Gay and unattractive?

Hi there! Do me a favor--look in your nearest mirror. Assuming you are a human being with a reflection, do you still have a head? A face, even? You do? Then CONGRATS--that's a great face you got there! A body too? You're battin' a thousand, friend.

(Tell yourself how great you are every time you look in a mirror! There are so many people on the planet, someone out there is bound to like what you've got!)

 

I'm sleepy so I will keep this short.
1. Exercise
2. Wear nice clothes
3. Ask for a nice hair cut
4. Remember you are doing this for yourself. Respect yourself first.
5. Profit.

 

^
Only do it if YOU want this. The thing is that changing without you wanting it, for somebody at example, is not worth it. You have to think what you want to eventually change.

 

i bet you are more attractive than you even think..
I do not know - and have not seen - any ugly people
everyone is individual
everyone is beautiful
including YOU

 

Being "attractive" is a complicated concept. Even ideal looking guys aren't attractive 100% of the time. Sometimes you see a really great looking guy and he ends up being such a jerk that the next time you see him he looks ugly because that is the part you remember about him. You have to find out what your best traits are. Some guys with ugly faces are considered hot because they have worked out and have a great body. No one even remembers the ugly face when they think about them. Also, being the best you can be is attractive in itself because it shows you have drive and are willing and able to overcome all obstacles.

 

I agree with this post. I have met people when at first I thought they were attractive but after getting to know them (those with bad personality) would appear so bad and unattractive onward. The opposite is true also, there were people who I never paid attention to their looks, but after getting to know their sweet personalities, they seemed very attractive. Specially when they smiled.
I suggest you be nice and smile :icon_bigg

-Rey

 

Just be who you want to be. No matter what you have to look in that mirror and say "Hey handsome." no matter what it takes.

 

attractiveness is subjective. being convinced that you are physically undesirable generally impacts on your body language and low self esteem tends to make us look withdrawn and unconfident. when i find someone attractive the way they look plays a very small part... i notice the way they sit and hold themselves, if they maintain or avoid eye contact, how they speak, their intellect and their humour. someone could be ripped and model-pretty but if they turn around and come out with something vacuous or offensive it's an immediate turn off. people who are self assured and believe in themselves don't need to be typically good looking. ignore what you think you see in the mirror. tell yourself you're damn hot and act accordingly. there's a difference between vanity and self worth. people will respond.

 

I feel you, hon! I've had this thought in my head for the longest time, so I can relate. Up until recently I thought (well, to be honest, I still think that sometimes... but rarely) that my physical appearance was what caused all my insecurities and was the main reason for my low self-esteem. And it probably was/is. I hated that I was not blessed with a good look, I hated that I couldn't be as pretty as the other guys. Honestly, I even hated other guys just for being hot. But what was really putting me down was me. I was the one who was telling myself that I was ugly, that I was not good enough for anyone, only because I was below average looking and that no one would ever like me.
One day, after thinking about how I will end up all alone, just because I don't match the criteria of sexy/hot/attractive and throwing myself another pity part, I just said to myself - listen, you may not be as pretty and you may be weird as fuck, but you are witty, you've got great sence of humour, you are kinda intelligent, you can be a nice person (when you want to be one), you're goofy which is kinda adorable, so get your shit together and stop complaining, because after all you're not that bad. And if someone doesn't like you and thinks that you are not worthy solely based on how you look, then they are the ones who have problem, because you still are a great catch.

So... I tell you, my friend, you are beautiful! You may not be the sexiest beast, you may not end up on the cover of a beauty magazine, but you are you and you are beautiful in your own way. And you are other important things, too! And remember - 'You is kind, you is smart, you is important!' (*hug*)

 

There are always going to be people that don't find you attractive. The trick to being attractive to a larger group of people is to first find yourself attractive. No, this isn't going to happen over night, especially not when you've been thinking the other way for any length of time. [im not even all the way there, yet] But start with something simple. Look at your hair, the easiest thing to change. Is it too short, and makes your face look chubby? Grow it out. Make it frame your face. Is it too long, making your forehead greasy and zitty? Cut it. Dye it. Or, maybe you like it how it is. There ya go, then! You found one thing to like. Just keep going like that until you like a lot more things. And remember, some things you won't be able to manipulate. That's fine. I don't particularly like the fact that I have bags under my eyes. They won't go away, even with make up. But I like my eyes themselves. They're full of light and happiness.

