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Please help! in love with my "straight" friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by HoustonAtlanta, Oct 24, 2015.

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  1. HoustonAtlanta

    HoustonAtlanta
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    I kind of feel the same way you feel but he throws me off sometime. Like once he said he can't see himself kissing another male. Then one time he said "I never here you talking about girls which is a clear indication that your head is not in that space right now. If it's gonna be a male you want to talk to then go talk to one, I just want YOU to be happy whatever you choose." And then also we had a talk about two girls that he was FaceTiming....and he said he could see hisself dating one of them.....

    So it's like a part of me is telling me he sees me as a friend based off of how we converse....and another part is telling me he's in love with me...he's just trying to play the "Imma be here to support you and won't judge you role" to cover himself up.

    But you know what...I get it. I'm a closeted male...so I totally get it. But my thing is he doesn't have to tell the world but I do want him to tell me. He's doing all the things to me that people falling in love would do, then he switches it up and puts me in the "like a brother zone" and it's hurting me because I'm so in love right now beyond words
     
    #41 HoustonAtlanta, Nov 2, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2015
  2. Afterfshn

    Afterfshn
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    Yeah I know exactly what you mean, I'm kinda that way too some time. He will act a certain way and then I feel like he is coming too close. So than I will push him away and blur something out like we have to go out and chase some girls. I know it's so so stupid but I don't know, we both put out mixed signals. I wished so bad that we would just be honest about where we stand. But I guess we both don't have the balls to do it and just rather beat around the bush. You feel me?

    Like yeah in my opinion he is trying to set you up on a date, so you could move on. And than eventually he has to move on too. Like lets find somebody else so we can stop seeing each other. But those two girls, did he go on a date with one of them or was it just more to prove a point that he is straight. Do you guys ever go out to chase girls or do you guys always stay in and 'netflix and chill'? hahaha. That sounds nice ha netflix and chill with your guy!

    Yeah I feel like its way easier to come out to a closeted male, so when people see you guys together they won't think you guys are a couple. But yeah who knows what goes on in his mind. He definitely does things that boyfriends do for their SO. He goes beyond. But like on the other hand he knows you are in love with him, why is it so hard for him to admit? So like maybe he isn't in love with you? But like most straight guy wouldn't continue the friendship.

    I don't know, it's hard to read him, my gut tells the biggest part of him not admitting his feeling is his career field. It's so homophobic. You read a lot of times they dreamt of being a NFL player since they were a child and they will let nothing stop them. Not even love!

    Has he texted you yet?

    (in my next post I won't overuse the word 'Like' I promise hihi)
     
    #42 Afterfshn, Nov 2, 2015
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  3. HoustonAtlanta

    HoustonAtlanta
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    Yes he texted me. Just found out I got fired from my job....so between him gone and losing my job, I'm a wreck right now
     
    #43 HoustonAtlanta, Nov 2, 2015
  4. Afterfshn

    Afterfshn
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    Omg I'm so sorry. Thats so f*cked up, I hope you can find another job quick. Hopefully he will help you through this!

    If you need like a stranger just to listen, you can PM me!
     
    #44 Afterfshn, Nov 2, 2015
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  5. HoustonAtlanta

    HoustonAtlanta
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    Ok will do!
     
    #45 HoustonAtlanta, Nov 2, 2015
  6. Superconffused

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    Same here man I'm all ears. I really do feel for you. Dm me whenever you need.
     
    #46 Superconffused, Nov 2, 2015
  7. HoustonAtlanta

    HoustonAtlanta
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    thank you. i just talked to him an hour ago, and he said "we gonna be good." we talked about getting an apartment together in february of 2016, so its something to think about. im gonna try to fall back for a while, because we have a STRONG friendship so I doubt hes going anywhere. I want to clear my mind and not think about him everyday, especially now that i lost my job i have to make that my primary focus right now....we still text every other day, so i guess there is no reason to be sad.
     
    #47 HoustonAtlanta, Nov 2, 2015
  8. Afterfshn

    Afterfshn
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    Yeah you should put your focus on yourself. Maybe go to the gym to clear your mind and socialize to find a job.
     
