Freudian Slips

What I said (What I ment)

Hand me the rule book? ya, the Shiny toast. (Hand me the rule book? ya, the Golden Host.) [Funny if you LARP with the White Wolf books*

Steven, hand me the dick of cards. (Steven, hand me the deck of cards.)

Thats a beutefule whore! (thats a beuteful horse!)

*and funny enough...I havent had the orgasem/organism mistake...*

 

I've said "Diet Cock" a couple of times, but I think that's about it.

 

Once in class I was trying to get the teachers attention.

Unfortunately her name resembles the word grandmother.

Luckily she thought it was hilarious that I called her grandma.

 

Okay, so we were in a prayer circle kinda thing (ironically) and my friend said out loud to the forty or so teens/adults there, something like, "This is a wonderful opportunity for bondage." (she meant bonding) hehe...we all laughed and teased her for a while

Another one: my friend told about this. She was at a restuarant with her family and her dad was ordering a meal called a dillo steak (like armadillo)....yet he said to the waitress that he'd like a "Dildo steak." My friend tried not to laugh, but her mom started laughing, my friend laughed, and the waitress laughed and her dad was embarrassed.

Those are the only two I can remember right now...but I know my friends and I are quite prone to these slips...

 

I called my best friend Steph yesterday... (My sisters name is steph...) She found it hilarious though =p

 

I was hanging out with some friends. This is the conversation.

Friend #1: Hey Lezzie
Friend #2: What?!
Friend #1: Oh! I'm so sorry. I meant to say Leslie, but I said Lezzie!

It was pretty funny.

 

No Freudian slips that I'm aware of but I'm writing a psychology paper about Freud. :lol:

 

I knew someone with the last name "Bona" and someone accidentally called him "Mr. Boner"

In junior high someone said "Well that's obvious, it's like how everyone knows 2+2=5" That person wasn't mathematically challenged.

As far as name mixups, my dad mixes up names all the time and calls me by my brother's name, or my uncle's name.

I have a female friend of mine named "S". At work I had a female coworker named "J" who somewhat reminded me of S. I had gotten into a bit of a disagreement with S and at work when talking to my boss about work that I had given to J I called her S. My boss said "Well I know what you're thinking about"

 

I have a lot of these but this one is not a Freudian Slip, just plain bizarre:

While walking into a store, me and my mom were talking about what's for dinner. She said she was making Swedish meatballs earlier that day, so I said:

"So, are you still making Swedish meatballs for dinner?"

In an Irish accent. :eusa_doh:

I have no idea where it came from, since I'm not Irish nor have I ever visited in Ireland. What was even more strange it that my accent was dead on.

 

These are so funny. If my mom walks in she's gonna think I'm insane.

So we were discussing Rugrats, that old TV show, and my friend was like "I'm so obsessed with Rugrats!" And she started naming off all the Rugrats movies and merch she has. And you know the little brother, Dill? I have a baby doll of him, and I meant to say "I have a Dill doll," but I said "I have a dildo..." They laughed at me for ages.

 

Me too... I accidently said "Micro-orgasms" in one of my Biology lessons back in 05 as well..haha!

 

Heh... one time, I told my dad he was "sickening," when I really meant that he was getting sick. :lol:

 

ohh, I can't think of one. I don't say them that much. I think with them it's the more you try not to say them the more it happens. lol

 

I was trying to type something out, I don't remember what it was. Anyways, everytime I'd try and type 'it' I would end up with 'tit'.

No comment.

 

This never happened to me but it is an interesting little tidbit of information. Scott Adams, the creator of the Dilbert comics originally named his dog character Dildog but later changed it to Dogbert because he thought too many people would mistakenly call it Dildo.

 

I did that once. It turned out horrendous. -.-

"I tried to grab tit, but tit moved."

 

Lmao, that just made my day.

When I was typing, it came out something like

"Would you look at tit?"

Then, just as I was typing this instead of typing "Lmao, that just made my day", I typed "Lmao, that just made my dad" at first, but I fixed it.

 

I do that all the time when I'm watching television or listening to a song and sorta paying attention to both what I'm tying and what they're saying. Like, I'll totally type what I'm trying to say, post it, and then realize that I actually said something that the television or song just said without even realizing it. xD

 

Great, now that I read everyone's I'll probably get some XD

I think I've had a few, but none ever bad XD and usually I kinda catch myself and so it looks kinda weird cause I stop in the middle of the sentence XD

 

I'm such a nerd that when I type something up, I read it over a few times, just to make sure I typed what I wanted to and I didn't have any slips.

Oh, this is kind of a slip. My science teacher was explaining chemical equations and she had to write hydroxide's symbol (OH) on the board. She wrote it backwards, so it read HO...