This is a weird thing so let me talk about it. When I initially realised my sexuality at 15, I was very accepting of myself and also really wanted to be out. I even wrote an essay for English class about coming to terms with my sexuality and honestly was very close to properly coming out. At that point, I was proud of it. Fast forward 2.5 years later at 18 and I no longer feel the same. I'm much more reluctant to say anything about being gay and would never in a million years write that essay. I feel way further in the closet. Also part of me feels a bit ashamed for being gay. Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay. I think that things really went sour for me when I started uni as I quickly noticed a total lack of gay guys and instead it was only straight guys and lesbians. Felt very alienating and I fit in even less than at school which is unusual. Anyone else felt like this? Has your acceptance of your sexuality went backwards?