Thanks everybody for taking the time to respond. My boss is very accepting of everybody but my district is mostly conservative and homophobic. My concern is that I'm hoping to become an administrator in this district at some point and I feel like they might overlook the "gay thing" for a good teacher but not for an administrator. Actually the rumor is that they lesbian principal was dismissed because some of the parents and board members felt that a lesbian would not be a good role model for their children and they just found some reason to fire her. She was a good principal. Of course that is not the official reason but that is what everyone says. Oh and my boss was not here when that happened so she had nothing to do with that and was hired after that. The parents and board members are still here though and I doubt they have become more tolerant of lesbians and gays. I don't know maybe I should just stay in the damn closet professionally. I wish I was in a different field. Though I'm sure gay men have it much harder in education than I do.
Have you looked into local law regarding non-discrimination acts? If there is protection from being fired for your sexual orientation, that might at least give you some leverage to know your job would be safe. It's awful that your community is so smallminded and discriminating. It's wise of you to carefully think this over. I grew up in a small town and I know even if there were supportive and understanding people at the school, the surrounding community might pitch an ugly fit. If you can make it clear to your boss that you'd like to tell her something, but it will require a commitment to secrecy on her part and leave it for her to decide if she wants to be involved, it might be more fair for both of you. Since you trust her and seem to have a good relationship, I don't think simply presenting the idea of entrusting a secret should make things too rocky if she tells you she'd rather not know.
Hey Femme, I noticed you've not had a response from a situation similar to yours so here goes. I'm a student teacher about to qualify this year. I'm in my second block placement school which, coincedently, is where I worked up until last summer as a teaching assistant before starting my training. Therefore I knew my boss well and my very good supportive friend advised me to tell her. So I did. We sat down in her office and I told her my situation (of splitting up with my ex-gf and telling her that I'm gay) at which point my boss said: "Do you want me to tell Emma for you?" (Emma being the teacher who is currently mentoring me in her class). I replied: "What? About me being gay?" To which she just laughed and told me that she meant about the splitting up and that I would have access to support from everybody in the workplace if I needed it. Complete 'doh!' moment right there! :lol: But it's been great. I'm one of 2 male staff in the school out of a lot of females. We all get on fine and I've just been accepted and supported from the off. To be honest, I expected no less from them. I guess you really need to take in the whole work environment; the staff relationships and dynamics being the one to look at. I chose not to stay in the closet professionally as I don't see why I should. I did worry initially about parents but at the end of the day, I am no different a person than I was 6 weeks ago apart from the fact that people now know I like guys instead of gals. So why would the parent's know? Unless there is gossip-mongering going on, in which case you would push for discrimination, work place bullying, and malicious gossip. Confide in a colleague or two who you trust and get their opinions. Your school should support you regardless as you are a professional who does a bloody good job and remains professional at all times around the child and parents. At the end of the day, the world is very different than it was 20 years ago; education and society have moved on and these are very real things that children are going to have to get used to and be aware of. Nobodies saying run around with a neon t-shirt on but if the subject is ever brought up. Just reply honestly and move back to the topic at hand.
I wouldn't come out to my boss no matter who they were even if there were anti-discriminatory laws protecting me because i believe in separating work from personal life but it also depends on what I'm doing cause right now i teach little kids at a community center.
Thing is, work can be seperate from personal life. In my experience, working in schools for5 years before training, it is an easy thing to do. Come to work, do your job, get on with colleagues. If you make friends...bonus! At the end of the day, nothing stays secret forever. Unless your completely in the closet, it will come to light. Would you rather it be on your terms or not? I don't see a problem in people knowing your orientation. That's all it is. You behave professionally anway, or you should do. I always have and continue to do so. I've worked with all LGBT's in schools in the past and every single one of them has behaved accordingly. I just believe that it will make life that little bit easier and nullify any awkwardness that could arise. My personal life, love life, sex life, is still my own business just as it would be for the next straight teacher.
Thank you so much for your response. The community where I teach is filled with inappropriate gossip about everyone. The local newspaper blogs let people post the most outrageous things anonymously. If I became an administrator, I'm sure if people knew they would post things like I don't want this dyke around my daughter and things like that. This is what happened to one of the principals and her contract was not renewed. I think I'll just stay in the professional closet for now since I can't decide. Teachers have the union to protect their rights, the administrators do not. So if I remain a teacher, I'd be ok to keep my job but the climate might change in how I'm treated. If I became an administrator, my contract might not be renewed. I've had so many people "warn" me about the lesbian teacher on staff since we worked on a committee together and were seen speaking to each other. Yes, this is small town USA with small minds and ignorant opinions. Thanks again.
