When did you notice you weren't straight?

I was young maybe 3rd grade when I started noticing guys. I still liked girls too. I was 14 when I spent the night at a friends house and he showed me how to jo and we gave each other bjs. I was very closeted but had a fwb in the service and a camping buddy. I never really considered myself anything til many years later I admitted to myself that I was bi.

 

About 8 years ago when a ex girlfriend asked me out of the blue if I would ever be with a guy, I said maybe and then she asked would I ever kiss a guy. At that moment I said no. But later once alone I started thinking about t and I became aroused.

 

I think this was short, so props to ya

Part of realizing I was gay, was having one person that got me questioning it. I also experimented by thinking about her while masturbating and yeah, it was "wow". I didn't have others I liked at the time while questioning, she was my best lead. After I accepted it and became comfortable, I eventually could find myself feeling attraced to others. I don't feel attracted to anything that moves, I normally need an emotional connection, but I feel more than than before. Everyone is different though.

 

It was very random for me i think it was around highschool it's when i started watching porn and i realized that actually i wasn't really that into girls ... you know. To me it was a little bit off putting but i was focusing more and more on the mans uh object (i was always into the face of the women and not so interested in the guy) so i started questioning a bit and back then i told myself i couldn't possibly be 'gay' since i wasn't attracted to a guys appearance only was a bit turned on by the guys down below and grew more and more disliking of the girls. Slowly i realised i might be bisexual or some varient of it and i began to realize that this was not really straight. At first i was in denial but after a while i just accepted it.

 

I think I have always had feelings of some sort or another...I know I have always been way too in touch with my feminine side...
Playing doctor with my best friend when we were in fourth grade was the first time I ever experienced intimacy; then I strongly repressed or suppressed it for years...
That said when I was in my teens I was hit on several times by older gay men (20-30’s)...on the surface I felt weirded out/under the surface I was excited...
I have only had full sexual relations with females (which I enjoyed)...
But as I have gotten older I have had intense fantasies and st times lament that maybe I didn’t act on these invitations when I was a teenager to explore myself in a different way...guess that really sounds messed up

 

I agree I think I would have enjoyed my youth more that’s for sure instead of living in doubt fear and self loathing

 

When I was teenager in the 1990s gay relationship s were a no no. I missed out on the best years of my life feeling dirty and ashamed.
Now at 42 it's hard to find someone....

 

My first crush was on my kindergarten teacher who was a woman. But it was more of fleeting sort of infatuation that didn’t last more than a month.

Because then I met and had a REALLY long crush (dare I say the closest thing I felt to romantic love so far) on a close female friend of mine. I would have fantasies of actually marrying and kissing her haha. I felt very tingly when we would share baths together. She made me feel loved and accepted for who I am and all of my emotions(Emotional repression is really big in my family). She’s also really pretty...I really liked looking at her face. XD

It was around 5th grade that I was aware of my heterosexual attraction. My first crush on a guy occurred after a classmate who also had a crush on him revealed to me some of her fantasies with him. I ended up imagining myself in those scenarios and BAM, I got a crush I could’t shake off for awhile. I crushed on another guy later, because I was infatuated with his ability to do certain stunts, create cool crafts, and talk about some of the most random things in science. He also had these really nice aquamarine eyes.

6th grade was the year I became aware of different sexual identities. (Outside of the homophobic bullying from when I was younger) I realized that people can be sincerely attracted to/ in love with eachother, more than friends. (I just assumed everyone was some asexual aromantic, who married/had sex with someone of the opposite sex just to have kids to raise into excellence. It seemed like my parents were like that so XD) After learning about the definitions, I figured out that I’m Bi. (and somewhat fluid)

 

I was 12 years old and more interested in getting my first kiss from this one girl in my neighborhood than boys who had crushes on me.

 

When I realise gender does not matter in love

 

I was about 14 at school and found myself staring intently at a male teacher's ass. And it was in that moment I said to myself "that's it I'm gay". Didn't come out until I was 20 though.

 

I always knew I liked boys and girls, I just wouldn’t say I really had a “trigger” because I didn’t even know there was a word for that, I thought everyone around me was the same way until I was atleast 11 to be honest. But first attraction to a girl was I guess my nanny, i remember standing in the elevator with her one day just thinking what it’d be like to kiss her. Wouldn’t say it made me realize I was attracted to more girls in my life because I didn’t have any crushes on girls in school actually, but for a good few years all I watched was girls on girls so in a general sense it made me realize I was.

 

Tricky one. Tricky because for 100 different people, you may have 100 different answers.
I first realized the first time a male friend of mine showed me his penis, I couldn't look away, and happily went to bed with him to play when he suggested we do.
But on another note, you said "like I know when they're good looking but I don't think I'm necessarily attracted to them" and that makes me think of a study I read about recently.
In this study, researchers examined the similarity between what subjects REPORTED they were attracted to, vs their measured reactions to a series of photos designed to gauge what they were REALLY attracted to. Turns out that people apparently suck at predicting who they'll actually be attracted to.
Then maybe your attraction is based on an emotional affinity, I hope it works out for you!

 

It's a choice, what an idiot! Because yeah, so many of us "choose" to be excluded, "choose" to be in a place where we're made to feel like we're broken; like there's something wrong with us, "choose" to create often irreparable rifts within our families because of parents who aren't strong enough to love unconditionally, "choose" living in fear of being bullied, attacked, murdered.
Choice, indeed! What a fool!

 

I know and it makes me really angry, this person even has a gay son!!

 

The signs were there all along, I was ready to acknowledge them in my early twenties.

I'm now 25 and identifying as lesbian. For the most part I thought I was straight, then that I was curious, then bisexual. It took some time for the realization to sink in.

 

I had moments throughout life where I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. You think I would have figured it out way before now, but I just stayed in denial never connecting the dots. It was the Pulse club incident in Orlando that made me realize the truth and start working towards acceptance. All of my bogged down fears became open wounds. I remember thinking all those that died did so living their truth and how shameful/disrespectful it would be of me to stay living in hiding. It wasn't right. I was depressed forever after that. It was a month or so later that I came out to my husband and son.

 

I noticed early but I think a lot of people aren't 100% straight but, say, 80% or 90%. So I didn't identify as bi until in college when it reached a more significant degree. I met other gay girls and I think it had a lot of impact on me to see that two women can actually love each other and what it looks like. I could finally make sense of what I was feeling.

 

So sad.

 

I can't pinpoint one moment but looking back at it now something should've clicked sooner. As a kid, 11-ish, I suppose I was extremely obsessed with my female best friend where I was almost possessive of her. I didn't want her hanging out with anyone but me and got annoyed anytime anyone else hung out with her. I was obsessed with a lot of female celebrities growing up and when I look at it now I realize I probably had more crushes on them than wanting to be them. I was teased a lot as a kid and now I understand why. I grew up in a very heteronomative household where it was always one day you'll have a husband. I wasn't well versed in gay society so I didn't know I could maybe one day have a wife instead. So basically it was a lot of these little things that I didn't get as a kid but as an adult I understand.