How do I move this forward...

Everything you've written here is perfect and I for one am going to print it out, laminate it and stick it in my wallet. Well, maybe not but I'm going to re-read it every once in a while.
I hope Katie takes your advice because it's spot on. Yours is the voice of reason.
Thank you for sharing it.

 

Katie, I think if you can possibly pluck up the courage you should go back. I think if you see her and confront the situation it would be better than what you are feeling now. There is no way she can be horrible to you. You haven't done anything wrong. I'm surprised even if she is in a relationship she hasn't just sent a text go say actually thanks but no thanks. I think I
Would but then who knows what her circumstances are. I just think seeing her would make you feel a little less insecure about the situation. I don't know you but from what I have read I don't think the problem is you. There is more to this than meets the eye. You have lived our dream Katie and you deserve to be happy. You will find it, maybe not with this particular girl but you will. Hope I'm as brave as you one day.
Keep smiling

 

I completely agree with this.

 

Just read your post where you said you didn't know how someone could be so friendly and not mean it. I'm not saying she didn't mean it but I used to do a job which was basically customer service, like hers is, and I definitely remember being "on" during my shift. I wasn't like that anywhere else. It was sort of an act because we were "fronting" for the corporation.
I suspect the blushing was because you were getting in, past the mask a bit.
You've had lots of advice in this thread. Whatever you decide to do, just hold your head up because you have no reason to feel stupid. That's only for when you know something ahead of time and go against what you know.

 

Thank you so much, that is so kind! I'm glad I can be useful! And I believe every word of what I wrote - sometimes you just don't know what is going on in someone's life, and so many of us project based on what is happening in OUR lives, rather than on the fact that a different person can have a situation going on that we are completely unaware of, and on top of that they can have a totally different way of approaching life than we do.

If this happened to me, I would prepare myself for some bad scenarios, and then get up the courage and go in there and find out what happened. Most of the time, when you prepare for the worst, whatever happens is a lot more pleasant than that! If she's somebody who is terrible at communication, and would rather avoid Katie altogether than explain what she is feeling, then Katie really got saved because that kind of person is torture to be in a relationship with anyway! She'd end up spending half her life trying to drag what this girl really means out of her, because she's the type if girl who is cripplingly afraid of conflict and of expressing her honest feelings in front of someone who might feel differently. It's true, Katie may never get a clear answer, even if she asks. But at least it would answer some questions to try, and at least make sure she did in fact get the note.

I'm not sure the best way to approach this, but probably the less confrontational the better. Maybe as someone else had said, just going up to her and saying, "Hey, about that note I had my friend give you - I had to give it a shot. (I couldn't miss the opportunity to let someone as beautiful/great/nice as you know how I feel.) No hard feelings, ok?" Then at least you could return to your own grocery store with your head held high, and no weirdness after the first few times back. If there was a misunderstanding, her response will tell you that, and if you still have a chance. If not, it is still the mark of greatness to have tried!

I just thought of another possibility we didn't discuss - Katiexxx, are you sure you wrote the note clearly? Any chance she couldn't read some of the words, or could not make out the correct phone number? Another possibility that may be a long shot but could have happened - maybe she lost her phone service due to lack of money (cashier salary), or perhaps she entered her number in her phone to try when she got up the nerve, tossed away the note, and then broke her phone!

I guess you'll never know if you don't go back in there and try to speak to her for a few minutes. It's always possible that just because she dresses butch, and even likes you, that she may still not ready to face being gay yet. And if that is the case, you're not going to have much luck, or any clear answer, and it's not likely she will come out just for you. If she's in that kind of place - and I have met some butch women who are - it might take her years for her to be ready, if she ever is. The only thing you can control in this life is yourself. So keep it classy, and you'll have nothing to regret when you look back on this experience! You'll have a lot more successful experiences to look forward to because of it, because this will give you the courage to try, and to keep trying! Keep reminding yourself, it only gets better from here.

 

My goodness, I just love what you wrote in here!
This is exactly how it is! Extremely practical bit of advice!

Thank you!

 

Katie,
your story is super cute, better than any telenovela or romance book. You have been very brave to "send" that girl that note. I would not know if I would have the courage to do that.

Please let us know how this story continues. Do you plan on visiting the store in the future? I keep my fingers crossed. Maybe sth. happened or the girl is cautious because of your baby.

Good luck.

 

So, where did this go ultimately?!

 

Katie hasn't been online for ages :-(
I like to think she is living the dream with her shopgirl!
Can we start a bring back Katie thread!!!!

 

lol agreed

 

Melanie, we share a name x

 

Wondering how things are going with the OP?

Oh, and thanks for the "ring education" everyone on the thread! Quite a learning experience!

 

OMG this is fantastic, so happy for you! Congratulations! So pleased you had a happy ending x

 

YES! Well done Katie! Just read this whole thread tonight, and it's been really inspiring! Also, need to go get some thumb rings...

 

Wow!!! So awesome!! Congratulations, love a great happy ending!

 

Congratulaions! Thanks for the update. You didn't say how, if any, thumb rings made an appearance.