Is sexuality fixed from birth or does it change later in life?

When I was in denial I just assumed straight sex was just how sex was. I was very apprehensive, a little disgusted and just wanted to get it over with and had difficult keeping aroused. I would read up things to spice things up and my girlfriends would introduce things but I still just wanted to get it over with.

My gay fantasies were always more intense than even real life sex with women, but when I finally accepted myself and had gay sex, it was like someone removed the rancid garlic from the ice cream and I thought "Oh THIS is what it should taste like!"

Gay sex just feels so much more natural, no awkwardness, I have no problem telling my partner I like his c*ck and talking dirty (I could never do that with women),and rather than just trying to 'get off' I feel like I am connecting with someone physically and mentally.

 

The reason I asked is because I have always wondered about bottoming (is it still called that when a woman does it?). I’ve never been eager to try it but curious. My boyfriend has never asked either, but he does have wandering hands during foreplay and that’s something I’ve gotten used to and started to enjoy, especially if we’ve had a drink. It’s always the drink’s fault

I was wondering how good it feels for a guy, is better/different/not much different compared to straight sex? As far as I know it wouldn’t do as much for a woman as it does for a man to receive, but I guess it probably does still feel good anyway. I did know a girl once who was very into it so it’s definitely possible for women to enjoy it.

 

ha, I think you guys are just far more receptive to a bit of dirty talk. My boyfriend is also a big fan! I’ve got to be in the right mood for it otherwise it’s a little embarrassing. I dial it down a lot with girls, mostly I’d just ask if what I’m doing feels good, if they like what I’m doing. I’ve found it best not to comment on physical stuff unless you know it’s going to land well, better to focus on how it feels.

 

Some guys like to bottom, some guys like being top, others a mix. Generally in my relationship with my fem gay partner he is bottom, I'm generally top as I quite masculine, lift weights etc But sometimes I like him to be top, I love his cock going inside me, but he's not too keen on it but does it because I ask him to. Different strokes for different folks !!

 

I had been with women and licked their vagina along with intercourse. That was several years ago. But when I finally gave into my fantasies and tried a transsexual escort (born female but with the male parts down there) I was honestly hooked !! Loved it and have done it since.

 

I see, I really can't answer because looking back, straight sex didn't do much for me.

This is more what I do, I don't get really dirty' but I just tell him how nice it looks or how nice it feels. Sometimes it really feels good probably because of years of repression to say something like "I really want your c*ck inside me". I mostly do it during oral to get feedback, but also let him know how nice it looks and that I can't wait to taste his orgasm in my mouth.

with women, I couldn't even bring myself to ask if it felt good, I was totally focused on just getting it over with.

People who thought they were straight- the same sex attraction was there all the time. What I think @Chip means is that repression, denial and other subconscious can be incredibly powerful.

 

But for years I repressed it. A couple of girlfriends said that they thought I was gay and I denied it. I felt incredible shame and guilt about being gay and my mind worked hard to repress my thoughts and come up with excuses.I had the fantasies and desires since puberty but it wasn't until I accepted myself that I realized how intense they were and any interest in women faded away. I realize I never really had sexual interest in women -or only very slight.

 

It was really terrible feeling to beat myself up about my own natural desires and wants. For years I thought I could never get past the shame and guilt. I never thought that I would smile with pleasure as another man and I had sex. Empty Closets has really helped me feel good about being gay. I no longer feel like its a flaw but I am genuinely appreciative that I have teh ability to be so physically intimate and connect with someone compared to the 'dead sex' I used to have with women.

 

True, I obviously can't speak for him and it is certainly possible there are other physiological processes that come into play. But for the overwhelming majority of cases I have seen here, almost everyone eventually remembers some sort of attraction earlier in life that was repressed or forgotten.
Also, though again its possible that genuine shifts occur, I don't think it can be replicated in a process. Its also possible there are multiple causes and origins.

 

I think that people of the same sex have stronger bonds than mixed couples as they psychologically connect better. Romantically and sexually.

 

I sort of agree with this, although I've never felt romantic towards a girl. But having more in common must be a big help.

 

My take is that you're sexual orientation is fixed from birth but hetronormative programming may cause you to discover your sexuality later in life. Societal changes, internet and acceptance of homosexuality has in my view made it easier to discover one's real sexuality. If I grow up in Ireland in the 80s, I may never have even been aware of my same sex attraction.

 

I don't believe in a fixed sexual orientation at birth. Sexual orientation is attraction to one or more genders. Gender is not black and white, why should orientation be.

I believe we all have within us, deep down, the capability to be attracted to men, women, and everyone in-between or beyond. Genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences cause us to narrow down that broad attraction to a focus on a specific set of people, but the innate ability is still there, and throughout life, different circumstances can cause us to widen or narrow or completely move that focus.