How to find a reason to live

Well, I'm in the same situation. I've realized that everything, starting with the existence of the universe, is just pointless.

Now, you're alive. You don't have a reason to live, but you don't have a reason to die either. So well... Let's have fun.
Do what makes you happy, for it's your life that you're living now.

If you suffer from anhedonia, try to pick out something you used to like or a thing that you feel something from... And commit yourself to it.
I'm currently trying it, I'm not out of depression yet, but well it's starting to get better than it used to be.

 

Hello.

I know you're having a very bad time and you're suffering a lot, because I've gone through a similar experience and I identify with all the feelings you have.

When we are depressed we lose our enthusiasm and we tend to think that our situation will last forever. But that's not necessarily true. We never know what the future holds and we can have a brighter future if we fight for changing our present.

I'm not going to lie to you. At first, finding a reason to live is very difficult. Psychologists usually recommend doing activities in order to occupy your time and not to be thinking in your problems the whole day. At this point, people who are depressed have to make a huge effort because they don't feel like doing anything. However, even if you want to be isolated and do nothing, you should spend your time in something (studying, going out for a walk, learning a new language, playing a sport, something which involves knowing people, etc.). Otherwise, you'll be depressed for a longer time.

I'm sure you'll be able to overcome your problems. Maybe you need some time to heal your wounds, but there will be a moment when you will be tired of being depressed.

Nothing is as difficult as you think right now. Trust me.

Finally, I would like to give you another piece of advice. It doesn't matter if you don't do what I said before, but this is important. Be brave and keep on going to high school. Don't leave it. I left university because of my depression and I regret that decision a lot.

If you need something, you can count on me.

You will be happy again :icon_wink (*hug*)

---------- Post added 1st Mar 2015 at 03:00 PM ----------

This is very true.

 

I find my dog helps. He relies on me for his food and water, and company. It's not much a reason to live, but when he wags his tail first thing in the morning when he first sees me, it's about the only thing that can make me smile.

 

I've been in this situation.

I have spent so much time thinking of what is the purpose of life (also picturing myself jumping off a bridge, shoting in the head, etc.) and I realised life is just pointless.

I realised that killing mysef was pointless too, and would put my family in a bad situation, specially mom and my sister, and that they don't deserve to go trough such a hard time. Also felt a coward, killing myself would mean that I don't have the balls to face the problems.

There is no need to waste time thinking in the purpose or reason of our lives. It is best to spend the time just living and doing what makes us happy. Because we don't know when are we going to left this world.

You don't need to have a reason to live. You just need to live.

And with life there will come the problems, just don't worry, and accept that there are going to be hard times. And the most important, accept yourself, accept that you can't control everything and that many times things are not going to be as we want or desire.

Vive la vida, que hoy estamos aquí y mañana no sabemos. :icon_wink

 

Unless you follow a particular religion, you get to make your own reasons to live.

When I was a teenager, I developed a medical problem that nearly killed me. One of the many symptoms was severe depression. I was ready to kill myself, the only thing holding me back was the knowledge of how painful my friend's previous suicide had been for me, and how I was unwilling to inflict that pain on anyone I loved. But I was coasting. I was ready to die.

Then the medical problem went critical, and I wound up in the hospital bleeding to death (did you know that spontaneous internal hemorrhaging is a thing that can happen? I sure didn't!). In order to save me, the surgeons had to operate. They put a clipboard into my hands so I could consent to surgery. All I had to do to die was refuse to sign ...

I signed. I lived. And I've never looked back since, no matter how bad the depression has gotten.

We get to decide our own reasons for living. Since then, I've continued to struggle with depression, with chronic pain and nausea that make some moments incredibly difficult. But I decided that I was going to live, and that the point of my life was to be happy.

It's a super simple goal, but I really do recommend it, if it works for you. Be happy. Experience joy. Even on the most depressed of days, even when the anhedonia has you in its grips, remember that you have known joy in the past and will know joy again. Let this knowledge and these memories carry you through the tough times.

And lower your standards. Remember, the other option is being dead. You know what's better than being dead? Super simple things. The puffy white clouds in the blue sky after rain. The simple but tasty meal that your partner cooked. The dumb and silly jokes in your favorite video game. A five minute conversation with a human being, any human being. Don't be comparing how you feel now to how you'd feel if you were well, compare it to being dead - and all of a sudden, these tiny little victories become precious.

Maybe you will find a different reason to live. There are lots of good ones. Live to experience new things. Live to help others in need. Live to contribute to something greater than yourself. Live for your family. Live to create beautiful art.

I second what other people said that hobbies are great, but I find that while they are useful for dealing with day-to-day depression, it took major existential shifts for me to overcome suicidal depression. An anchor in the future that you can hold onto when nothing else works. So I offer my own, for whatever that's worth.

Good luck to you! (*hug*)

 

I feel you :/ I don't think I'm very happy either. My family is OK, but I would rather spend my time alone playing videogames which makes me sort of sad. I don't like being around lots of people, and for the most part I don't because I am homeschooled.

