Do your friends think your gay?

All my friends know I'm gay. As do my family, neighbours, window cleaner....

It's easier being out to new people that you meet in life because they have never known you as not out. So in a new job or whatever I am always out from day one.

So I think going from school to work or college could be a good opportunity to be out straight away. Though if a load of people from school are starting at the same college at the same time, that's not so easy.

 

For my future use, how are you 'out from day one'? Thats what i plan to do, but, like do you just walk up to someone and be like, "Hi, I'm new here. I'm gay"?????

 

I don't really want my friend to know or find out by someone else
"am gay"
And am happy the way i am:love:
(&&&)

 

That works but it's usually a little more subtle to say, "Hey, that guy's pretty hot!" or "So do you know any good gay clubs around here?"

It's really QUITE simple--I've never understood why people think it's so difficult. Just think about how heterosexual people indicate they're straight--because even though they have no need to, they do ALL the time.

 

My approach is to answer any questions honestly, but without making a big deal of it. For example when I started at my previous job I had this sort of conversation a few times:

Are you married?

No, but I've lived with my partner for x years.

Ohh, what's her name and what does she do?

His name is Mark and he works at Woolworths.

Reactions vary, but normally it causes the questioner to pause momentarily then take the conversation to "safer" territory, such as "Where did you work before you started here?".

That's fine for me. They know, it's not a big deal, and I can get on with what I'm being paid for.

If you're lucky or crafty, one of the people you'll have this conversation with will be the company gossip. Then the whole place will know within a week and you won't have to bother about it. I made a point of finding out who the gossip was (by asking the receptionist) and managed to be at the coffee machine just as she was getting drinks for her whole department.

The idea is not to half-answer questions to avoid things, but not to make a big deal of the situation either. Act as though you being gay and (if you are lucky) having a male partner is just no different to them being straight and married.

The only thing that makes it slightly tricky is that there are not that many words/phrases for "same sex partner". Straights have "the wife", "the missus" etc, but we either "partner" which is not gender specific, or "boyfriend" which is fine when you're in your teens and 20s but not really when you're in your 40s! Since he has an obviously male name, I just referred to him as "Mark".

 

Well before I told them I am sure they suspected. I had never had a gf and never really showed much interests in girls. I would answer if a girl was hot or not if they asked me but I never really brought up girls. And I am sure some of them have caught me staring at a hot guy if he happens to walk by. I cant help it if my eyes catch on to a hot dude. Its just so hard not to check them out lol. I'm not super flamboyant or femme or anything. I am actually quite masculine. And I would always make gay jokes. Which always made their eyes open wide and they gave me a look like. Yeah totally gay or could he be gay? It was fun actually playing with straight guys. lol

 

I never showed interest in any girls either. My mother seems worried about me because of this.

Anyway, my situation is quite perplexing as it ranges from people thinking I am gay to people thinking I am a homophobe. I guess maybes that is a result of my behavior when the topic of gay is mentioned, I pretend to act uncomfortable with it. People also think I am gay when they first meet me because I put on a semblance of a perfect gentlemen. I tell people I don't curse, hit, yell, talk dirty,etc. I guess it is kinda unusual to act this way but I do it so I seem like a WASP and therefore cannot be gay. However, some students didn't understand and thought it was gay. They eventually get used to it and stop thinking I was gay.

 

They always ask me am i gay becuse i like to touch guys and hug on them and grab there butts etc.

 

well until recently I assumed that ALL of my friends had at LEAST a suspision... but then i came out to my best friend and had to spend 15 minutes getting her to actually believe me... what a surprise to me!!
Now I have decided to not worry about if they know or not. I will tell them all eventually, and until then, if they know or don't is out of my control.

 

LOL! At my marching band, the guys, who are straight, are the ones who grab each other's ends. I've never done that. Personally, I think it's just immature, but hey, it's highschool. LOL! :icon_razz

Anyways, I forgot to mention that unfortunately, with me not wanting people to know about my homosexuality, I'm the typical gay guy as portrayed in propagando and stereotypes: very feminine, touchy-feely, kissy-pooh, purple and fuchsia, and all that other stuff. So, to finally answer the question in the original post, most people at my school, including those who don't know me or don't know me personally, will easily point me out and suspect that I'm gay (without thinking further what that actually means. They just see what they'd learned in the stereotype to be gay). Although I'm not sure if they actually know that I'm gay. Barely any of my friends, except for a few girl friends in choir who are close to me, know.

