Being Gay is Awful

I agree, especially how I feel right now. I've had enough of being gay and other gay people. I know so many 'out and proud' people that just forget how it feels to be in my position. They expect everyone to be like them and let the world know that they're gay.

I know it sounds bad, but I think I'd rather be born with a missing limb - at least I wouldn't have to announce that to my family.

I sometimes feel that I'm glad to be gay, but right now I'm just not in that mood at all.

 

Actually, evolution is a random walk that neither serves nor acts with any purpose whatsoever. Things evolve and it either works or it doesn't. At this point, it's not clear that being gay has survival value or not when measured against the millions of years that life operates on or the approx 3 billion years that life of one sort or another has been on the planet. For that matter, it's not clear that human intelligence has survival value when measured against such scales either.

If you're free in about 10-50 million years or so we could always check back in and see how it turns out. Is a Tuesday good for you?

Todd

---------- Post added 5th Mar 2013 at 11:50 PM ----------

Ok, so how long until you can move? If you're in college you presumably have 4yrs or so before you could potentially move somewhere more accepting where it sounds like you would be much happier. Possibly sooner if you wanted to push it since some people do actually move/change schools midway through getting their degree.

I'm assuming here you do want to move...

Todd

 

Be proud of who you are. Own it, and take responsibility for creating a life you love.

You can't do that if you're in the closet or have secrets to keep from the world

Peace

 

I think it has to do with the contrast. Something is that much more high when it is contrasted by the lows, the risk, sacrifice, loneliness and devastation. You just gt to the point where you are sick of it.

Yep. That's when you are negotiating.

I don't see any community...

Now that's a community. That act was planned for years by people who knew exactly what they were after.

I'm being honest. I hate this...truly. Make no pretense of something else.

Can't see happiness from sadness, too far away.

Been there, done that. The thing that makes it miserable is not being able to trust your instincts.

Not when you've had your soul twisted by a psychiatrist.

Money, yo, money. Seems as though gay people are expensive. Straights tend to be cheap.

Negative people are wonderful at spotting their own or turning you into one of them.

Excitement of shallow hookups, what's that?

No, I'll make society dance to my tune. Wait, there's a name for that, it's called insanity.

Genius.

And I'm being hostile to this society as well?

So I'm not even good at seeking help.

Youtube Video

Queen

---------- Post added 5th Mar 2013 at 09:38 PM ----------

[youtube]9sEJHHO9bgI[/youtube]

 

Why? Because you`ll have no one to have sex with for two weeks due to there being only chicks there? Because there`ll be only straight men around you, having straight innuendo? I am really hoping, for your friends sake, that there is more for you guys to enjoy than just that. Life isn`t all about sex, for most of us. There has got to be more you share with your friends, that has nothing to do with romance or sex, like interests, humor, hobbies, etc? How about enjoying the scenery? Finding joy in the activities they do there? Again, I hope I am not too blunt, but you seem very focused on the two factors excluding each other, like gay people and straight people are only orientations, and don`t have personality and interests outside of their sexual interests. God knows I would love a vacation right about now, and if I had to listen to straight innuendo for two weeks, just the fact that I`d get time to relax and chill would be wonderful to me. No school/work for two weeks? Paradise!

 

Actually I have a theory that there is a slowly rising level of innate homosexuality in the human species due to our current overpopulation problem. I think that the stresses of being overpopulated as a species (and the lack of resources that go along with that) are causing Mother Nature to shift hormones in the womb to self-correct for population size.

I also think this is the reason that more and more people are identifying as transgendered (and not just because it is a trendy social movement), and that the hormonal shift in utero which is increasing the number of homosexuals in the population is also increasingly leaving people on multiple grades of the sexuality/gender spectrum.

I know there is a thesis paper in this somewhere.

 

It's an interesting idea. And yes, there would be a thesis there. And scholarly articles, etc.

 

It's no different than the "compensation"(more intense summer and winter as well as rain/snowfall and the insect population) occuring in climate change to be honest. So yes, there is definitely "Academia" stamped all over this one.

Honestly dude, your situation is f**ked. But on this vacation of your's, logically speaking, you can't be the only gay frat guy looking for someone like you.........Even though that scenario sounds like it might lead you to someone in a worse despair than yourself, maybe it won't. Hell, if you've been disappointed this long, what's one more time. Right?....

 

Because there's always been a portion of the human population that is homosexual (actually there's always been a portion of the population of several complex social animals that is homosexual). [I'm also fascinated by the occurence of homosexuality in the higher animals like lions, dolphins, etc... and how it factors into their social hierarchy.]

Personally, I think homosexuality is due to a combination of genetics, in utero development, and environment. It's the hormonal aspect of things that drives my theory. It's not that overpopulation causes homosexuality, it's that overpopulation increases it, and maybe not just how naturally it occurs, but also how often sexually fluid people act on homosexuality (a non-breeding option) versus heterosexuality (a breeding option).

I can't prove it, and I'm debating on whether I want to even try, considering the countless variables that sort of spoil the end statistics. But I do find it fascinating on a sociological level.

