First Time With a Guy

Gotta get my kicks somehow, I'm in something of a drought myself right now

 

For receiving anal intercourse: I remember is that despite being pretty accepting of myself and actually anticipating enjoying it, I had a flash of fear and doubt. Both when I was going there and then when we were about to 'do it'.
But it was different than my repression. It was more like "If you do this, there is no turning back, you are fully gay, you are making the choice". Like one last desperate attempt of that repressed self to keep up the facade. When he first entered me it was that feeling and some slight physical pain at the same time, then I relaxed and he went deeper and the agony and regret shifted to pleasure.

And after I was thinking yes that fear was right, there is no turning back, but instead of regret I felt like a new person.

 

"If you do this there is no turning back you are gay" I think nearly everyone says that to themselves when they are having their first experiences of gay sex. Maybe for some it turns out to be not as good as they thought it might, for others it's the start of a liberating experience to fully accepting we are gay.

 

Funny hearing how you guys were nervous about the first time ‘taking it’. I think it’s the same for every straight girl too. If I do this, I’m a slut, I’m easy, I might get pregnant, what if it hurts, will he still respect me etc

I’ve always wondered what 5th base is like…. I wonder if a woman can really get much out of it?

 

There just seems all sorts of stigma associated with being penetrated and being the receptive partner in a sexual act.
For guys it’s probably about being/feeling/perceived as unmanly in some way, not fulfilling the dominant masculine role and whatnot - which can also carry very real social consequences.

For girls, well, what you said, plus the stigma mentioned, then throw in the nonsensical and ignorant ideas some people have about sexually active women (and women in general), also the possibility of consequences of being labelled a slut.

In theory, from an anatomical point of view, there just might be. Anus has a myriad of nerve endings, hence it’s a pretty sensitive place, so certain kinds of stimulation might be really pleasant. (Like rimming, if your partner is up for that) Also, there’s possibility of indirectly stimulating the anterior fornix trough anal penetration, which can be a very pleasant sensation, and I’ve heard accounts that clitoris (most of which is inside the body) can be stimulated the same way.
There’s really only one way of finding out if any of it works for you

 

I should have expected that…. It totally sounds like something I’d say.

Without giving TMI, it hasn’t been totally ignored by previous partners, and I guess in the moment it added an extra dimension. But there’s a big difference between a fingertip and you know what. I guess I don’t need to tell you that

 

I obviously can't compare it, but it immediately became my favorite type of sex. I don't even care if I 'get off' in the usual male way.

I have heard this a lot. I had a lot of difficulty accepting I was gay, but once I did this wasn't a big hurdle. I just saw it as a way of expressing love with someone you want to be close to.

 

Hmmmm. That was what I was kinda expecting. I mean, I can't imagine its going to be as good (for me) as doing it the conventional way.... But if it feels good in some sense, rather than just uncomfortable or outright unpleasant then maybe it is worth trying.

 

Hey Searching-- at the risk of hijacking this thread, can I ask you what helped you finally accept it? Did the physical desire come before the romantic desire for you, or was it at the same time? I've yet to make a proper introduction thread for myself, but my journey seems similar to yours (albeit mine is just at the very beginning)

 

You definitely need to prep for it, and keep lubed. When it first goes in sometimes it might be a little tight but after that it's mind blowing orgasmic!
You might want to try a toy first?

 

Hi, Welcome!
My original thread I posted here shows the progression I was convinced I wasn't gay and just had a 'problem'.
https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/private-vs-public-sexuality-question.490739/

I never would ever expected myself to accept that I was gay and even relish it, but mainly I realized it was fear of what other people think that was holding me back.

Posting a thread introducing yourself and questions is a great idea, I would be happy to answer any!

 

What do you fantasize about? What if you were in a city where you knew no one it was very LGBT friendly and you saw one of your fantasies and had a chance to act on it?

a very common progression I have seen here:

• "I am straight - I like women they are beautiful, I only fantasize about male body parts, so I am not gay"
• Yes,those fantasies are more intense than anything i have about women.
• Well now that you asked, yes, I sometimes have to think about a guy while having sex with my girlfriend.
• Ok, now I am fantasizing about more than body parts.
• Ok, someone asked to imagine one of my sexual fantasies and kissing him and saying I love you, and my heart raced, so maybe I have romantic fantasies too.
• It's really weird, my attraction to women has faded

 

I went from fearing and denying being gay to incredible happiness about it. After years of denial I wanted to do something to affirm it to me the first time was almost like a ritual of rejecting and throwing off the mask of denial.

 

Is that what you did? To be honest DIY kinda takes the excitement out of the idea.

 

I think you've hit the nail right on the head. I've felt pretty much all of these things at some point. Sometimes only a few, sometimes all at the same time . It seems to constantly fluid, although the fantasies never really go away. I do indeed imagine what it's like to have a boyfriend, but I'm not sure if that's an orientation thing, or that I'm just a relationship-oriented person (rather than casual hookups).

 

The way you describe your underwhelming experience reminds me of the first time I was with a man.
In the backseat of a car, not feeling safe, no foreplay.
Needless to say I didn't enjoy it - did not even become aroused!
As close to rape as you can get.
I couldn't believe a sex experience could be that Nothing.

 

I met someone who wanted me to pull into a parking lot—of a church! I returned him to our meeting place.

 

Technical question, if you don't mind. Is it easier with the real thing than a toy? You know, because it slides back & forward partly within it's own skin, where a toy is a solid object? I'm sure you guys know what I mean.

(And sorry for the intrusion once again on your gay thread, I just don't have anyone else to ask. And I know I should probably just try it and find out and instead of thinking about it)

 

Sorry for the classic answer, but it depends! There's a lot of variance between penises and toys. Some are firmer than others, and (penises only now) some are circumcised. I like your thinking on the skin part, but, having experienced both cut and uncut, I don't think it makes any difference to the receiver but it does for the giver.

The advantage of toys is that you can start with small toys, get comfortable, and work up to larger toys including ones that will be bigger than most men. Obviously that progression would be very hard to do with men.

The other advantage is that you're completely in control of the toy, so you can become used to the sensations and your pace. An understanding man will know to take his time, and to listen to you, but there are guys that just go for broke the moment they're lined up.

As the sexual prime of guys is 18, their erections will gradually become less firm as they age. Toys, by and large, will be like the rock hard 18 year olds, though silicone ones will have some give. This means that you're likely be able to manage a slightly larger penis than toy.