Coming Out in your 20s

Hmm, my life's pretty much the same. I'm still super girly (maybe a little more so). I guess I was never really closeted. It seemed like everybody knew before I knew lol ^-^"

 

Within the next year or two I'll find out. :icon_bigg

 

Hey I came out when I was 26. I don't think my life has changed too much but it definitely has in places.

 

I have come out to a few people when I was 23 but that was 5 months ago now I've noticed a few changes such as being more at ease at who I am and I'm sure there will be more as I come out to more people.

 

I came out exactly 1 year ago today (i was 20 at the time) and I've found it at times hard to adjust... Like the first time i went properly out to a gay club and somebody tried to chat me up, and i was like wait whaaa? :bang:

But I've moved out of my parents house in Ireland to go to Uni in the UK (!) and I am really starting to get a feel of who I am again, rather than just being in the closet, or feeling fake because I was out but nothing had changed (even though now I realized nothing does change because you are still the same person)

 

I came out when I was in my 20's. The only thing that changed was that people knew I liked guys. I lost a few friends but they weren't anyone I would have wanted around anyway.

 

I'm just now coming out at 26 and it sucks, honestly. It seems like the only other newly-out people my age are on here and not anywhere IRL. I feel way behind the curve in terms of dating and relationships, and I feel a bit like I'm in a delayed adolescence with my emotions and hormones being all over the place.

 

I haven't come out yet, but I wish I had when I were younger. I feel like I've put a lot of pressure on myself now, as well as now my friends/family would be completely shocked if I were gay.

 

Well I'm 22 and have just recently come out to myself. I have only told a few people but already things a different and I have no idea what the new future will hold. Its true having to see myself in this different light and reconstruct my own identity was kind of a shocker and I'm still in the process but I like it. I'm not done yet but I've always wanted to be a different version of myself and maybe now I can discover it. Im going to look at this as an opportunity for growth. I do wonder what my teenage years would have been like. Maybe if I had always known then I wouldn't have to go through this stress of coming out to friends and family and making them reconstruct their view of me.

 

As someone a year older and not out at all I am not excited to hear this. :eusa_doh:

 

This, except I'm 27. Knda sucks. For me, I dont need to rework my personality, so much as how I respond to situations. I've told a few people about myself, and over the last year I've learned I enjoy boobs more than I thought I did, made new friends, alienated others, got hit on by a cute guy who then came out to me over a text, found out my boss is bi but closeted, and my best friend constantly hurts me by pretending to be gay and not understanding me.
So I'd say coming out in this age range is good and bad. Its definately different from those that come out at a younger age.

Good:
Mature enough to know whatI am.
Longer established friends and potential safety net.
Perspective. Coming out isn't the end of the world.
lol Suprise!

Bad:
Still learning what I am and what to do about it.
Hiding is a habit that is hard to break.
If I lose a frind it will hurt much more.
Ohgod its the end ofthe world
emotions
Some people dont like suprises.

While I wish I had come out earlier in life, and am curious what my life would have been like, doing what I have done has definately given me a different angle on how I view things.

But mostly I feel lke a trainwreck.

 

Well no my life hasn't really changed that much it's the same when I told my mum she said what is really going to change nothing

 

I only came out last year at age 35. I of course wish that I would have found the courage to do it earlier :bang:, but I can't change it any more, so I have to make the best out of my situation.

Coming out late has, in my eyes, advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand I was financially independent and had my own apartment, so there was no risk of being thrown out and I had no existential fears, on the other hand I feel like I wasted a loooooong time which I will never get back.

Immediately after coming out I just continued with my hetero-like but otherwise authentic life. Coming out was kind of a precondition for me to change my life - mental hygiene, so to say. I'm still in the process of changing my life, like finding more gay friends and a boy friend. Coming out didn't make me a different person, but it improved my life in many ways. I think it was a bigger change for my family and my friends than it was for me.

 

I'm 21. I'm still trying to come out to myself. I'm moving to another country in a few months so I'm considering just waiting and if I'm going to come out, do it there. Be who I am straight off the bat from day 1 of my new life, that way I also limit the number of "old" friends I have to come out to. The ones who I will stay in contact with as opposed to acquaintances too. I think if I come out it'll be a massive shock to a lot of people. That's what worries me. Sometimes I think that if I had accepted it wasn't a phase and moved with it all when I was a teenager it would be a LOT easier. Guess I'll never know if that's true or not though.

Ps "if I come out" there's the self doubt and denial again :eusa_doh:

 

Yup, that's actually my situation right now. I'm 20 and I had thoughts about girls starting when I was about 16, but I never even considered that I was bi until a few months ago. It's definitely very confusing like you said, and I feel somewhat like I need to re-establish my identity. I've told a few of my gay friends and that's it. I'm still in the process of accepting myself and I don't feel comfortable being out to too many people until I've accepted it myself. I know I'll accept it with time but sometimes I do wonder why I didn't realize this earlier. One of my best friends is 16 and knows that she's gay, and I have several other friends who knew from a young age hag they were gay too. It's easy to compare myself to them and wonder why I didn't notice it earlier. But everyone's experience is different so I try not to overthink it too much.

 

That's what I'm doing I'm moving away soon, hopefully. I thought that if I started off as a gay person in my new area then I don't have to 'come out' to them. If I come out to the people I know in the area I live now, it won't matter because I'll be far away haha. Where are you moving to?

 

Seems like we should found "The club of the late teenagers"

In my case I came out for the first time last summer by moving to the UK ans starting from 0. New job, new place and the real me from the very beginning. Everything is way better right now and thanks to that I managed to get the courage to come out back at home.

But as Juggalo and Semicharmedlife I find myself in situations i have never encountered before constantly and feel really immature and unprepared (even more so in relationship issues). Now it is really hard to focus on my work/studies with so many things going on in my head too.

Everything is a bit out of control but it feels sooo much better!

 

I came out to lots of people at university last year at 23. I'm 24 now. You know, regrets are regrets. Don't ignore them, but put them in perspective. When I was a teenager, I was already so insecure about certain aspects of my life that coming out (to myself and others) may have driven me over a psychological cliff. Now I bring a lot of emotional maturity and critical thinking to my situation, and even then it hasn't been easy. Getting around the embarrassment of coming out to people who've been totally comfortable in the sexuality for years has been hard, and it can make you feel inferior and demoralised. But I also feel that I'm still really young with a lot of life to live. Anyway, I wouldn't have wanted to come out before nineteen. The other thing is that LGBT people (more than straights actually) are really understanding, in general, and most won't make you feel bad for coming out later. Surrounding yourself with nice queer people is a great way to get over hangups. But I still struggle with this stuff myself - there are no easy answers...