This is a very interesting case, and I have something to relate to it with. In a chat room, I always told my enemies (don't ask!) that I hate swearing and hate being perverted, that I like to speak grammaically correctly and all. Even though they already think that I am gay (I didn't tell them anything), they went on talking about how I'm the typical gay guy for not liking to swear. They were like, "oh, normal teenage guys swear, and talk about boobs, and don't act all kind and nice and gentle, and all that. But I guess your gay, so it's not surprising you're like that," and so on and so forth. From this, I wonder if that too is a part of the "gay stereotype," that gay guys are more "proper" and hate swearing. Hmm...

 

LOL...I generally swear a lot.

 

Most of my friends and people around my school dont think Im gay. Im kind of a guys' guy. I like the outdoors and all that typical male stuff. If anyone doubts that im hetero. I just ignore it and they back off. That and I ive had more girls approach me than any of my other guy friends.

My two best friends know im gay. One of them really, really liked this girl once, but she really liked me. Then me and her started 'talking' and my friend said 'God fucking hates me!'.

 

Hi, Bobby! Welcome to Empty Closets! Hope you have enjoyed your first visit. Come back anytime you need or would like to have a discussion, k? (*hug*)

LOL! That must have been really bad luck for your friend. I've had that happen to me too quite some times. Girls just go for me instead of their lovers. Hehe, I guess there's some kind of Charm in us gay and bi guys that isn't in straight guys. Pretty soon, we'll be stealing girlfriends too. LOL!!(!) (!)

Yep, it'll fun to see their reaction... :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum:

 

All of my closest friends know (8 girls 1 guy) and some other people who are slowly starting to suspect (1 girl 1 guy)....btw thats a good thing to me, which you'd know if youve been reading my posts. But as ive said before....at first glance im not tooo obvious...i do have alot of the sterotypes, but you have to be looking closely.

 

well...so far into my wonderful new life only my very best friend knows and its taken forever for him to figure it out and i finally had to blurt it out and then he took a while for it to sink in. cause i have some of the gay characteristics and all. but you have to kinda look for them...i think...(i have been known to be wrong)... mostly im just rather more artist than many people. and my hair. part of a dare/bet/joke back in 7th grade, me and some friends decided to see who could grow their hair the longest. i am still in the lead. but only because everyone else wussed out. so now my hair is unaturally long (couple inches past the shoulders) and every girl in the school is jealous of it. dont know why...
but yeah...

i

 

me and my mates joke quite alot about gay stuff, i think that a couple of them have an idea that am gay, it was only on new years eve when one of them came out with a comment that "we wounder about u sometimes" and i asked wot he meant and he said that they have all talked about wether i was gay or not i just shruged it off but the next day it got me thinking and i was thinking of all the little things that i must do to make them wounder if am gay?? but i we all went on holiday this summer and we were at the beech and i cudnt help looking at the hot guys walking up and down the beech, and am sure on one ocasion my mate asked wot i was looking at and i cudnt reply and went bright red so i think thats when the started to get surpicious.

they proberbly do think am gay!

 

well, i don't know.. maybe yeah... they think that i'm gay... but they don't take it seriously... i mean sometimes they tease me... but anyway... i don't know



Nice topic by the way

 

I really don't know if they do...but sometimes I get the feeling they do. I haven't gone about trying to put up a front of being straight, and I at least think I've let out some hints. But my friends can be incredibly dense sometimes, so who knows if they even noticed....They're always making gay jokes and comments, so that kind of makes me think they don't think I am...

Hmm...I don't think they know for sure, but I don't think they will be surprised when I come out to them.

 

Do they know?

I've told 4 friends, out of those 4, 3 have been accepting. the 4th said "ok" and stopped talking to me, but, I guess you can't win them all....

The 3 I told said that I give hints sometimes, but they never really thought of it as me being gay. There all girls. They've said some of the guy friends I know somtimes notice, but they never think about it or want to ask me about it.

I got lucky once too, a close friend, who goes to another school across town, actually posed as my girlfriend for a day, in front of my friends, and like half the school, we held hands, she kissed me on the cheek...so I guess that I'm pretty well hidden for now.

I go to a private Catholic school. (no, we're not all spoiled, im on the finance support list :dry: alot of people think we're all spoiled :dry: )

Being at that kind of school, I need all the cover I can get.

 

hahah. yeah. most people get that impression from me.