Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but everything becomes afraid of you.

I wish my laptop would stop falling off the stool.

 

Granted! It is not permanently attached to the stool, and there's no way to remove it. Where the laptop goes, the stool must also go.

I wish Taxis were free.

 

Granted, but now you have to legally pay to walk anywhere.

I wish I could see the stars more clearly from where I live.

 

Granted! You now live trapped on a moon colony with Donald Trump and Ben Carson (I'm not sure how this happened), where you've been stranded until the US can build a ship, if they ever pass a budget to do so. But having no atmosphere, you have the most wonderful view of the stars.

I wish I could walk on water.

 

Granted, but whenever you try to walk on land it becomes quicksand.

I wish I had pyrokinesis (the ability to start and control fires with my mind).

 

Wish granted, however you will stay as a 5 year old forever

I wish I can have superpowers

 

Granted, but they're crappy superpowers.

I wish I was born cis.

 

I don't wanna corrupt that... awww I guess I have to tho... granted but you were born straight cis male

I wish I was confident enough not to worry about if I am capable of taking care of my brother

 

These are getting to serious!!

Wish Granted, but you become too confident and your bro turns into a monkey.

I wish that I had enough money for college.

 

Wish granted, but that's all you get and no one ever hires you.

I wish I could turn invisible when I want to.

 

Wish granted, but for every Halloween for the rest of your life you have to be a spooky bed mattress.

I wish I could write decent fanfiction.

 

Wish granted, but it can only be gay fan fiction about Mamrie's dog Beanz and Grace's dog Goose.

I wish my trigger crush would write me an email, tomorrow, about how she's actually in love with me.

 

OMG YESS

Wish Granted, but instead of an email from your trigger crush, you get an email from Tigger admitting that he has a crush on you.

I wish I make an A on the Calculus test I took today.

 

Wish granted, but you can never get anything higher than a B+ ever again.

I wish I would get over my cold. :c

I know that Hannah doesn't have Ollie anymore, but I feel like Ollie would go better with both Beanz and Goose, because Beanz is sassy and Goose is insane. Ollie is chill, which would counteract all the other twos crazy, while Beanz and Goose together would be chaos.

Also, I realize how odd it is to analyze a dog ship, but whatever.

 

Granted! You're cold vanishes, and you feel wonderful: the only catch is that each day, you must gather and eat 1 pound of fresh grubs from decaying logs in the forest, or else, gradually lose all your strength.

I wish Donald Trump would be washed away by a random mudslide while speaking, never to be heard of again.

 

Granted, but Ben Carson becomes the GOP frontrunner in his place

I wish I was elected Governor of Florida.

 

Granted! But the evil alien space-lizards who control Rick Scott take over your brain as well, the moment you assume office.

I wish Ben Carson, Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio would get caught making a porno together, and have it leak out onto the internet, ruining their careers.

 

Granted, but you forget all about it

I wish I wasn't so stressed.

 

Granted, but then you get mauled by a bear and died coz you forgot how to be stressed and run away.

I wish life had a meaning.

 

Granted, but you get sucked into a black hole

I wish I had nachos