Freudian Slips

I sent my buddy a message that said "Merry Christmas and all that jazz."

He read "Merry Christmas and all that jizz."

 

I don't usually have those, but I do remember a time in seventh grade where the teacher meant to say "Grab your sheets" but trailed off at the end and said "Grab your shit" instead. Being stupid little seventh graders, we giggled all day long.

 

freudian or not, i have one:
we were watching a tv commercial and they show the temp on a sign that reads 103 degrees farenheight.
i meant to say "thats hot", but it came out as "thats expensive"
LOL

 

*headdesk*

I was leaving dance today and waved to my friend Ariana. My teacher calls her Peanut because when she was little she would arch her back and look like... a peanut. I meant to say "Bye, Peanut" and I swear, for some reason I almost, almost said "Bye, Pussy." I had opened my mouth to speak and then thought Wait....

I don't know why! but it freaked me out a little to think of what would happened if I had said it.

 

HAHAHAHA wow. That would have been awkward.

 

omg! i just laughed so hard!

 

OH MY!!!! This just reminded me of a very embarrasing incident when I was working in a cafe over the summer. We were really busy and stressed out, I wasn't really listening and someone ordered a Mezza plate. I'm aweful at spelling as it is and always think faster than I write so ended up writing, you can probably guess "Lezza" down on the order! Luckily I noticed in time to change it very quickly - just so pleased my boss didn't notice!!!!! :S So embarassing!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

"When I was a young girl, I worked in a supermarket"

 

hahahahahahahaha lmao

that's brilliant xD

 

i wish i could think of one but they are so amazing <33

 

I was in a church group once and used the word muncher instead of Rat as in rug rat when describing kids..... whoops :icon_redf

 

one time, i was supposed to say hobo, but instead i said homo...lol that was quite embarassing

 

What I somehow typed in place of "Feeding Ducks" Should not be repeated...

 

a man was once talking to his friend who had been married for several years

"yesterday i pulled a freudian slip at the airport. i asked for two prickets to titsberg"

the other man replies "ive done that too with my wife, this morning instead of saying pass the orange juice i said you ruined my life, bitch"

 

omg! ROFLWAFFLE! hilarious!

 

I was in my piano lesson yesterday and I was talking to my teacher about the oral exam. I meant to say bitonal, but what actually came out was, you guessed it, bisexual.

It was so awkward it was untrue.

 

A few months ago, at a LGBT communion service, the minister wanted to announce that a song was to be sung to the tune of "Danny-Boy". Instead, he said "Danny's Boy". Hoots and titters disrupted the service for a few minutes.

 

When I first met my sister's soon-to-be-ex-husband, I introduced myself as her "little sister."

In English class two years ago, some people acting out a scene from the book 1984 where the main characters are told to "put your hands in the air and do not touch each other." The girl who delivered the line said "Put your hands in the air and do not touch yourselves."

Perhaps less of a true Freudian slip but still funny, one time a few of us were at school during a teacher-in-service day when all the teachers come in to do stuff in more casual clothes. My friend (a girl) is in the office and the principal (a male) enters. My friend says to the principal: "You look weird in clothes."

 

I went to my brothers school to pick up his homework and said I'm his brother... The teacher gave me a weird look.

the other two made me laugh so hard, the last one especially. That must have been awkward, lol!

 

when i was in the mall with my friend kaylee, i was gonna tell her that this guy was "cute" and the words "kinda hot" came out at the same time, so it was like "that guy is crot"...and she just laughed and was like "wtf is crot?"...dont ask...cuz i have no idea how i got that word....