Aww I'm so so happy I've joined

I'm sorry for your illness. Of course, you should take all the needed actions to solve that problem if they don't listen to you. (*hug*).

 

I can't say that I have, no. I'm too worried about being found out as I'm not in a position to come out of the closet just yet. I've managed to meet someone local through a hookup app and I'm content chatting online with lots of people for now. I'm not long out of a 25 year abusive relationship so I'm in no hurry!

 

It's okay, you weren't to know. While my situation is different in many ways, I completely empathise with the feelings of "should've done this sooner". I have a mantra I repeat to myself, "the past is over, the present is now". We can't change anything we did or didn't do, all we can do is make the most of now.

Of course, it's easier said than done. I've been beating myself up for 25 years for being cowed into a marriage or face her telling everyone that I was gay. But, the marriage is effectively over, I have the house and kids, but she's terminally ill. So now I regret not forcing myself to face the facts and end the marriage so that she had a chance at a happy, healthy relationship.

Since accepting, at long last, that I am, and always have been, gay 8 months ago, I find that I'm more and more comfortable about this each passing week. While coming out isn't the best idea right now, I do now feel that, if confronted, I'll be able to confess to the truth and deal with the consequences.

Hopefully you can move past the frustrations of waiting and embrace your now.

 

I'm ok now I'm out of boymode and back in my normal clothes. Honestly it's weird how much worse my old clothes feel to wear now ahaha.