Gender Therapy

Yeah, I'm hoping he'll want to skype or something this weekend. We haven't even just talked in a awhile so it'd be really nice even just to catch up. And yeah, I though of that too, once I become more certain on a name choice I might mention that to him too. And thanks Felix!

Geeks are the best And that'd be awesome, I know I'm majoring in art and all, but part of me is really interested in the science'y subjects. And I've been thinking that if I don't end up doing research this summer I might look into working/ volunteering at my local LGBT+ center. I feel like that'd definitely be something I could see myself doing future.

Haha yeah, but I suppose astrology is derived from astronomy; so connected, but not the same Haha, let me know if you ever do. Lol, you should make astrology themed valentines, that'd be great.

Yeah I don't know, Michael is okay, but it almost feels too formal. And the nick name Mike reminds me too much of one of my Professors. And thanks for the tips, I'll be on the look out.

Scrolling through a list of names from 1994, so far the name Conner has stuck, I suppose the test will be if I still remember it by dinner time. And I guess its sort of similar to Corin, the other name my parents considered for me. Or perhaps Matthew (Matt), but I do still sort of like Michael... Oh the joys of figuring out your name.

Haha, and yes, I'll be on the look out for those names who are journeying through the meters/feet of snow in Russia to find me. :icon_wink

Felix Joshua could work I think it flows. And yeah that would be a nice way to honor the past/ their memory.

Haha, thats awesome! Dreams are the best:icon_bigg

 

Lol, so I think I got side tracked and went on a lovely a tangent for a while, but now to finally type out a response to these thought provoking questions.

This is a tricky question for me to answer right now, but one thing I know for sure is that I'm not a girl. Women are wonderful, lovely people, but even the ones who I get along with and share interests with I still don't feel female around them. I wish people would either see me as genderless or like a sweet, nerdy, bisexual guy.

Yeah, my parents likely would not take the news well. I don't know how my brother would react, but I'm pretty sure my friends would be okay (especially if I ease them into the idea.)

If no one were there to judge/take my change badly would i still hesitate. A little bit, its a big change and I'd want to make sure its what I want. I'm not sure of medical transition, but if I could drink a polyjuice like potion which permeantly altered your gender overnight into the body you would have if you were "insert preferred gender," had no side effects, and made it so people didn't think anything of the change, I'd probably do it.

Still terrified of getting my hair cut, have almost gone a few times, and will try again next week. Over the summer I almost got a pixie, but when I told my stylist short she cut my waist length hair to a bit longer than collar bones, and that still felt too long.

I bought a men's wallet and I love it (its annoying a bit with the euro coins because my female wallet has a coin pouch) and I've been toying with the idea of buying form fitting boxer shorts I could wear with skinny jeans. I'm also thinking of buying a Gillet razor, shaving cream, waiting for my acne to die down, and then shaving my very peach fuzzy face.

Over the summer I binded with sports bra's in private and photophoped my face onto a man's body with short hair, and liked how I looked, but thought both were stupid ideas so shoved them aside.

Over winter break I tried binding tighter (just for like 10 min) in private with an ace bandage, and loved how I looked when I put on a button up over it, I did this a few times over the course of 3 weeks. I also painted a beard on my face with mascara and mock shaved it with the back of an old toothpaste tube, and loved how i looked with it and while shaving.

I made the subtle comment after christmas that I wish I would have gotten a tie instead of a necklace (100% true), and was able to brush of the odd looks from my parents and brother because I felt like was being me.

I've been wearing sports bra's more often than normal bra's with form fitting shirts, and with a flatter chest, I feel more confident and I'm able to sit up straighter without the fear of my figure giving away my gender and drawing unwanted attention to my chest.

When ever I skype with my best friend I want to chat with him a bit about gender, maybe see how I feel being called by male pronouns, and maybe after a I find a name I like consider mentioning the nick name/ name I'd prefer to be called and see how it feels compared to my birth name.

 

Well I didn't make it to dinner, but Michael seems to be sticking. I think once I get my hair cut it will be easier to place a guys name on myself. Right now I just feel like a little boy who's been playing dress up in his invisible sisters clothes for a little too long, and as a result of some element in the clothing materials he never went through puberty... lol, or something like that.

Haha, currently my initials are m.d.h. And its been a running joke about my first two started by late grandpa, that I'd end up as a doctor, so I think I want to try to keep the initials at least. But Michael David sounds way too religious and Renaissance for me. It feels like someone was trying to talk about Michaelangelo's David statue, but then couldn't get it quite right. :lol:

Haha, thats awesome man! Yeah, I'm okay using a purse, its a bit awkward, but its very handy abroad. When it started raining in Paris, I was like, "hold up guys, don't fret, I've got an umbrella in here ." I felt like hermione with the expanding spell/ time lord technology (call it what you will).

Thats a good tip, but oddly enough I sort of hate male deodorant. I tried out some of my brothers, he had one he had never used under the sink, and it was way too strong for me. And what can I say, I have an androgynous looking Dove deodorant that makes me smell like a meadow after a rainstorm, and I'm not gonna lie this guava body wash I found in france smells amazing. Who said scents had to be gendered anyways. :icon_wink But whilst talking 'bout them pits, I haven't exactly shaved in like 2 weeks... and I sort of love it

Yeah, I actually bought a blazer over break too, and even though its a female one, it looks so good on. It really squares out my shoulders, and hugs all the right places (if only the sleeves were full length.)

I've yet to have to pleasure to wear a tie, but perhaps I will buy one in France. And that's a really nice way to hold onto his memory Felix.

And while it will take time for your sisters to adjust to, I'm sure your they will come around eventually. When people have seen you as and assumed you as one thing for your entire life, it can come as a surprise, but given time to adjust things typically get better.

 

Yeah for some reason Michael is sticking (but for some reason I don't like it online... it doesn't feel casual enough... maybe Mitch?

Another name that made smirk when I stumbled across it was Wesley, which for some reason my brain keeps distorting into Wallace (I don't even know whats going on there :lol: all I can think of when here wallace is Wallace and Gromit )

Hey cutting it bit by bit is a good way to go I'm trying to find a time to get mine cut, perhaps I'll go on friday... haircut buddies?

I've never tried tea tree, but I hear good things. Eucalyptus is good too. Those minty scents, are so refreshing.

That's rough, I'm sorry to hear that bud (*hug*) I hope they'll come around eventually, and its a good idea what your doing slowly introducing them to the subject. It seems like coming out for gender identity is a much different process than sexuality (at least in the early stages [and at least for me]) ... (lol and yes I know its a math thing, but parentheses within parentheses are useful :icon_wink)

Thanks, you too Haha, it wasn't anything too special, but my host mom made "des petits gâteaux au citron", they were quite tasty.