This is an awful story. You might have hurt each other, but I don't think what you did was abuse, and I do think what he did was.
Haha it's just a step in your progress. Dealing for a period with no support. You will all do just fine.
Hey, Y'all have gotten WAAAYYY off the OPs initial question. But I'll respond to both sides of the issue. Women tend to kiss very softly and moistly. It is usually a very personal and exhilarating experience. Guys tend to kiss very aggressively. That usually means sucking in an upper or lower lip on their partner and interchanging that with inserting their tongue into their partner's mouth. (Which probably attributes to the description of 'sloppiness' here on this thread.) Yeah, lots of tongue action, especially when guys are kissing guys. Smart guys (and I hope to count myself among them) follow the lead of their female partner. My 2cents.
And everyone please stay calm while our resident therapist is otherwise engaged. Normal service will resume as soon as she's finished her extensive and exhaustive research.
Totally! I just wanted my husband not to be home. Like we could be just in the living room watching TV, him laying on one couch, me on the other and I was annoyed by him just being there. He wasn't even DOING anything 'wrong'! Just laying there. But still, I just wanted to him to just not be there! Maybe some of you can relate... Did I already mention to you guys that article I read somewhere online? It was about women who knew it was a mistake when they walked down the aisle but did it anyway. The author interviewed a bunch of women and they all told their brutally honest story. Anyway. That was me, kind of KNEW it was a mistake when we got married....so so many red flags. OMG was I messed up. And him and I were so mismatched (and not mismatched GOOD WAY!). And I went into the marriage knowing all this. What a mess it all was!
I am ok. I am more than ok bc now I have rediscovered myself in more ways than one. I rediscovered my confidence. I rediscovered my sexuality! Like BIG TIME! Oh my god, it's like puberty again like everyone says. It's so strange bc in high school and college I was not out, but I did identify as bi. I was voted the girl my straight girlfriends wanted to hook up with (give myself a little pat on the back for that). But I definitely feel like I'm becoming myself again.
Damn! You went to some progressive high school @OED27x --'voted the girl the straight girls wanted to hook up with.' * Our senior superlatives were more along the very vanilla lines of 'nicest smile', 'cutest couple', 'most likely to be wealthy '. (yawn) -wish I went to YOUR highschool! Here's to rediscovery and confidence!!! * and you go right ahead and pat yourself on the back for that! Winning that honor IS back patting worthy!
That's how I am. He travels a lot and I'm at the point where I'm good if I don't even talk to him. I knew before we married that something wasn't right. I was away for a 3 week deployment without him and during that trip I was thinking maybe we should breakup. Then I come home and find out I'm pregnant a couple days later. He was an ass to me the first 6 months we dated and I still went back to him. He tells that story like it was cool that he would go weeks without calling just to see if I would go crazy.
I'm not defending or supporting anyone here specifically, but this thread really makes it sound like pretty much ALL guys are bad kissers. I would ask the married women, though, when you complain about your husband's bad kissing, have you ever tried to fix it? I mean you are equal partners in the relationship right? Why wouldn't you try to direct him towards how to properly kiss to please you? Perhaps I'm just a stupid Bi guy, but I normally focus on my partners' pleasure and adjusting to what he/she finds more desirable. Personally, I get off as much by getting my partner excited as anything else. I dunno.
I'm sure that not all guys are bad kissers. At this point in my marriage the last thing I want to do is kiss him. Mostly due to all the crappy things he has put me through. Anyways, sorry to imply that all guys are bad kissers.
I don't think all guys are bad kissers. I have had a few that were really good. I've had a few though that were really bad. This one guy kept biting my lip and gave me a swollen lip at the end. Some guys just aren't open to change.
The men I've kissed - all three of them - were not bad kissers. However, there was always background "noise" in my head. The first woman I kissed - I don't know if she's a bad kisser in general, but she was not incredibly interested in kissing me. The woman I'm seeing now - it's so different from everything else. The noise is gone, I'm in the moment and little else matters, and she is definitely just as engaged as I am.