When did you notice you weren't straight?

For me, from a young child I knew I was attracted to a lot of different guys. I just didn't know that meant I was gay.

However it's super common for people to have that one 'trigger' to realise. And when you're mind opens up more you might realise you like more guys.

However again, It could be you just like that one guy. I have a galpal who dated a girl for over a year but doesn't identify as a lesbian. Says she doesn't feel attraction to girls but with her she liked her and wanted to be intimate with her.

 

I think giving a friend a blow job when I was a teenager was my first clue. Actually I’ve been mostly straight for most of my life. I noticed that over the years, when watching porn, I started to become excited by putting myself in the place of the woman. I started to realize I was bisexual and one day I just accepted it. I think I always knew though

 

Oh yea i definitely had a person who triggered my realization that i couldn’t be straight. I was 12, I had zero attraction to girls but I thought that would change, then I started feeling attracted to one of my school friends who was obviously a guy.
Then I started testing myself by looking at attractive guys and figuring out if/what I liked about them.
Once I realized I was gay unfortunately I dove into the closet and locked the doors for a decade.
Then in my 20s I couldn’t hold it in anymore so I came out. I haven’t regretted it ever, my only regret is not coming out sooner.

 

I was a teen. I found myself looking at guys in gym class among other places. I did not know what to do with those feeling until a sleep over one night at a friends. I still liked girls but also boys.

 

I think one person can trigger that response and sometimes that one person becomes a crush, fantasy, or idealization.
It sorta happened to me in that all of a sudden my guy friend was cute and I was attracted to him. But then I started to notice other cute boys.

 

This seems to be very common

 

Truly realized? Around eighteen. But I was a curious teen with an active mind so the idea definitely crossed my mind.

 

I think this is way more common than people realize.

 

Yes this is totally normal. And yes, you might start to notice guys more after this. It's all okay and totally fine.

 

Actually if I had known how common it was I would t have felt so weird about it. I knew I loved it but that bothered me so I just ignored it for years

 

I would be in that noticed while enjoying the sex part crowd lol

 

I had a huge crush on my (super straight) best friend pretty much all through high school. I told myself it was just him—I couldn’t (wouldn’t) be gay for anyone else. But I also had pretty much zero interest in women and the locker rooms were always the best part about gym class. Silly me...

That said, coming out and being with a guy really wasn’t a safe option then & there, so maybe it was my way of protecting myself.

 

I'd always been curious about other boys but was also attracted to girls. It wasn't until I discovered the Kinsey scale when I was like 15 that I realized it wasn't just curiosity. Over time the feelings for guys got stronger despite how much I tried to fight it, and then once I stopped fighting it, it became apparent I was pretty much only interested in guys (Jennifer Lawrence excluded).

 

It’s so funny I’ve seen you say the thing about Jennifer Lawrence on other posts and seeing her in x men was one of the big things that made me start to understand my lack of heterosexuality. When I found myself looking at pictures of her (because I thought I just wanted to look like her and obviously needed to spend hours looking at her to discover ways to style my hair...) till late at night I started to understand how intense my feelings were. I denied I felt that way for years lol

 

I had some interest as a young teen, but also liked girls. From early on, however, I would fantasize about a guy I would see at the pool or gym, but would ultimately find actual sexual gratification with a female. As time moved on, however, my fantasies and arousal level increasingly was about guys, and then, after a long wait, I finally acted on it.

 

I've just posted my story on this in the 'Welcome' forum. For me, it was a sudden realisation not actually associated with thinking about a particular person (I've tried to recollect exactly what chain of thought led me to it but can't remember - it was as my mind was idly turning over the day before I went to sleep one night). It was like a whole load of things fell into place and I felt stupid for not realising before. From reading through the forum I think it's unusual for it to be as sudden as it was for me.

 

Same thing happened to me. I remember sitting in bed and started thinking "am I gay?" And it really was this sudden realization and sudden flip of the switch in my brain. I also felt really stupid for not realizing until I was 30.

 

Wow, are you me?! So much the same. I'm normally so analytical (some might say an over-thinker!) so it felt really out of character to have completely missed something so big.

 

I knew I was bisexual or gay at about age 12. My attraction to guys was about 90 percent and 10 perfect for females. Though I have been married to a female, now separated.

I was talking about my sexuality today at work. I feel I was born bisexual, gay .But someone at work said it's a choice!! I don't agree with that but kept quiet!
Rade