Being gay after psychoanalysis

Okay, listen. You don't have to act on those urges. I believe you are an adult and are able to cope with wanting to do something you'd rather not do. Unless you are emotionally unstable and cannot resist urges in general.

Now on to the psychoanalytic part. I figure the sole idea of having gay sex is causing distress to you. Unreasonably so, because lots of people have gay sex and are fine and lead fulfiled lives, and animals also have gay sex. There is nothing ususual about it or forming same sex romantic and sexual relationships. What is so distressing for you about it? Are you afraid of discrimination? Are you from a religious background? Is it what has been told you before about gay persons? Is it the perspective of being infertile?

 

But it is natural. It happens in nature in the animal kingdom with literal hundreds of species having been observed doing it. Plus, it’s been happening with humans since the beginning of time. It’s natural because your body was designed in a way to make it feel good.

And it doesn’t make you a woman or anything like a woman. That isn’t what makes a woman a woman. Frankly, as a woman, it’s insulting that penetrative sex is what you think defines us. There’s more to the female experience than sex. Also, Here’s a tip. Vaginal penetration frequently isn’t even the part of sex some women even like. A lot of women prefer clitoral stimulation (which you don’t have!) and tolerate the other part because of their partner. Not to mention, on the flip side , the ancient Spartans halfway made gay sex a requirement for their military. They saw it as a bonding activity.

 

Hi FromME, you are right: the people here do care about you. We don't want you to come to any harm. Please don't do anything that would harm yourself.

I gather you may live in a society where being gay is seen as a very bad thing. I'm sorry, that must be a terribly difficult situation to be in.

Remember that you are still you, and there is much more to you than being attracted to men.

While I understand that your sexuality is at the forefront of your thoughts right now and causing you great anxiety, is there any way you could give yourself a bit of a mental break, and buy yourself time, by deciding that you will not act on it for a specific period of time? You don't have to resolve your situation tomorrow or next week.

It sounds like your red line may be about having gay sex. So would it give you any peace of mind if you said to yourself that there's a difference between being gay and acting on it? You could decide to focus on your general emotional wellbeing, and not to act on your desire, for a certain period of time, and then see where you are and how you feel.

Good luck and be kind to yourself.

 

Hi.

I will say that the more you fight your internal feelings, the stronger they will get. There is nothing wrong with being gay. People's sexuality changes with time. Keep your chin up.

Peace and Love

 

There is a medicine - let your anus enjoy itself. I know your head won't like it (at first) but owning a body means you have a responibility to all it's parts.
If some part is having an urge this strong and telling you about it constantly, then how fair are you being?
I'd say your botty has stated it's needs plainly enough. You wouldnt try and medicate a partner out of needing to sky-dive, why is it ok to want to medicate your butt?
There is but one medicine. Give it what it wants.

 

Yes its showing that people with passive urges are abnormal for not acting on them.
(That’s a Joke)
They do not make medications to decrease libido, there are not meds made specifically for that. There are medications for other things where the side effect ends in that result. Again though in doing meds, surgery, or anything similar is not safe, sane, or logical.


Sorry man, I’m a bottom and passive sex for me is 100% normal and 100% satisfying. It’s how I’m wired. I find it offensive that you degrade passive sex so much. There is NOTHING wrong with anal sex. Wether giving, or receiving. And just because you’re masculine doesn’t mean that you’re not gay. I am a masculine gay man. And just because I like to receive rather than give doesn’t change that, being gay doesn’t change that.

I think you have stereotypes stuck in your head maybe from the culture in your part of the world. I hope that you can come to terms with who you are and grow as a person and move forward in life. Everything is about choice. You can choose to act or not.

 

If he doesn’t want to have sex with another man yet, would it take the edge off for him to get some lube and a toy and diy or not so much? @Chip @Poofter

or is that a terrible idea?

 

It would scratch the itch so to speak, like any kind of masterbation. But, it is different from the real thing.

 

I was just thinking it might be his way of taking the edge off while he works on wrapping his head around pursuing the real thing. Sort of a compromise. As a lesbian, I obviously don’t know what to tell him to get (if he can even get it where he’s located...surely there’s a way though. Amazon if nothing else) or do to pursue that route. I just kind of assumed it was a thing.

 

If the country listed is where he’s actually from, it might be hard to find. And I don’t know if it can be shipped in. As I do not know the laws of Azerbaijan. But given it proximity to the Middle East and southern former soviet republics, I would go out on a limb and guess its one of those countries where being gay is punishable, or so hated that people go after you for it. Also wouldn’t surprise me if things like that are banned there. But I am not sure as I don’t know the laws. At all.

All that said, you’d want to get a pliable Silicone toy, do NOT go over board on size. It’s better to stay to the smaller end especially starting out. Also something with a wide base so it don’t accidentally slip in. Like a dildo with balls or an anal plug with handle. Lots of lube and go really really slow. As your body warms up and relaxes then you can pick up some speed. If you have ANY pain stop. And if you can’t acquire a toy. Thoroughly washed hands and a small bit of Vaseline can get the job done as well.

 

There are vegetables that work perfectly well and don't leave tracks all over ones browser, courgettes are cheap, available, and not likely to arouse suspicions.... Just trim off the rough bits where the flower head was, and maybe put a condom on it to make it easier to deal with afterwards.

 

Me personally, I’m not taking a chance with a veggie breaking off in there. But YMMV. ‍♂️

 

Haha, well i get that some like it rough, but i've never had one break.