I think its just the nervous excitement. It is something that you have perhaps held onto internally for a while and talking about it with other people on here makes it seem more real and possible. I'm sure if you had a lady there you would figure it out haha.
Like I can chat online maybe fantasize a bit but if it goes to where we're chatting vocally or we might meet i wimp out.
You might wimp out but you might not. Why do you think you might wimp out? Is that something which has happened before?
Constantly and I just feel like I don't have the courage to act on things. Sometimes I think I need someone to show up at the apartment
Since I came out to myself as a lesbian, I feel like my anxiety revolving around my orientation is a lot more present in general. Actually, it's like my brain wants to "check" all the time that I am indeed homosexual. I know I'm 100% sure, but it feels like there is a part of my brain that won't leave me alone, like it's always looking out for "proofs" that I am gay. I have intrusive thoughts about "who would I picture myself with", "this guy VS this girl"... It's exhausting, really. Maybe I'm just lonely. It's like I have an urge to settle down with a non-existent girl just to calm down this completely irrational part of my brain that wants a kind of confirmation. Any tips? I searched a little and I found that "HOCD" was a thing (OCDs revolving around questionning your sexuality). I don't know if these intrusive thoughts are in fact a form of OCDs, I feel like it's just a mix between my anxiety over life in general and my hormones basically waking up as soon as I became aware of myself.
Hey I think it is actually more common than you would think. There are people who realise they are gay, come out and feel like the weight of the world has been lifted and never look back and that is great but it doesnt happen like that for everyone and that is also perfectly normal and ok. For me when I first figured out I was gay it was terrifying and then I came to terms with it a bit more and told a couple of people but then I felt for a while that I was in limbo, I kind of felt like I didn't know how to be a lesbian. I like you often wanted to find confirmation that I was right. The more I keep moving along my journey the better it got. Figuring out my sexuality and coming out was like being on the biggest rollercoaster of my life, the ups and downs were so high and so low and could change from one to the other so frequently. I know its tough to doubt yourself but you will get there. The people you are out to, are they people you feel like you can talk to about everything you have going on or not?
Hi everyone. I'm Jess haven't been here in a while. I'm from California and definitely a lesbian. How is everyone doing today?
Hey, thank you for your reply. I agree that it took some time for me to realize that I was gay (and not bisexual) because I had this fake idea that gay people were actually 100% sure since their childhood. I didn't realize that gay people could have a lack of confidence or be questionning about themselves. I think I had for a long time the stereotype of the "confident lesbian woman" in my head. In the end, for every LGBT person, it may tough to make the link between your inner identity, personality, feelings, "uniqueness", and the representations you have of the community and the "standard LGBT person". Like there would be 1 way to be gay... I guess figuring out that everyone has their own way to be themselves in crucial, but that is why I can doubt myself so easily. But honestly, the more I think of it, the more I think that every LGBT person went through some anxiety/doubt even after coming out to themselves. But yeah, coming out to ourselves is terrifying. It is scary, because we know the struggles about finding someone to love in a world of straight people. It's scary when we realize that we didn't have the same eyes that other girls all along... And then we think about coming out to our family, our parents, about our future life... It's still hard to delete the guilt of knowing that I just can't see myself in a basic housewife married-with-kids role. This was just never the future I planned for me, and it doesn't even have to do with the fact that I'm gay...It just doesn't help. In the end, whatever, I guess we all have our own destinies to fulfill... Actually a few years ago I came out as bisexual to around 10 people (they were all friends, whether of not they were close to me or not). But I only recently came out as a lesbian to my 2 best friends. We support each other a lot and we all talk about insecurities in life, etc. Hi Jess, welcome. Today was a long but good day. How about yours?
It's great that you have 2 really supportive friends that you can discuss things with. It can be a difficult path to tread but now I feel like I am over some of the most difficult hurdles, I can look back, reflect and feel that having had to go through all that has potentially made me a better person. So whilst it didnt feel like it at the time there are some postives to come out of it.
Hii I just joined and am looking for new people to chat with who have similar interests as me!! Anyone love the office? (I know sounds basic but I can’t help it, it’s a funny show)