Met a woman, online, couple of weeks ago. Now, she's not my type at all, I mean she's cute and in good shape, but just not the type of woman I'm attracted to. It's good practice for me to correspond with women, online; gets me to dip my toe in the water, but I notice I build them up in my own head. I'm more attracted to the possibility, than the reality. At one point I even thought about politely declining this woman and moving on, because she wasn't my type. Fast-forward to me sticking around to try and our conversations going so well, we agree to meeting up. She sent me some pics of her, including her breasts, but I couldn't do the same, so I sent one of my cleavage. LOL. She does say I play hot-and-cold and can sense that this scares me (I haven't been w/a woman and she has). We got into a little tiff over the weekend, apologized to each other and agreed to move forward, but after, it didn't feel the same and hasn't. When I'm left unsure over someone, I feel anxious and scared. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship I have, if I don't know where I stand, I hate it. I reached out to her today to ask if she'd still be interested in meeting up, but that if I didn't hear back from her, I would understand (after our "fight"). The possibility of rejection is something I hate. Waiting on email that may never come. I refresh my phone a lot. I hate it. I have yet to hear back from her. I posted on another site, more of one geared towards a friendship and rec'd some responses, but the last one sent me back to reality: Why are you so upset about the apparent demise of a relationship w/a woman you haven't even met yet? The odds are you would have met her in real life and not even liked her. This person then advises me to get back to life or else drive myself crazy pontificating over it. He reminded me I hadn't factored in the part that I have yet to meet this women IRL. And that's helped me not only with this instance, but realize I do this in general. I put all relationships on a pedestal, like it's a shiny piece of gold in the middle of a barren desert. I've done this before, even with men, but it's totally amplified with women. Does anyone else do this? Romanticize the POSSIBILITY of relationships? I've idealized people who were poor for me. It's so tough when you're doing that, to know that you're doing it. I'm glad that guy was straight up and mentioned it to me. And even though I know I'm doing it now, it's so easy to fall back into that pattern. It's so difficult to see your own behavior.