I think bisexuality just occurs when someone gets caught in the middle, hormonally and developmentally speaking. And I think transgenderism rises from the same place. It's like a perfect storm of physiology and environment.

I think the fact that most people's sexuality falls somewhere in the middle of the Kinsey scale (that is, not either exclusively gay or straight) kind of lends a lot of credibility to the idea of sexual fluidity.

Just because I didn't have sex with guys or find myself attracted to them at one point in my life doesn't mean my orientation was exclusively straight at any point in it. We can't define people's orientations just by who they sleep with. If we did, every closeted gay man would be a straight man by default.

Well without surrogacy and adoption, homosexual couples are inherently infertile.

There is no such thing as a male brain and a female brain. Yeah, there are differences, but ultimately it's just the human brain, with various shades of sexuality and gender applied. If there were such things as male brains and female brains, androgynous and generally bi-gendered people wouldn't exist.

This is exactly the biological correlation I'm thinking of.

PS: I'm not stating this as the end all be all truth or anything. It's just a scientific theory.

---------- Post added 6th Mar 2013 at 08:58 AM ----------

I don't see you hooking up with a dude on this vacation if you're in the closet.

That being said, I wouldn't sleep with a woman unless you REALLY want to. Because every time you do, you're taking a chance that you're going to have a kid. Would suck to get saddled with child support for the next 18 years of your life due to a one night stand on vacation.

I think being in the closet is making you a lot more miserable than necessary dude. Just think about it - if you were out, your friends could hit a straight bar, you could hit a gay bar, and you'd be swimming in dicks before you finished your first drink. Your vacation would be so much more fun.

Being gay isn't awful. But being in the closet most definitely fucking is.

---------- Post added 6th Mar 2013 at 09:06 AM ----------

PPS: I do realize your aversion to gay bars, but the one thing I can think of in their favor is that statistically, your chances of meeting another homosexual who is willing to admit it are a LOT better.

 

Who's talking about you? I'm the one claiming bisexuality to some degree. If you consider yourself gay, you're gay. *shrug* I know there are gay guys who literally cannot get aroused by women, it is such a turn-off to them. But apparently I'm not THAT gay, and never was.

But...as someone who slept with women for about eight years and still ended up with a guy, I'm not making claims to absolute orientation.

Ever.

I didn't consider myself a closeted gay guy until I met Nick. I didn't consider myself a gay guy at ALL. Falling in love made me reconsider everything I'd ever thought about human sexuality.

So what is my orientation? Gay-leaning bisexual? Heterosexual with case-by-case exceptions? Closeted gay? Demiromantic?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Why is a fluid sexual orientation so controversial? I mean I sort of get your counter-argument about being exclusively gay and how the "find the right woman" point could be used against bisexuals to encourage them into heteronormacy, but I'm not sure why the labels are being held to such a high significance.

I'm telling you never once, that I can recall, have I been physically attracted to other guys once I hit puberty (which is when I see most of the gay guys here claim to discover their sexual orientation). Or romantically interested in them, either. I dated women exclusively in high school, and not because I was "hiding my sexuality"...I literally had no gay feelings at that point in my life at all. I had no desire to experiment. As far as I knew, I was straight and I didn't have any reason to think otherwise.

 

I understand the concern in this original post and some of the replies throughout. I'm not a partier, nor do I fit into the 'typical' gay scene in any community I've been in. So I haven't participated and thus have virtually no gay friends. All my friends are straight and supportive, but our lives are inherently different, which just makes things more challenging. I want a pretty average life, but it always feels like I'm not ever getting what I really want because I'm gay.

I waited a long time to come out and now that I have, I don't feel any happier with being gay. I have a boyfriend, but the novelty of being with a guy seems to have warn off. I just want a family and I know there's technical ways to make children and all this craziness and I think people can be happy... but I don't know if I would be. I just want it to kind of make a little more sense than that, have a little more natural progression. I think adoption is a wonderful thing and I think that gay couples can make excellent parents. I just want to have a family with children of my own, which I know sounds selfish. I don't hate women, I'm just not sexually attracted to them. I'm sexually attracted to men, but I feel like my relationship and the one prior, the future can't provide what I ultimately want.

But it's people that share this feeling of being who they are, but not fitting in with the 'gay crowd' or 'straight crowd' that really need to be their own crowd. The good news is that there seems to be more and more people in this category. It can only get better.

 

How do you know there's not? :lol:

I'm gay and I go exclusively to straight bars. I can't be the only one.

The worst thing about gay people is that the overwhelming majority of them are completely invisible 99% of the time. Even if they're technically out. Because if you don't know them, they're not out to you.

If a gay guy goes into a gay bar, it's obvious that he's gay, bi, or at least gay-friendly. But if he just goes into a regular bar, you can't tell him from the straight guy sitting next to him.

 

You were people watching in a straight bar. No big deal, but even straights find bars to be meat markets.

Have you searched the web for gay groups in your area? (Hiking, sports, etc).

Stuck

 

Oddly, the biggest complaint I hear about the gay clubs in my area? "Too many straight people."

Lex