I totally understand not feeling like you have a purpose. I feel like that too.I don't know where my life is going or what I ahould do next. It's hard to find motivation to do things. My advice would be to just force yourself to do activities and be around other people. Do you have friends you can hang out with?

 

Hey, I know it's difficult to see hope, and to focus on the fun side in this world, but even when you're feeling really negative, remember that you are strong enough to live this life. There are so many opportunities that you still have to experience. The best days of your life haven't happened yet. But they're gonna happen. Stay strong.

 

Most people have already given you good advice, I just want to add (hope they don't mind me writing in Spanish, heheh)...

No pierdas la esperanza, yo sé lo horrible que puede parecer el mundo, especialmente cuando uno está así, pero sigue adelante. Haz lo que amas, lo que te gusta. Y si no sientes ganas de hacerlo, fórzate, recuerda por qué amas o gustas de ello.

Tu existencia es un milagro, tú eres un milagro (si te gusta la ciencia, mira), vívela como tal. No dejes que otras personas te desanimen, ni te compares con otros para mal. Nunca sabemos qué va a traer el mañana, pero lo que sí podemos saber es lo que somos ahora, lo que tenemos, no olvides sentirte agradecida por las cosas bellas y buenas en tu vida. Encuentra razones para sonreír, para motivarte, poco a poco—te aseguro que las hay, y más cerca de ti de lo que parece.

Ánimo, bonita. Recupera tus sueños, no están muertos, los sueños son como semillas; hay que plantarlos, cuidarlos, hacerlos crecer poco a poco. Son ele inicio del camino, no desesperes que toma tiempo para que florezcan, pero para eso están, para que duren toda la vida si lo permitimos, si luchamos por ello. Elije uno, cuídalo, y no te rindas.

 

Actually they do.
We all non-spanish speakers do, it's quite confussing... :icon_wink

EC has a policy about it : Only english allowed.
Don't ask me why, I didn't made it, nor suggested it.

 

No hay de qué, encantada de poder ayudar.

Ah, I imagined so and kind of remembered reading that before, but I couldn't help myself. Thank you for the confirmation, though, I will know better next time—that or provide a translation for the other readers.

 

That's exactly how I feel! You should PM me if you want to talk about that in particular

 

One phrase that always helps me deal eith depression is "if you look for the dark all you will see is darkness but if you look for the light no matter what you will find it somewhere" It helps and it is so true. You just got to search for that silver lining.

 

If you need a reason to live, live for Mister Sparkles!!! Mister Sparkles doesn't want you to feel like you aren't worthy of living!!!

Did you know you can be your own best friend? People are so bent out of shape on having friends and forcing "family" on people, in the media, TV, movies, and music. It's all hype and a selling gimmick.

You don't need all of that. All you need is YOU!

A lot of people are sad and feel lonely because they don't know how to be their own best friend. You need to find some way to learn to love yourself enough that you realize you don't need other people. When you can be your own best friend, things won't look as black, dark, and depressing as they do now.

I know it sounds like bull, but there are millions of people out there who have learned to be happy with themselves, and its no big deal if they don't have friends or don't have supportive family.

Learning to be happy with you is very important. You have to find some way to be your own best friend. When you do that, everything else will fall into place.

 

I'm like you. I wish I had an answer. For me though, it's more of a feeling that comes and goes. But the feeling is horrible either way.

 

Hi itsmary,

it could just be a phase of being down, or it could be something that needs more attention, such as getting a suitably qualified counsellor or therapist to talk things over with. In my case, I've had similar feelings over the last year, and I'm seeing a psychologist regularly. I rely on this. There are times in many folks' lives when this can be very helpful or even necessary.

One thing to take note of, is that at 17 you still have many, many years ahead of you to work this out. You will be surprised at how you will change over the next few years, actually. Between 17 and say 25, people develop, change and grow quite a lot. Things might seem a bit daunting now, but in time you could find that with or without help, they could sort themselves out.

A reason to live, though...well I think if we were in a war zone, it would be easier to find this. Living in a rich, industrialized country, we tend to focus on problems that occur largely in our own minds, since we don't have our immediate safety to look out for, or how we are going to get our next meal. Sadly, many in the world don't have this luxury. We get to worry about problems like depression, whereas for many others in the world, not getting shot or bombed is their main concern. If your life was in imminent danger you would probably find that the survival instinct would kick in pretty fast - and then, having survived, you would be glad just to be still alive, still able to see those you care about again, still able to just walk in the open air in the sunlight, and enjoy the beauty of trees, flowers and mountains. I do get what you are going through, though. I struggle every day with meaning. I too struggle to find a good enough reason to really commit to this life properly like so many others seem to be able to do. To figure out what it is that I really want to do, what I feel strongly enough about to really work hard for, like music, for example (when I was your age, music was my passion, and what I really wanted - it gave my life focus, kept me busy, and without even thinking about it, there was 'meaning' in my life). Maybe you need to search for something, it could be anything, that you really love doing, and pursue it, work at it. Something that makes you want to get up in the morning to hone and perfect it. Music was like that for me. I didn't mind all the hard work, because I loved it. So this is another suggestion for you - find your passion and pursue it.