You'll get there. And the closer you get, the more people will be attracted to you as friends and lovers. You're extraordinary. [:

 

Totally understand where you're coming from. I guess I'm just lazy or depressed about my stupid body but I don't even bother getting in shape. I never had that kind of training for fitness either because as a child I never played sports (kinda the dorky kid type). I was very emotionally sensitive as a kid. But meh whatever I get by. I'm a freaking skinny twig though and I've always kind of despised that about myself. For much of my childhood I was very envious of guys I found attractive. I would be lying if I said I still don't feel envious of attractive guys. But frankly it could be a lot worse lol. But what with my weird scoliosis chest/back thing, ridiculously sweaty hands (yay hyperhidrosis fuck my life), and lack of mass I just hate my body as I always have :/
I look at all these beautiful attractive guys and wonder why I couldn't have been born...better. I feel kind of like I got the short end of the stick when it comes to genetics. I just have so many problems. I wish I could take my mind and conscience and just move to a better body. You have no idea how much I wanted that when I was seriously depressed. I kind of get sick about the whole 'you're beautiful' and 'you're perfect the way you are' because in my mind I'm not even close and it makes me frustrated and just disappointed.

 

I don't know dude, you look pretty good. It all depends on preference man. There's a lot of men and woman that would think you're sexy. I'm not into big, buff dudes myself. Don't let other dudes get to you. Most anime dudes are really skinny but lots of people think they're hot as hell. (I'm not into anime that much, but yeah they're pretty hot.)

I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. :eusa_whis


Have a great day.

 

Everyone has some quality that makes the attractive. I have always thought of myself as being on the low end of average. Last fall, I met a guy who invited me to go to the school gym with him. I thought he was cute, but he didn't know that. Eye Candy. The exercise really helped boost my self-esteem and I have lost 50lbs as a bonus.
I don't look all that different in my opinion. My friends say I do, but I can't tell. I do know that I am a lot more confident, and I have been called "sexy". I think people who think I am sexy probably need to visit an ophthalmologist, but I'm not going to stop them.
All of this to say that everyone is attractive in some way. The trick is finding people who are willing to see you for who you are. Confidence is a big boost. If you act like you look good, people will believe that you do.

 

Should it matter what others think of you? I mean personally I think everybody has felt that at some point in their lives. Who says you're ugly anyways? Nobody except you given by what you've written and with that being said, only you can solve this. Stop over thinking things and smile at life. You're beautiful either way. Hope this helps.

Peace

 

I've been struggling with this for a long time. First I have to come to terms with myself as a person, THEN I'll be able to find someone.
Imagine what would happen if I was dating with someone right now: I would be worrying my ass off about everything I say and do, and I would be hung up on whether or not I'm good enough for my partner. Eventually it would be a cause of break-up, because I'd annoy the fuck outta him/her.
My goal is to be my personal best, and not relying on other people's approval. I don't want my sense of worth being based on wheteher or not someone likes me.

 

Being attractive is more than half down to confidence to me. Before i came out and accepted shit everyone said i was ugly etc etc. When i came out and got my head together everyone suddenly says how good looking i am, and all thats actually changed is my mindset.

Another example. I used to work in a gay bar, and i got stupid amounts of attention when i was working cos thats where im confident and i had a swagger about me. Same bar, but when i wasnt working id have the opposite reaction from some people. My boyfriend has said to me too that hes never felt so good looking than he does now cos hes happy.

What im trying to say is yes being physically attractive is good, but being happy and confident will count for much more. I find if i feel ugly ill buy a new pair of jeans or a jumper and ill feel like i look better and that makes me happier too. Just little things can make all the difference.

One last thing, the first thing ill notice about someone is whether they look up or at the ground when they walk. Its a big sign of confidence and makes a huge difference to me.

 

Confidence actually doesn't make one appear attractive. It's all physical. I've been called attractive by people but I don't believe a word of it. Confidence just makes you obnoxious. Looks are what matters in the people. No one stays with an unattractive mate no matter how engaging they may be.

 

there's an obvious difference between confidence and arrogance - ego-based arrogance comes from overcompensating for low self esteem and insecurity; confidence is based in self-assuredness and has an impact on everything, from the way we engage and relate to other people, to our body language and behaviour and speech, and yes, it does make you more attractive. none of my long term relationships had anything to do with their looks.

 

I'm sure you would like to believe that but it doesn't. Only the outside appearance matters the most. Doesn't matter how confident an ugly person is they are still ugly.