Corrupt A Wish

Granted however the price of that is every time you speak you lose a small
Piece of your tounge. Eventually your tounge will be gone entirely. Make gud use of it while it lasts.

I wish my hair wasn’t so fucking long.

 

Granted. You have no hair and will never have hair.

I wish I could see my friends again.

 

Granted but they all hate you because you spread the virus to them.

I wish I could change my eye color at will

 

Granted but you can only change it from brown to lighter brown.

I wish climate change wasn't a thing.

 

Granted it’s 150 degrees outside all the time everywhere on the planet. I wonder how long till we die of dehydration ?

I wish I could fine a cute lil pride bracelet to wear this month.

 

Granted but it's cursed and insnares you in rainbow weavery. At least it's pretty.

I wish pride parades weren't cancelled.

 

Granted. However they have all been moved to Antarctica. At least there’s gay penguins there tho?

I wish I hadn’t been so insecure and talked to my crush earlier in the year.

 

Granted but they reject you.

I wish I wasn't bound by society's traditional circadian rhythyms.

 

Granted your no longer bound by society at all. However that means you slowly lose what it means to be part of society. You devolve into a primal human state and can only grunt randomly.

I wish my wrist wasn’t fucked up from breaking it a lot.

 

Granted, your arm ends at the elbow. No wrist to worry about !

I wish I had a longer attention span.

 

Granted you now pay every single thought the exact same amount of attention. Which is 2 hours. Don’t think to much or u might not get to work

I wish I had the confidence to dye my hair

 

Granted, but it looks terrible.

I wish I had more queer gear for pride month.

 

Granted but whenever I put it on it makes u cough a lot. Think ppl will come near u?

I wish soccer would start back up

 

Granted but it's way too restrictive and ridiculous, the ball has to be sanitized every time someone kicks it.

I wish light pollution was tamped down so I could see the stars.

 

Granted light pollution has been eradicated hurray! You can now see all the stars but uhmmm wat is that coming towards the earth. Huh turns out now that the sky is clearer you can see the giant asteroid coming directly towards u... at least it’s pretty.

I wish Netflix would stop taking shows that I’m half way through down

 

Granted, it takes them down just as you're finishing them. No plot resolution, no peace.

I wish it wasn't so hot out.

 

That corruption. Was truly evil.
Granted the world slips into an ice age and penguins and polar bears take over the world.

I wish I had a pet polar bear

 

I know haha
Granted, but it's a feral polar bear. In your house. I don't think I need to explain the corruption any further.

I wish I had a tablet for drawing.

 

My dreams of an adorable polar bear.
Granted but it’s cursed so that every single time you are about to finish your drawing. It smudges just one line. And if you try to fix it. You shall only make it worse. Hf

I wish my boyfriend didn’t suck so much at responding.