loneliness

Also, benedryl works for that nudge. I take a pill and snap it in half sometimes an hour or so before bed. It used to be too strong for me, but now... sleep doesn't always come as easily every time and it does help.

 

I will keep you posted on the sleep issues....my eldest aged 13 stayed over last night. She has ADHD and chronic anxiety. It gives mum a break, she knows I'm not straight so no secrets... I did sleep better having her here. She would like to live with me full time but I need to develop my life and my counselor said it's not a good idea...

I've been to Majorca a number of times, beautiful.

Your place in California sounds beautiful too....

Xx

 

-> My heart is aching for a sweet and sensitive human being who actually "gets me" on an emotional level.

I’m not sure why, but I was drawn to your post. I think everybody wants this, I know I do as well.

-> It's hard not to blame myself and be angry towards myself

I used to do the same. I finally just got tired of beating myself up. It wasn’t going to get any better because of my blaming myself. I truly ran out of energy to use to hate myself. Once the cloud cleared, I realised things were better than I had been aware of, and my attitude turned positive.

-> I've spent what could have been some of the best years of my life trapped in the same situation.

Yep. Then one day you just say f*ck it. I’d tired of this. What else is there that I can obsess over instead of me.

-> Believe it or not I don't enjoy wallowing in this state of misery and isolation.

This is loud and clear.

-> It's made it really difficult for me to trust people and put myself out there.

Ahhhh.. something you can work on to bring about positive change. You have started by leaving your post, to open up. I know, just a little, but in the right direction. Cool.

Now tell me about you - what kind of person are you, what kind of things do you like? The next step is sharing yourself with someone else. I promise I won’t bite (not too hard).

 

Not trying to scare you, but just this AM I read an article that applies to you:

https://www.popsci.com/sleep-deprivation-brain-activity

 

Thank you I've just read the article, interesting, I do get anxiety. I had a bad dream last night, but it wasn't a nightmare. My dad is bipolar, has been many years and my mum has depression but is still working....mental health and anxiety run in my family. My ex wife has moderate to severe depression she has been told but refused all medication. I think that's why my daughter is ADHD and anxiety....

The guy I'm fond of suffers with depression too!! I think that's why he won't commit a relationship with me. I know he likes me but shuts himself away from the world for days at a time.

 

Yeah, it's hard when you're depressed to feel like you have much of anything to offer another person. :-/

 

Somewhere in the world someone feels exactly the same way as you do. Someone meant for you in all the ways unimaginable. The wait is terrible and sometimes it seems we will never find what it is we desire but I've learned it's when you want something the most that it finds the best way to elude you. You've got to live with warmth in order to be able to welcome more warmth in. You'll have what you seek when it finds you, it somehow seems to work best that way because that way you know it's meant for you and no one else with a heart full of certainty and a soul full of newfound peace.

 

This is written so beautifully. And it's very true. Op, I was starting to lose faith I would be able to find someone who understood me and loved me for who I was. But I have found that now. Please don't give up. I almost did and I'm so glad I didn't.

 

Thank you for the words of kindness and encouragement it is needed every once in awhile as I wait. That's wonderful that love has found you. I wish you nothing but more love and every phenomenal experience it brings to you. Best.

 

Having a pet can be a comfort because they offer affection in return for all the things you do for them.

I find that going to events like festivals and exhibitions can help with loneliness. There are people at their own stands selling their work or promoting a business, and they are there to talk about what they do for a living. So you actually get to speak with them about subjects they are passionate about and projects they are involved with. It's totally different from being out with friends who just want to get drunk and talk about meaningless things. You actually get to have intellectual conversation, and you make them feel good because you've listened to their story.

 

I feel you. I just came out and ended an engagement. All my friends were my ex's and things are awkward. I don't have anyone to seriously talk to, and don't have time or energy to truly meet new people till semester is over. What's getting me through is video journaling. The thought of someone else connecting to my videos is getting me through. But they are super personal so obviously I don't post them anywhere. Might help you out. If your'e in a place where you can't meet people.

 

For so long I thought I was crazy for feeling like I was going to be alone my whole life. I haven’t been in a relationship in about 9 years and the relationship I was in broke me. I have a hard time trusting and have little to no confidence in myself. I recently met someone and thought things were great...she backed off out of the blue and said she enjoys single life but still wants to be friends...so I’ve accepted that because I have to. At the same time it has made me think even more maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m meant to be alone. During the day I keep my mind busy with work and studying, the nights get hard my mind never shuts off.

 

It's really hard and all we want is to meet that special person. Focusing on other stuff like wheels88 said helps. I put everything into my 3 children. I now realize I took them a bit for granted when I was with my wife. Im now building better relationships with them. I have also refocused on my work.
If I'm lonely in the evening I put the TV or music on in the background and I find this really helps me.

 

I definitely try to find things to keep my mind busy I work overtime and I study a lot. I’m not a social person at all so it’s hard to get out and meet new people. I’ve tried the whole online dating sites...get a lot of weird messages.

 

I definitely feel lonely

 

I'm considering the apps next year but will be very careful. I need to be clear what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a long term relationship. But I'm a bit nervous. I wanted to find someone away from the apps but that seems more tricky than I first thought....

 

So most places stress they are not for "hookups", but the apps are for sex. Where does somebody go to find a relationship?

I've been thinking a bunch about this lately, and I think I have some leads. Where did you meet your wife? Get yourself out in public areas, obviously bigger cities are better than small towns. That's ok too, since I really don't want it out in the small towns I live in. Maybe somebody at work? Of course, that depends on your work climate. Lots of employers are ok with gays, while the position I held was for straights only. I would have been dumped if I had come out there. Know your surroundings.

 

I met my ex wife on a blind date....lol...her best friend started dating my best friend....then after a few weeks we went on a double date....we were friends for a bit before it got serious, we didn't sleep together for 3 months if I remember....correctly....
There have been a couple guys, one at work but he is only 20ish...and I'm 43, yeah I would love a fling but don't see it going much beyond that....he has a girl friend but I'm sure his bisexual. There is this weird chemistry between us, but my job is important...
There's a guy at the LGBT who's 37 so perfect age, I started getting feelings for him but something holds him back, just don't think his ready yet. I said I will give him done time, but again don't think it will come to much..
I don't want to chase guys, want it to come naturally.....
There are some better meet up groups in another area, might give them ago and London does a gay dad's meet, but not enough in my little old town....I thought it would be easy,

 

I have plenty of friends, but I'm the only gay guy at my school (that I know of, it's the 8th grade so no one has come out yet) so no one is available to be in a relationship

 

-> I don't want to chase guys, want it to come naturally.....

This is the key. You'll meet someone doing things you enjoy doing.