    #48 Afterfshn, Nov 3, 2015
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  9. Afterfshn

    Afterfshn
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    Oh my replies are removed! Did you read my latest reply? Or Shall I re-write it?
     
    #49 Afterfshn, Nov 10, 2015
  10. HoustonAtlanta

    HoustonAtlanta
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    Lol re-write I didn't see it
     
    #50 HoustonAtlanta, Nov 10, 2015
  11. Superconffused

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    I think we lost your update Houston
     
    #51 Superconffused, Nov 10, 2015
  12. Afterfshn

    Afterfshn
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    Well you were saying why would he be so standoffish?

    When people tend to come too close to a person they tend to take a step back or run away. In this case I think he is feeling that also and doesn't know how to act towards you. Because thats scary when you let your guard down and be vunerable. Maybe he is thinking about what he wants from life? 'You' or football?

    Maybe he thinks when he acts distant his feelings might go away. The best thing you can do is give him some time and space.

    When will he be back in town again? Then you will know if he is really stand offish or that he was just busy.
     
    #52 Afterfshn, Nov 10, 2015
  13. HoustonAtlanta

    HoustonAtlanta
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    Yes i totally understand what you mean. And i totally accept him wanting space. Shoot even for me because, when he first left, i was sad, depressed etc. But now with him being gone almost two weeks in, I don't really stress or stand by the phone waiting for a text anymore, maybe thats what I needed.

    On Saturday night i asked him "did i do something wrong because normally well text each other first mutually, but it seems like this week i been doing all the texting...if i did anything to hurt ya im sorry." and thats when he said, "what are you talking about, we texted everyday this week, and besides, who thinks about stuff like that bro." So i tested the waters....Sunday he didnt text me first at all and i aint text him...but Monday night, he texted me first surprisingly (a very short convo)...but im glad he texted me first. Then we texted all day tuesday.

    So i don't know maybe i am over reacting to things. As far as him coming back. im not for sure...he always just kinda pops up. I kind of don't want him to come back because i know im gonna fall in love again smh. If he does come back, I'd wish he just opens up this time mannnnnnnnn.....

    Part of me is telling me he sees me as just a brother/friend....but then part of me says heck no. this man has gotten naked in front of me several times and has let me massage his nipples lol. aint no way.
     
    #53 HoustonAtlanta, Nov 11, 2015
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  14. Afterfshn

    Afterfshn
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    Omg massage his nipples hahaha thats crazy

    Yeah I know that feeling, somehow it's good when your crush isn't around so you can focus at night. But somehow I don't have closure or answers to all my questions. Like I always hope that he might be closeted as hell and has a hard time processing. But I don't know

    Yes exactly, I'm the same. I overanalyze the shit about all THE thing he has done and said. Thats exactly what drives us crazy.

    Why wouldn't he come back to your city? Did he get transfered?
     
    #54 Afterfshn, Nov 11, 2015
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  15. HoustonAtlanta

    HoustonAtlanta
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    he doesnt live here, he just visits alot. and when he does come in town its normally a month. He did say yesterday "when i come back" so he might be coming back lol
     
    #55 HoustonAtlanta, Nov 11, 2015
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  16. Afterfshn

    Afterfshn
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    Oh stop I cant keep up with you hahahah

    Maybe you should go on a date when he is in town! Maybe he will realize what he is losing!
     
    #56 Afterfshn, Nov 11, 2015
  17. Afterfshn

    Afterfshn
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    Oh stop I cant keep up with you hahahah

    Maybe you should go on a date when he is in town! Maybe he will realize what he is losing!
     
    #57 Afterfshn, Nov 11, 2015
  18. HoustonAtlanta

    HoustonAtlanta
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    He texted me first today checking on me (which made me smile from ear to ear lol) and we texted all day today. And he leaves to go out to Cali for a month and he asked me to call and wake him up for his flight I hope that's a good thing
     
    #58 HoustonAtlanta, Nov 11, 2015
  19. Afterfshn

    Afterfshn
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    Aah thats such ni a gesture! It also shows how much you care. How did it went?
     
    #59 Afterfshn, Nov 12, 2015
  20. Afterfshn

    Afterfshn
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    Aah thats such a gesture! It also shows how much you care. How did it went?
     
    #60 Afterfshn, Nov 12, 2015
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