How to tell if a site doesn't take your martial art seriously. Compare their uniforms. If they offer regular uniforms for some arts and yours comes with a built in balaclava, they don't take you seriously...fucking morons...
So like, no gender marker letter from my doctor today....wth. and still no call back from that Audrey therapist lady. I'm not callin' back cuz i shouldn't have to. I left her a message, what's the deal?! well anyway, don't matter, i have a fake appointment on friday at 4 lol told my mum that so she'd get off my back. I'm gonna just bike over to the nearby state park and go explorin' on the trails that day to cover my tracks or whatever, cuz you never know, mum could pop in the house and kill me. and actually, i think it's good for me to get out of the house and do shit on these fake appointment days.
Someone should remind me to get the flu shot next time...I always pay for not getting it each year and I'm paying the consequences now.
Off to counselling tomorrow. First time I've done anything like this since I quit group therapy. Worked with the lady before but not since accepting myself. Hope it goes well!
Getting my hair cut tomorrow bright and early and then possibly clothes shopping. First time in my life I've cared about clothes. My binder should be here Wednesday. My sister is going to give me so much shit about everything, I just know it. She already makes a big deal about how "manly" I am.
I think tomorrow I'm going to spend all day driving on country roads and just get away from everyone for the day.
When I was younger the Internet was my sanctuary because no one could tell whether I was a "little boy" or a "little girl". They could assume, but they could never be sure and often chose the one with fewer restrictions on how they should speak to me, anyway. Now most spaces aren't much better than offline, because if I say "boyfriend" then I'm a heterosexual, cisgender female who's spoken to accordingly. If I say "girlfriend", then I'm a heterosexual, cisgender male who's spoken to accordingly. Interpretation of everything I say and my inclusion into or exclusion from little forum groups proceeds based upon that knowledge of my place in society. The Internet is now one big social media platform, and I stand out if I refuse such basic personal details that most love to align themselves with. I just construct myself as ambiguously as possible, and have started saying "significant other" instead of "boyfriend". My only real sanctuary right now is in fiction.
Great day. Skipped one class, and the other was canceled. Now to put my homework off for another six or so hours.
Why is it that whenever any of my friends or family need something from me weather it be ride, someone to talk to, money or anything I will always do whatever I can but when I need something which is rare I just get ignored? I just dont get it.