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AFAB Woman with dysphoria

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by sciezka, Jul 13, 2020.

  1. sciezka

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    Hi, I came across this forum while searching for answers to a problem I'm having.

    https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/does-anyone-identify-as-an-afab-transwoman.420822/

    This is the thread I found but it didn't really seem to go anywhere productive. I'm hoping to talk through what I'm feeling with someone and get some advice on how to proceed.

    For all intents and purposes, I am a cis woman. I think I'm experiencing bottom dysphoria and some side effects of that. I am extremely uncomfortable with my err bottom configuration. I don't have any medical problems in that area as far as I know but I have this feeling of wrongness everytime I think about it. Periods are particularly difficult because of this. Whenever I'm referred to as female my heart kinda stops. I feel like I'm going to vomit and like I need to scrub the feeling of that word off of me.

    Woman, girl, feminine, etc don't have that effect on me and I kinda like them. I am a lesbian and want to be a femme. I have no problems with my chest though I do bind on work days as straight men can be incredible creeps. I kind of like the idea of my breasts only being for women.

    Lately, I've started giving my pronouns as they/them instead of she/her because that's the only way I can get people to take my discomfort with being called female seriously. I'm not sure that I'm trans or nonbinary but I let people assume that. I really wish it wasn't that way since they pronouns aren't a perfect fit but at least its not painful. I can live with it.

    I'm seriously considering getting an STP packer to relieve some of what I'm feeling but I have no idea of where to start or if that will even help. If I walk around with a noticeable bugle I might end up with a different problem.

    Is there anyone else who feels this way? The closest I've come to finding something similar was that thread and some butch lesbians but I've only seen discussion of top dysphoria for them. I don't what to do.
     
  2. rktonks

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    That is interesting. I also feel weird about my female parts. The whole idea of a period is revolting, you know? Why dose blood have to come out from between my legs? As soon as I have access I will use birth control because my period makes me feel very just, dirty.
    I am a total feminist though, and I dress mainly feminine though.
    After all that I still am no though I may prefer girls much more.

    Anyways, enough on me.

    It is brave if you to bind at work. That idea seems appealing.
    I have a friend who binds and gose by they/them, though they are 100% a lesbian girl. I don’t know if this is very normal, but you can definitely go by that if you want.
    So you are in between wanting to be recognized as a woman/female? Under what circumstances do you find you dislike being referred to as a female?
    You don’t sound very trans, because you appreciate being a woman in some ways? Non binary can work though there are other terms someone else could probably orient you to. I have heard ‘demigirl’ but I don’t think I get 100% the concert of that. My friend was I mentioned, they identify as demigirl.
    Hope to be helpful.
     
  3. Mihael

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    Nobody will be surprised if someone non-binary had a bulge between the legs, I guess. Someone might think you're AMAB, but being referred to with they pronouns might have the same effect. It seems like it isn't that frequent for lesbians to use bottom prosthetics, because they want to look like women even when using a strap-on for sex, but some lesbians do pack.
     
  4. Secrets5

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    There is a condition known as menstration dysphoria. It is like PMS but extreme. If you don't have any other dysphoria and is just to do with menstrations and related bodily parts, perhaps it is worth looking into with a doctor.
     
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  5. Mihael

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    Oh come on, nobody likes periods.
     
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