Corrupt A Wish

You don't have school because you get hit by a car and end up in hospital all term
I wish that you wern't whining about school.

 

Granted. Now it's quiet... too quiet.

I wish I had a billion dollars so I could help those in need.

 

Granted. You get one billion Zimbabwean dollars, and can buy one loaf of bread.

I wish I had some fruit in the house.

 

Granted, I eat it right away

i wish for cuter hair

 

Granted - your hair is so cute that you can't stop flicking it Loreal style and you spend the rest of your life terribly dizzy!

I wish my pet rabbit could talk.

 

granted. Your rabbit won't stop talking about it's sexual relationships during inappropriate times.

I wish that I had an endless supply of happiness

 

Granted- all other emotions no longer exist and without sadness to judge your happiness by your happiness is worthless.

I wish I had some fudge.

 

you receive a lifetime supply of fudge. Too bad it was made on the 'boys cook it girls ruin it' thread.

I wish I was 'out of the closet'

 

Granted, but you're only out to a water vole.

I wish my school subjects are a bit easier to do.

 

School becomes so easy that you die of boredom.

I wish I was cis-gender.

 

Granted, but women keep swarming you, and there are no sticks with which to beat them off.

I wish there was at least one part of my body that could pass.

 

Granted everbody's elbows look pretty much the same.

I wish I could think of something to wish for.

 

Granted, but your thoughts are filled with nothing but things you can wish for. You can think of literally nothing else.

I wish my friend would stop being mad at me for no reason.

 

Your friend is no longer mad at you, but now everyone one else on the planet despises you.

I wish the person below me doesn't corrupt this wish.

 

I corrupt your wish anyway

I wish I was immortal

 

Congratulations you have been turned into a statue, to be preserved everywhere, and pooped on by pigeons everywhere as well.

I wish I didn't have gym class tomorrow

 

Granted, but this just will happen tomorrow and after it for the rest of your life there will be gym classe's day.

I wish i could live in Canada (now)

 

Granted, but you live in a primarily francophone area. Parles-tu français?

I wish I could afford to order Beowulf now, instead of having to wait til I get paid...

 

Granted, but you got stolen, and now you have no payments money and no Beowulf

Wish i could understand my own mind

 

You understand your mind but hate what you see.
I wish I could go to my future now.