(Cliche) In love with friend

So, we had a really big talk on Facebook tonight. Untold him the exact moment I feel utterly, head over heels in love with him. He promised that we would always stay as friends, no matter what happened. I listed off just a few of the reasons I find him so irresistibly wonderful, which he really appreciated. His friends are still being total jerks to him. He is still really confused about what he is going to do. He can't give me even an overview if what he is feeling, he is in a state of turmoil. So, before I logged off, I just gave him one question. I asked him if he could ever feel the way I do for him about me. I told him that he could answer me whenever he wanted to, so no reply yet. I'm going away this weekend, so no way to get in touch with him. I'm sure that he'll think about it over the weekend.

If there is the slightest possibility that he could love me back (which, from his previous actions and reactions, I think there is), I will hold out forever on the chance that we could get together. And if he doesn't think he ever will... well, I can't promise to stop loving him, but I'll also try my best to move on.

 

Exactly. I've told him how I've felt, and that I'll always be there for him no matter what he does. The ball is in his court now. Obviously, for him to love me back and go out with me, even be my boyfriend (*swoon*), would be my absolute fulfilment, but I'll stand by him even if he feels that he doesn't love me in that way.

 

You know I would have told you if there was... I was away for a couple of days, but we chatted for a bit tonight (nothing about US). He has influenza, poor thing, but has to come to school tomorrow for assessment. Is it bad that I'm happy he is, haha?

I'm going to talk to him tomorrow about whether he thinks we could be together, if I can get him alone. I'll be sure to keep you guys posted, don't worry.

 

Good news: he has feelings for me.
Bad news: he doesn't think it's fair in me to go out while he still has feelings for his ex.

 

I'm in love with him; I respect whatever choice he wants to make. I know just how traumatic his breakup has been, and I totally understand that he doesn't want to rush into a relationship straight away. He needs time to heal, I see that. He isn't in love with his ex, of that I'm sure, he just misses him and the security and love they had.

Obviously I'm so happy that he does have feelings for me, even if they aren't as strong as mine for him. I am ready to make this work, as soon as he's ready. I'm not going to bring it up for a while, unless he chooses to. Once a suitable period of time has passed, I'll ask him if he's ready to move to the next step. I hope he makes the first move though.

 

@WhiteShadows: I'm so lucky to have him as a friend. He is just amazing, one of a kind. There isn't anyone like him! I'm going to give him a bit longer before I ask him again. But really I haut want to be there for him.

He's really sick at the moment. He hasn't been at school for a few days, and might be going to hospital. So I decided to order him flowers. He'll be getting them tomorrow.

 

He loved them! Said it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for him. Not muh new this week, he's back at school but he's still a little sick and really tired. We have the concert next weekend, which I'm really looking forward to.

Do you guys think I should bring us back up again, or just let him do things in his own time?

 

Oh, thank you so much Dragoness! That is quite possibly some of the kindest words anyone has ever said about me. I'm blushing a little, trust me. I'll just let him take his own sweet time. We are seeing each other a lot next month, so hopefully he'll say something. We are going away with my family to the beach for a few nights, which should be nice. Oh, but the feeling I get when he catches me looking at him, and just smiles back at me. Amazing.

It is such a relief that he hasn't been scared off by what I said. If anything, we've gotten closer. One really good thing has come out of this; my poetry has improved markedly! I have never had any musical or artistic talent, but words are my friends, and I love to write. I've dabbled in poetry before, but I've always gotten stuck. But being in an emotional state of turmoil is excellent for getting the creative juices flowing; I must have spent two hours writing poetry last night!

 

I count myself a strong Catholic, a strong Christian. I used to be vaguely agnostic. But someone hurt me really, really badly a few years ago. I wanted to kill myself. Every moment of my day was spent thinking of how I would end it. The scars are still on my back. I was so ashamed, even though I had no right to be. I was on the very brink, when suddenly I felt a sense of truly heavenly peace. I am sure that it was God. Since then, I've thrown myself back into the Church. Before I met my friend, I was certain that I would enter seminary and become a priest. But the feelings I feel for them... Well, I know that Gid loves me, but the Church wouldn't really approve!

And yet... I would throw the Church away for him, with scarcely a second thought. He, the thought if his love, is so much greater to me. Sorry for getting all spiritual, I just had to vent! Could I just say though, everyone who has posted here, and on the forum at large, are much better Christians than so many of those who would name themselves such.