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Dads.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Crackajack, Feb 22, 2009.

  1. Crackajack

    Crackajack Guest

    I don't know wheather it's me or just dads, But I think Bi/Gay/Transgender/Pansexual and any other sexuality..people...(?) (sorry about grammar) But i think we try to stear away from telling dads and just letting mums know, I feared about how dad would take it, it wasn't actually that bad :lol:, mind you, i sort of left a note by the bed saying...he's very...lazy :grin:, might not of read it, anyway, how do you feel about telling dads (and mums, But Dads mostly :dry:slight_smile:

    Ta.

    James
     
  2. DexterMorgan

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    I haven't told my dad yet. I don't think I need to. For over a decade, he hasn't been in my life. I started talking to him when I was about 13, and even after that we barely know each other. He's in and out of rehab, too. I totally would tell him if I knew him better, but I just can't see it happening now.
     
  3. littledinosaurs

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    Um i didn't do a formal coming out but my dad is more chill/less awkward about it.
     
  4. stilsurchin

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    OK, Emorawz. I'm 57, probably old enough to be your grandad, but I'm a dad, so go ahead and tell me as if I was your dad and then I'll respond....
     
  5. The Enigma

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    I personally disowned my father but he wouldn't have cared anymore than my mother.
     
  6. Jonah 4

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    Yeah, I think its probably socio-psychological. But, I haven't come out to my dad yet either - even though I came out to my mom and even grandmother. That said, I'm going to tell my dad over spring break(though itll be a more of a "I'm actually going to live as a gay man" coming out rather than "I'm gay" sorta thing)
     
  7. The Enigma

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    I think most people who have issues coming out to their fathers usually have confrontational fathers or live beneath a sociological barrier--but I also think the people who have the most problematic dilemma happen to be males. I think its a measurement thing between guys. A son is always 'supposed' to exceed the father and homosexuality can be thought of as a supreme failure. That's my opinion.
     
  8. Mickey

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    I agree that's it's harder coming out to your dad,when you're a guy.
    Years ago,when I came out,my father said,"I can accept it 'cause you're my daughter,but if you were my son,I'd kick your ass!" At the time,I was just glad he accepted me...and that I was a girl!
     
  9. ArcusPravus

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    I actually had a harder time with my mom knowing. I had no idea how my parents would react when i told them. Well I knew, but i couldn't envision any scenario except worse case ones. In all of those my parents would only be merely disappointed, which was a quite devestating prospect but not a worst possible coming out. However, my mom has this ability to sear through someones soul with nothing more than a glance. IT is entirly disarming and horrible to experiece, like pure malice being syphoned in a beam towards you. (Not to say my mom uses it often, I've only seen it on rare occasion and never directed at myself.) It was the worst case where going home meant having that look from her everytime that scared me most. I would be hurt with non-acceptance or disappointment from my dad, but the look of disappointment was far better than that look.
     
  10. Stuie

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    My dad is more comfortable with it than my mum actually. I think it's because he has a few gay friends and he's generally pretty liberal-minded. One of his best friends just came out and there's a whole messy divorce going on, but yeah.
     
  11. limfjord96

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    i havent told either of them, but i know my mom wont care, and i have no clue about my dad, i suspect he wont care as he has four other sons and a grip of grand kids. And u gave him many years of sports glory and all the father son stereotypes, besides im younger, quicker, faster, smarter and more fit then him, so i would just force him to be ok...lol :slight_smile:
     
  12. OneHatMadder

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    I told my Dad first.
    I never told my mum, my sister did.
    My mum started yelling at me saying:
    "Why didn't you tell me first?!"
    Hahaha.
     
  13. Janvier

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    I was kinda stressed out, my mother was terrified, she didn't want me to tell him without her by my side.
    Then, my father was talking about my (ex)girlfriend so I told him it was over and I'm into guys actually. He was like 'meh, your choice' so that was cool :slight_smile:

    My friend came out to his parents too but his mother disowned him and his very very very very masculine father completely accepts him. Weird.
     
  14. ColdSnap

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    yeah i let my mum take care of that one, mind you i'm not that close with my dad, you know it's not like i even tell him what i've done in my day so why tell him who i'm sleeping with :/
     
  15. xXHolic

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    my dad is really great! I told him "if I feel a connection with another person, I don't care about his sex and his age, we can have something more" and the only thing he told me was "be carefoul about the age thing" lol! his girlfriend has some gay friends so he is really openminder
    on the other hand, my mom just tries to convince me I'm not bi.. it is like
    me:"mom, im bisex"
    mom:"no you are not"
    me:"what do you mean"
    mom:"I know you arent. you are just confused. you will get over it"
    me:"ooookkk.."

    in my case, I think my dad's reaction is admirable!
     
  16. hiddendc4

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    i think the hardest coming out is going to be to my dad and thats only cause we are really close, i think that if i told him im bi/gay and he practically dosowns me that it would hurt even more than living a lie around him, although i dont really think that will be the case since one of my brother's best freinds is gay and my dad seems to be cool with it
     
  17. premiumheart

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    I haven't told my dad yet. But apparently, he and my mom already had the talk about what they'd do "if I was gay". And from what she said, he'd be very supportive. I plan to tell him soon since we're really close and I don't want him left in the dark.

    But yeah, I think that we sorta really tell moms first because they're the caring ones in the family. The dad's usually the stricter one who expects a lot from us and whatnot. It's defo psychological.
     
  18. Filip

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    My dad sadly passed away a few years ago, so it's a moot point. But I think he would have been okay with it more than my mom. My mom would probably be okay with it eventually, but I think my dad would have immediately accepted it.

    I find the idea of him not being around to calm down my mother makes it harder to come out...
     
  19. kramer362

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    I don't plan on ever coming out to my dad. He's highly religious and for some reason I always remember him being pretty passionate about thinking homosexuality is an immoral choice. I'm not sure what made him that way but it's not worth the drama or stress it would put me under since I only talk to him 2-3 times per year anyway, even though he lives 5 minutes away.
     
  20. LyraLissa

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    My dad was a ray of sunshine about it- it was my mom I was and still am concerned about..
    Probably 'cause I'm a girl, though. I think she has trouble understanding it because I'm supposed to grow up just like she did... and I'm not.
    ~Lyra