Gay Disowned & Rejected advice?

Hey, hang in there. Can you contact your cousin? She might be able to help you. The only thing I can offer is support. Are there any places that are willing to give you a job? I know that everything is probably dark right now, but hang on, please. As for homelessness, were you on agreeable terms with any of your former teachers, maybe the ones you might have asked recommendation letters from? They may not be able to shelter you, but they may be able to help you.

 

Oh my god, my heart is breaking just reading your post. What parent could ever disown their child? You haven't killed anyone, haven't harmed anyone or ripped people off. You simply want to kiss boys instead of girls, and your parents feel this makes you unworthy of their love. In 2015 in North America, that is beyond f*cked up.

As for what can be done, I'm really at a loss. I don't know if going to a local university, church, or charity might be able to help you. Are you close to your highschool? I would consider going to see a guidence councilor and telling them you need a social worker and immediate supports.

For what it's worth, you have my support & you'll be in my thoughts. Your bravery for coming out is commendable & your parents actions are wholly despicable.

 

Not even through social media? Do you have sympathetic family (brothers, sisters, cousins, etc.) that can help?

You might be able to ask social services for help? I'm pretty sure that they don't discriminate based off of sexual orientation, and you may be able to get help that way. I'm sorry that I'm not very good at helping you...just hold on. I know you can get through this.

 

In Ontario there's Kid's Help Phone, the children's aid society, and countless crisis hotlines that can get you help. I would do a Google search & see what Manitoba offers. There are people who can help you & want to help you in the city.

Do see if you can call your high school. Ask to be connected to a councilor. Tell them you're a former student & recently dropped out because of severe anxiety & depression. Tell them about being gay, getting disowned & homeless and ask them to connect you to anyone who can help.

Check out this website: http://www.rainbowresourcecentre.org

Search for gay help Winnipeg, there are quite a few resources. Infact the resources page on that site lists several numbers you can call.

 

Well as difficult as it may seem I think you're a really strong person. I honestly couldn't imagine going through what you have an I think you're very brave for that. (*hug*) do you think you could get your GED? Then you could maybe find a job with that? (*hug*)

 

Hey luka. You need to find your nearest school, if one is closer than go to that one, and tell what is going on to a guidance counselor. They will than proceed to call social service and your districts homeless liaison. They might be able to put you in a foster home until you are able to go to college this fall, which if your 3 years were good I am sure you will get in. You NEED to see them though because they are the only ones can do the verification which will make you an independent student, this way you can continue further education before you are 24. If you are able to get some stability, ask if you can repeat your senior year ( I am sure they will make an exception to you ). What state are you currently in? I know a few youth LGBT homeless shelters that take 18-21.

The Ali Forney Foundation has some great places and information < Home - Ali Forney >. There is also the conventant house which would be able to take you in. I know all of foundations in the California area as well. The runaway hotline can also help you. They have a bunch of information on homeless shelters and intervention programs. It's 1-800-786-2929

Please stay in touch.

P.S this may be a dark time but that does NOT mean you can not go to college, have a stable home, and live a stable life. You can pull yourself out of this and you will.

---------- Post added 25th Mar 2015 at 06:49 AM ----------

I apologize. I just realized you are in Canada. I am so sorry, I have no information on how you guys up there handle your homeless or homeless youth. You should still contact you school and tell social services. They would know how to help you.

 

This is beyond screwed up, especially in such a liberal country like Canada! As others have said, you need to try to reach out and find help. There are plenty of services out there that won't discriminate.

 

This is wrong! This story makes me incredibly sad and I can't imagine why someone would disown their children for being gay. I'm so sorry for you to have to go through this Luka and I hope that you will find people to help you and not discriminate against you. The best thing for you would be to find your cousin and ask her if you can stay while you finish your education, but then you said that you can't contact her. It's good your sister accepts you.

I think for a future you need to try and finish your education and so just try and speak to councillors and other people who might actually support you. You are also amazingly strong and you can get through this by reaching out to others, it's good you are a part of empty closets because you can talk to people and that already helps.

 

Unfortunately I am not a millionaire, otherwise I would come get you and give you what you need to live and start the life you want to start.

That is really fucked up that you were kicked out. But I have to say, it is good you are out of that house now and away from those people who obviously were no family to you.

I agree the school counselors should be able to help you at least find a place to stay for a while.

