays and assignments to do that motivate us to be proactive distraction seekers? I sometimes wonder! :lol:

Belle, it sucks that you're going through this. If it's any consolation, I know for a fact that there are at least a few of us here at EC (myself included) who can relate to a disappointing, stunting homeschooled background. The social libertarian in me won't allow myself to consider proposing that underqualified parents should be outlawed from teaching their kids at home. But I really wish these parents would at least really research and analyze the situation before subjecting their kids to a learning environment that is guaranteed to leave them woefully unequipped for the real world. (Public school does enough of that, from what I've heard.)

I will say that my GED-status has never once come up as an issue in my college and professional career. What they say about that stage of life seems to be true, that no one really cares what did in (or for) high school. So it's an opportunity for a clean slate. Are you planning on attending college/university?

 

Thank you. I try to not let life get to me whenever I can. I prefer a relaxed attitude towards life. After all it doesn't help to let life get to you, you're better off just letting things run their course and doing the best you can to get what you want. If things work out, Great! If not, at least you tried

Yeah I understand you're feelings there. I don't necessarily like pointing the finger at my parents either. I did for awhile because in a way my dad played his part in how I wound up where I'm at, but I've had way more time than most people to reflect being that I spend most of my time alone. I've come to the realization lately that it really just comes down to yourself. You either try and make things better for yourself, or you don't. Regardless of who you are and where you came from. You either try or you just life trample on you. I've made some efforts to swing myself in that mental state, though I often times fall back on my procrastination habits xD

It's good that you have a wife who's there for you, and who can mellow you out. I imagine that it must be nice. This I suppose is not something you have to take my advice on, but if there is some issues between you and your parents that have been left unresolved it might work wonders to make an effort to talk them out and try to work through them with your parents. Though I would totally understand if you didn't xD

Haha there probably wouldn't be! lol

 

I've met a number of incredibly smart professors. I would never want to be them. Their lives are spent in labs/books/etc, they don't know how to interact with people who are "below" them. In other words, they don't live in this world.

Trust me, you're better off being a little less book-smart and a little more street-smart.

 

^ Sums it up nicely.

 

It's okay if they're not a huge jerk. Everyone has different ability scores. Too many factors to consider. My parents pushed me a little and I thought I was a bit smart until I knew a kid that completed 'Advanced Higher Mathematics' at the age of 14. It only got worse when I read about child prodigies. I could name drop a book here that made me feel like the world's biggest idiot. I couldn't get past the introduction chapters! Also I did one of those IQ tests in college and another one a few years later. Fun times xD

 

Intelligence is completely subjective. Everyone possesses different spheres of influence they are more comfortable dealing with.

Example: My intellectual strengths involve the written word. I'm a pretty good writer if I may be permitted to toot my own horn. HOWEVER, I am a complete idiot when it comes to matters of numbers. That's where my friend comes in. He's not the best writer in the world, but he is an absolute genius when it comes to mathematics.

Everyone has their intellectual strengths and weaknesses. Don't let other people get you down. The jackasses who have to rub their supposed intelligence in the faces of others are more than likely overcompensating due to their own self esteem issues. Be happy with who you are and embrace your own intellectual prowess

 

I went to one of the top colleges in the world... And some of my classmates were dumb as a sack of bricks.

Intelligences aren't always defined by academic prowess.

 

Of course the more prestigious the school, the more bank account plays a role over intelligence. lol

 

I don't know if this makes sense, but I know I'm smarter than a lot of people, but I don't think I am really a lot of the time. However, I do know I know more things about certain areas than others and whatnot. I guess I should I answer the question. If they try to boast their intelligence and prove they're smarter than me, then I see really no reason to even talk to them. Usually, I just accept it, cry on the inside, and just move on. A lot of the times they assert their intelligence on me, and I'll correct them (me being right) and they don't even believe me and it's really annoying.

 

Hope I don't get in an debate with them on something they are better at than me.

 

I cover my ears and go "lalalalalala." :lol:

In all seriousness, while I may be jealous of people who are more intelligent than me, I am also glad they exists because Lord knows that if everyone in the world was equal to or less intelligent than me, the world would be in trouble. I have had the pleasure of being on both sides of the aisle "intelligence wise" and feel that as long as you're humble and graceful, one can coexist with people of varying mental aptitudes.

As Michael Dell stated in his 2003 commencement address at UT: Try never to be the smartest person in the room. And if you are, I suggest you invite smarter people … or find a different room.

 

It depends on our relationship: if I like them, I'll become chummy, try to learn from them, and hold them in a place of high respect respect. If not, I'll be rude towards them and try to find ways to knock them down a peg or two. It comes down to personality, mostly, so if they're arrogant, selfish, close-minded, or hostile, they'll automatically be on my "black list".

Though, having an IQ in the 75th percentile, I rarely come across super smart people with these qualities, especially outside of the classroom. The know-it-all guys who absolutely must shout out answers, correct others, and tell everyone else how easy this is for them are more of a minor annoyance, honestly, and an unfortunate fact of school life.

Don't quote me on this, but I'm sure heavy users of certain forums might be a cut or two above the intelligence of the general population. If anything, I escape to sites like EC to read and take part in stimulating conversations and debates, since everyone else seems to find them useless and boring. At the same time, I've definitely had my share of "Someone on the internet is wrong!" moments as a result. :icon_redf