How did you know you were NOT attracted to the opposite sex?

I think it was the most confusing thing that I knew I wanted girls and I wanted to be with them but I kept having guys fall for me because I was a laid back girl who likes video games and doesn't make drama. The sex with men was always complicated. I felt like it was a cho r or I had to orgasms or else I'll offend him and to my horror I could never come. But with girls, it just comes naturally (haha I'm funny did ya see that?)

In the end you have to figure it out. Don't hang yourself on labels and have to fit inside a box. Were people. We don't fit into boxes haha.

 

I had always been drawn to certain girls/women throughout my childhood/adolescence but didn't know it was supposed to be romantic at all. I assumed they were all "admirations". I used to force myself to get off to guys but didn't realize I was forcing it, and getting off became more and more unsatisfying. I eventually realized that what I felt for women was romantic and sexual, and for men, I had realized that there was a difference between sexual attraction and aesthetic attraction - and that the whole time the only interest I had in men was aesthetic.

And with women I like, there's a glow in their face and it makes me want to kiss them. With men, there is absolutely no desire to kiss them. Anywhere. It doesn't matter how nice their face is, there is no glow.

 

Awe, I like this! And it's so true!!

 

I was also confused whether I liked guys.. but at a certain point I realized all my "attraction" was theoretical and not really attraction. I "liked" a guy because he was friendly to me and I thought being friends with a boy meant you had to like him romantically. The prospect of romance and getting a boyfriend (just like all the other girls I knew and the straight romance that is promised you in the media - like being a normal teenager) made me feel excited. However, when the boy I thought I liked tried to kiss me I backed way, thinking there was something wrong with me. I didn't even find him good-looking. Later the same thing happened wit another guy, only I was drunk enough to not be able to stop him from touching me, which made me feel horrible about myself. The only fictional/celebrities men that I liked were gay and I was attracted by the gay, not the men.

Then I realized I'm not capable of liking guys romantically. Moreover, I used to have fantasies that included faceless guys, but they were very abstract and based on movements. I coudn't imagine myself in the fantasies. The thoughts often included violence and/or made me cry. While when I fantasize about women I can imagine myself in the situation and specific girls I like and it feels nice, real and sensual.. like something I would actually want for my life. (Btw: before I accepted I'm a lesbian I couldn't fantasize about girls I know in real life, I guess I felt subconsciously guilty about it.)

In short: not being able to do physical or romantical stuff with a guy in real life (though I have held hands with a boy.. that's the maximum that is possible lol) and then realizing my thought patterns about guys weren't normal but forced.

 

i think i had guy friends who were quite handsome but i treated them more as bros rather than a crush. i kind of admired them for their looks.

as for girls, i just fall head over heels for them. and then i ultimately realised (upsettedly) that i was a lesbian at the age of 10. almost everytime when i had to part with these girls (who i treated as friends and always wanted to attract them in a romantic way) i felt devastated and crushed. i would cry and weep. even until now the scar of my last crush remains.

 

Because I compared my feelings toward girls to my feelings toward boys, and I realized that I felt much more strongly about girls. I discovered that I was not attracted to boys... I was attracted to the idea of being attracted to someone, and boys were simply the more socially acceptable option.

 

This goes to a post I just made but I think I always knew. Here my story Growing up I was never that into boys. My parents would set me up on dates but I was never interested in boys? My friends would be head over hills over boys but I never really got into guys. A few years back I was interested in man and he liked me, but it never went past friendship. He was the first man I could see myself with, but other than that I never really wanted to be around guys. I have always felt more comfortable around girls. I find them easier to relate to.