You can also get in contact with any of the LGBT organizations nearest you for advice and possible help. I don't know where you are, otherwise I would look up some phone numbers for you.

Let us know how things go with you!

 

(*hug*) i'm sorry to hear this...nobody should ever have this happen to them! (*hug*)

Have you tried to contact your cousin? Sounds like she could be helpful. Try talking to a teacher or consoler. I hope things get better for you!
(*hug*)

 

This broke my heart to read this. All i can say is to never give up and try to find someone that could help. I hope things improve for you!

 

(*hug*)

 

Wow. This was truly sad to read. While saddened, I can't say "shocked" -- this from being around homophobic people myself. I don't know if any could actually throw their kids out of the house if they turned out to be gay, but its a scary thought.

There've been some good suggestions here, hopefully something will work out for you soon. Another one is try a google search of something like: winnipeg glbt youth center.

You also mentioned you have family that lives in Alberta... I know its a really long distance but if it all came down to it would there be any chances there? I remember reading somewhere that the job market in Alberta was fairly good?

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edit:
As for where to get free WiFi: Try a Public Library (I know atleast here in the US it is very common for them to have it)

 

ThisIsLuka,

What an outrage. I'm sorry but your supposed family needs to be ...nevermind ..I just don't have anything kind to add there. If I had a child, I just cannot possibly see or understand in anyway how the love I had for that child could end. Did Jesus ever say throw your kids away if they're gay?...I don't friggin think so.

Well I"m sorry this has happened to you. Its terrible. But you seem to be doing the best you can to stay positive and climb up out of your troubles and on to a better life. There is a whole community of people are out there waiting to live with you and love you just as you are, you only need to reach out and do your part and it will be found. Don't despair, get angry ..you have a right to be ...only use that angry energy in a positive way to turn your life around.

Now on to some hopefully useful ideas....
First of all..Im in the United States ...I don't know the laws in Canada but that would be my first suggestion. Maybe even find an attorney you can visit if they offer free initial consultations or have free legal aid of somekind on the net or in Canada. Find out everything you can on the laws pertaining to your situation. Read about the law on your phone. See if theres anything you can do to work things in your favor.

For example, you are 18. Where I live the legal age of adult is 19, are you still considered a child in Canada? I know in the United States anyone who abandons or neglects a child gets aquainted with the inside of a jail cell. While you might not want that, and its obviously a last resort, if your parents are still legally financially responsible for you...then I suggest you use the law to force it. Even if it only gets you support for a few months, it might be long enough to let you finish school and get prepared.

If you are considered an adult, consider your options:
1) Contact agencies and organizations in your area who can help.
2) Human interest story...contact local media, television and newspaper. Tell them what happened. Its something to do and maybe you'll fit into a gay rights story someone is already working on and give you more exposure and more local chances in your area for help.
3) Maybe try kickstarter or one of those other crowdsource funding websites. I know I've read of that happening before where a gay teen was kicked out of his home and he got what like $90,000 US. Even if you don't bank big, maybe you can get a few people to get you enough to at least get you back on your feet.
4) Be honest, get as much exposure as you possibly can, let your story be heard. The more people who read and learn of your situation, the more chances you have of someone helping you in some way, financially, emotionally, whatever.
5) Can you join the military? or a PeaceCorp? ----I don't know what military opportunites they have in Canada...Iknow in America they have military and for young people they have AmeriCorp which is something you can commit to for 2 years and they give you a place to live, pay you and give you money for school and in return you do work for local community. If they have some kind of equivalent program like that in Canada, that might give you something to build upon.
6) Coming to America - If Canada don't wanna help you then see if theres something over here you can get on board with.
7) I don't care if people flame me for this, but LIE TO YOUR PARENTS. LOOK THEM RIGHT IN THE EYE AND LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH! tell them you are confused, that you need therapy, tell them you visited a clergyman and he helped you "pray the gay away" and now you're cured (yes, we all know that isn't possible) ...but if they buy it and let you move back in long enough so you can at least get your bearings and not be homeless ..who cares? Lying might not be the nicest thing, but then neither is booting your child out on their ass for the way they were born...So Touche.

Don't despair...get mad ..share your story ...write a damn book...march in the streets....fight!...you will survive!

I hope at least one of my ideas helped. Remember, you can have anything you want out of life...ANYTHING....just desire it and it will be yours.

GOODLUCK
SCANNER